diff options
author | Jason McIntyre <jmc@cvs.openbsd.org> | 2004-09-28 20:40:04 +0000 |
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committer | Jason McIntyre <jmc@cvs.openbsd.org> | 2004-09-28 20:40:04 +0000 |
commit | e84b9bd986f7e8d454380c728a456ca9d3fa3daf (patch) | |
tree | 93f7f5eeb5145af032d22688c4dc632c2bf6b5cb /games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes | |
parent | e996d4847d9fed14f271fdb8c44a28b6c1b7c638 (diff) |
typos and fixes which make the databases follow the format specified
in Notes;
everything from ray at cyth net;
closes pr #3933;
ok deraadt@ pjanzen@
Diffstat (limited to 'games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes')
-rw-r--r-- | games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes | 105 |
1 files changed, 52 insertions, 53 deletions
diff --git a/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes b/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes index d937b1ff9ba..e34118c7867 100644 --- a/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes +++ b/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes @@ -18,15 +18,15 @@ the law! % 10.0 times 0.1 is hardly ever 1.0. % -100 buckets of bits on the bus +100 buckets of bits on the bus 100 buckets of bits Take one down, short it to ground -FF buckets of bits on the bus +FF buckets of bits on the bus -FF buckets of bits on the bus +FF buckets of bits on the bus FF buckets of bits Take one down, short it to ground -FE buckets of bits on the bus +FE buckets of bits on the bus ad infinitum... % @@ -117,8 +117,7 @@ placed in the fairway at a point equal to the distance it carried or rolled into the rough. Such veering right or left frequently results from friction between the face of the club and the cover of the ball and the player should not be penalized for the erratic behavior of the -ball resulting from such uncontrollable physical -phenomena. +ball resulting from such uncontrollable physical phenomena. -- Donald A. Metz % A baby is an alimentary canal with a loud voice at one end and no @@ -231,7 +230,7 @@ you will look forward to the trip. eating his morning meal. "I would like to give you this personality test", said the outsider, "because I want you to be happy." Drescher took the paper that was offered him and put it into -the toaster -- "I wish the toaster to be happy too". +the toaster -- "I wish the toaster to be happy too." % A diva who specializes in risqu'e arias is an off-coloratura soprano ... % @@ -545,7 +544,7 @@ A physicist is an atom's way of knowing about atoms. % A pig is a jolly companion, Boar, sow, barrow, or gilt -- -A pig is a pal, who'll boost your morale, +A pig is a pal, who'll boost your morale, Though mountains may topple and tilt. When they've blackballed, bamboozled, and burned you, When they've turned on you, Tory and Whig, @@ -999,7 +998,7 @@ to commit. % Ah say, son, you're about as sharp as a bowlin' ball. % -Ah, but the choice of dreams to live, +Ah, but the choice of dreams to live, there's the rub. For all dreams are not equal, @@ -1969,9 +1968,9 @@ away. Beifeld's Principle: The probability of a young man meeting a desirable and receptive young female increases by pyramidal progression - when he is already in the company of: - (1) a date, - (2) his wife, + when he is already in the company of: + (1) a date, + (2) his wife, (3) a better looking and richer male friend. % "Being disintegrated makes me ve-ry an-gry!" <huff, huff> @@ -2013,7 +2012,7 @@ lpr why santa claus < north pole > town cat /etc/passwd > list -ncheck list +ncheck list ncheck list cat list | grep naughty > nogiftlist cat list | grep nice > giftlist @@ -2121,7 +2120,7 @@ Bolub's Fourth Law of Computerdom: Bombeck's Rule of Medicine: Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. % -BOO! We changed Coke again! BLEAH! BLEAH! +BOO! We changed Coke again! BLEAH! BLEAH! % Boob's Law: You always find something in the last place you look. @@ -2388,7 +2387,7 @@ invent. misconstrue all these misquotations?!?"] % By the time they had diminished from 50 to 8, the other dwarves began -to suspect 'Hungry' ... +to