move to a dynamically allocated struct pollfd array.

we used a ststic one with OPEN_MAX entries, which is a rather arbitary limit
as OPEN_MAX is _not_ the max # of open fds we can have, but just a default
for that setting.
in the same move we have to allocate the peer_l array, basically there
for pfd-index to peer pointers to prevent peer list scans all time,
dynamiccaly to. we overallocate a little and use that reserve until we
have to realloc again later to prevent reallocs for every single control
connection or a single flapping peer.
help & ok claudio

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