suspect "Hungry" ... -- Gary Larson, "The Far Side" % By trying, we can easily learn to endure adversity -- another man's, I @@ -2692,7 +2691,7 @@ Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum -- "Cogito ergo I'm right and you're wrong." -- Blair Houghton % -Coincidence, n.: +Coincidence, n.: You weren't paying attention to the other half of what was going on. % @@ -3385,7 +3384,7 @@ W. C.: It's almost impossible. E. Whipsnade and other Tarradiddles" % Double Bucky - (Sung to the tune of "Rubber Duckie") + (Sung to the tune of "Rubber Duckie") Double bucky, you're the one! You make my keyboard lots of fun @@ -3395,7 +3394,7 @@ Control and Meta side by side, Augmented ASCII, nine bits wide! Double bucky, a half a thousand glyphs, plus a few! -Oh, I sure wish that I, +Oh, I sure wish that I, Had a couple of bits more! Perhaps a set of pedals to make the number of bits four. @@ -3561,7 +3560,7 @@ It's nearly done Look at him working, fixing the bugs in the night when there's nobody there. What does he care? - + All the lonely users, where do they all come from? All the lonely users, why does it take so long? Ah, look at all the lonely users. @@ -3654,7 +3653,7 @@ exactly, make people laugh. That's why they were called "wise men." All the other prehistoric people were out puncturing each other with spears, and the wise men were back in the cave saying: "How about: Would you please take my wife? No. How about: Here is my wife, please -take her right now. No How about: Would you like to take something? +take her right now. No. How about: Would you like to take something? My wife is available. No. How about ..." -- Dave Barry, "Why Humor is Funny" % @@ -3705,7 +3704,7 @@ Every little picofarad has a nanohenry all its own. Every man is as God made him, ay, and often worse. -- Miguel de Cervantes % -Every morning, I get up and look through the 'Forbes' list of the +Every morning, I get up and look through the "Forbes" list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work. -- Robert Orben % @@ -4346,7 +4345,7 @@ Corollary: % Fourth Law of Revision: It is usually impractical to worry beforehand about - interferences -- if you have none, someone will make + interferences -- if you have none, someone will make one for you. % Fourth Law of Thermodynamics: If the probability of success is not @@ -5148,7 +5147,7 @@ He was a fiddler, and consequently a rogue. "He was a modest, good-humored boy. It was Oxford that made him insufferable." % -He was so narrow minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes. +He was so narrow minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes. % He who attacks the fundamentals of the American broadcasting industry attacks democracy itself. @@ -5316,7 +5315,7 @@ experience and training, there's no reason why you shouldn't come out of this thing with at least a cabin cruiser. "Remember, at the Preston A. Mantis Consumers Retail Law Outlet, our -motto is: 'It is very difficult to disprove certain kinds of pain.'" +motto is: `It is very difficult to disprove certain kinds of pain.'" -- Dave Barry, "Pain and Suffering" % Hier liegt ein Mann ganz obnegleich; @@ -5885,7 +5884,7 @@ And think of the places my get-up has been. -- Pete Seeger % I had to censor everything my sons watched ... even on the Mary Tyler -Moore show I heard the word 'damn'! +Moore show I heard the word "damn"! -- Mary Lou Bax % I had to hit him -- he was starting to make sense. @@ -5929,7 +5928,7 @@ of an insult than as a reflection on your ancestry. % I have learned To spell hors d'oeuvres -Which still grates on +Which still grates on Some people's n'oeuvres. -- Warren Knox % @@ -6165,7 +6164,7 @@ They went this morning with the dawn. A logging firm from out of town Came and chopped the trees all down. But I will trick those dirty skunks -And write a brand new poem called 'Trunks'. +And write a brand new poem called "Trunks". % I think the sky is blue because it's a shift from black through purple to blue, and it has to do with where the light is. You know, the @@ -6430,7 +6429,7 @@ I'm proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is % I'm rated PG-34!! % -"I'm really enjoying not talking to you ... +"I'm really enjoying not talking to you ... Let's not talk again ____REAL soon ..." % I'm returning this note to you, instead of your paper, because it @@ -6939,7 +6938,7 @@ the sucker. If you stand on your head, you will get footprints in your hair. % If you stick a stock of liquor in your locker, -It is slick to stick a lock upon your stock. +It is slick to stick a lock upon your stock. Or some joker who is slicker, Will trick you of your liquor, If you fail to lock your liquor with a lock. @@ -7329,7 +7328,7 @@ from now the Mississippi will be only a mile and three-quarters long. ... There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesome returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact. - -- Mark Twain + -- Mark Twain % In the Top 40, half the songs are secret messages to the teen world to drop out, turn on, and groove with the chemicals and light shows at @@ -8288,7 +8287,7 @@ Life is like a simile. % Life is like an analogy. % -Life is like an onion: you peel off layer after layer, +Life is like an onion: you peel off layer after layer, and then you find there is nothing in it. -- James Huneker % @@ -8390,7 +8389,7 @@ to pay income taxes, too? % Loose bits sink chips. % -Losing your drivers' license is just God's way of saying +Losing your drivers' license is just God's way of saying "BOOGA, BOOGA!" % Lost interest? It's so bad I've lost apathy. @@ -8420,7 +8419,7 @@ Any kiddie in school can love like a fool, But Hating, my boy, is an Art. -- Ogden Nash % -Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing; a confusion of the real with +Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing; a confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished. -- Goethe % @@ -8438,11 +8437,11 @@ Love your enemies: they'll go crazy trying to figure out what you're up to. % Love's Drug -My love is like an iron wand +My love is like an iron wand That conks me on the head, -My love is like the valium +My love is like the valium That I take before my bed, -My love is like the pint of scotch +My love is like the pint of scotch That I drink when I be dry; And I shall love thee still, my dear, Until my wife is wise. @@ -9119,7 +9118,7 @@ villagers gathered around to hear what had passed. "At this time," said Nasrudin, "I only want to say that the King spoke to me." All the villagers but the stupidest ran off to spread the wonderful news. The remaining villager asked, "What did the King say to you?" "What he -said -- and quite distinctly, for everyone to hear -- was 'Get out of +said -- and quite distinctly, for everyone to hear -- was `Get out of my way!'" The simpleton was overjoyed; he had heard words actually spoken by the King, and seen the very man they were spoken to. % @@ -9546,7 +9545,7 @@ direct sunlight. Nuclear war can ruin your whole compile. -- Karl Lehenbauer % -Nuclear war would mean abolition of most comforts, and disruption of +Nuclear war would mean abolition of most comforts, and disruption of normal routines, for children and adults alike. -- Willard F. Libby, "You *Can* Survive Atomic Attack" % @@ -10506,7 +10505,7 @@ Proof techniques #2: Proof by Oddity. (2) They have two legs in back and fore legs in front. (3) This makes a total of six legs, which certainly is an odd number of legs for a horse. -(4) But the only number that is both odd and even is infinity. +(4) But the only number that is both odd and even is infinity. (5) Therefore, horses must have an infinite number of legs. Topics to be covered in future issues include proof by: @@ -10968,7 +10967,7 @@ Remember: Silly is a state of Mind, Stupid is a way of Life. Renning's Maxim: Man is the highest animal. Man does the classifying. % -Reporter (to Mahatma Gandhi): +Reporter (to Mahatma Gandhi): Mr. Gandhi, what do you think of Western Civilization? Gandhi: I think it would be a good idea. % @@ -10978,7 +10977,7 @@ Reporter, n.: -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary" % REPORTER: Senator, are you for or against the MX missile system? - + SENATOR: Bob, the MX missile system reminds me of an old saying that the country folk in my state like to say. It goes like this: "You can carry a pig for six miles, but if you set it down it might run away." @@ -11060,7 +11059,7 @@ Rule of Defactualization: % Rule of Feline Frustration: When your cat has fallen asleep on your lap and looks utterly - content and adorable, you will suddenly have to go to the bathroom. + content and adorable, you will suddenly have to go to the bathroom. % Rule of the Great: When people you greatly admire appear to be thinking deep @@ -12049,7 +12048,7 @@ The advertisement is the most truthful part of a newspaper -- Thomas Jefferson % The Advertising Agency Song: - + When your client's hopping mad, Put his picture in the ad. If he still should prove refractory, @@ -12862,16 +12861,16 @@ The moving cursor writes, and having written, blinks on. % ... the MYSTERIANS are in here with my CORDUROY SOAP DISH!! % - "... The name of the song is called 'Haddocks' Eyes'!" + "... The name of the song is called `Haddocks' Eyes'!" "Oh, that's the name of the song, is it?" Alice said, trying to feel interested. "No, you don't understand," the Knight said, looking a little -vexed. "That's what the name is called. The name really is, 'The Aged +vexed. "That's what the name is called. The name really is, `The Aged Aged Man.'" "Then I ought to have said "That's what the song is called'?" Alice corrected herself. "No, you oughtn't: that's quite another thing! The song is -called 'Ways and Means': but that's only what it is called you know!" +called `Ways and Means': but that's only what it is called you know!" "Well, what is the song then?" said Alice, who was by this time completely bewildered. "I was coming to that," the Knight said. "The song really is @@ -13749,14 +13748,14 @@ There is no time like the present for postponing what you ought to be doing. % There is no TRUTH. There is no REALITY. There is no CONSISTENCY. -There are no ABSOLUTE STATEMENTS I'm very probably wrong. +There are no ABSOLUTE STATEMENTS. I'm very probably wrong. % "There is nothing which cannot be answered by means of my doctrine," said a monk, coming into a teahouse where Nasrudin sat. "And yet just a short time ago, I was challenged by a scholar with an unanswerable question," said Nasrudin. "I could have answered it if I had been there." - "Very well. He asked, 'Why are you breaking into my house in + "Very well. He asked, `Why are you breaking into my house in the middle of the night?'" % There is nothing wrong with Southern California that a rise in the @@ -14319,7 +14318,7 @@ And where does it go after it leaves the toaster? -- Dave Barry, "What is Electricity?" % Today's thrilling story has been brought to you by Mushies, the great new -cereal that gets soggy even without milk or cream. Join us soon for more +cereal that gets soggy even without milk or cream. Join us soon for more spectacular adventure starring ... Tippy, the Wonder Dog! -- Bob & Ray % @@ -15652,8 +15651,8 @@ Worst Vegetable of the Year: "That depends a good deal on where you want to get to," said the Cat. -- Lewis Carroll % -Wouldn't the sentence 'I want to put a hyphen between the words Fish -and And and And and Chips in my Fish-And-Chips sign' have been clearer +Wouldn't the sentence "I want to put a hyphen between the words Fish +and And and And and Chips in my Fish-And-Chips sign" have been clearer if quotation marks had been placed before Fish, and between Fish and and, and and and And, and And and and, and and and And, and And and and, and and and Chips, as well as after Chips? @@ -15727,7 +15726,7 @@ Yinkel, n.: % You are a very redundant person, that's what kind of person you are. % -You are here: +You are here: *** *** ********* @@ -15844,7 +15843,7 @@ pound some old, hard fruit into it with a mallet. Be sure to wear safety glasses. -- Dave Barry, "Simple, Homespun Gifts" % -You can bring any calculator you like to the midterm, as long as it +You can bring any calculator you like to the midterm, as long as it doesn't dim the lights when you turn it on. -- Hepler, Systems Design 182 % |