diff options
Diffstat (limited to 'games/fortune')
| -rw-r--r-- | games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes2 | 26 |
1 files changed, 13 insertions, 13 deletions
diff --git a/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes2 b/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes2 index 9e533b2542d..c63e8d1007d 100644 --- a/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes2 +++ b/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes2 @@ -598,7 +598,7 @@ today." With that, the wife peeks out the bedroom window and starts to laugh. "Nope." replies his wife. "Two of them are jumping up and down in the back of your truck, and the other one is honking the horn!" % - A father gave his teen-age daughter an untrained pedigreed pup for + A father gave his teenage daughter an untrained pedigreed pup for her birthday. An hour later, when wandered through the house, he found her looking at a puddle in the center of the kitchen. "My pup," she murmured sadly, "runneth over." @@ -2053,7 +2053,7 @@ library and I'm half way through the second cabinet, (3 shelves to go), so I should find what I'm looking for by mid May. I hope I can remember what it was by the time I find it. I had this idea for a new horror film, "VMS Manuals from Hell" or maybe -"The Paper Chase : IBM vs. DEC". It's based on Hitchcock's "The Birds", except +"The Paper Chase: IBM vs. DEC". It's based on Hitchcock's "The Birds", except that it's centered around a programmer who is attacked by a swarm of binder pages with an index number and the single line "This page intentionally left blank." @@ -2541,7 +2541,7 @@ therapy ask if people have had therapy. Assume that she bought them at a flea market. -- James Peterson and Kate Nolan % - NEW YORK-- Kraft Foods, Inc. announced today that its board of + NEW YORK -- Kraft Foods, Inc. announced today that its board of directors unanimously rejected the $11 billion takeover bid by Philip Morris and Co. A Kraft spokesman stated in a press conference that the offer was rejected because the $90-per-share bid did not reflect the @@ -3527,7 +3527,7 @@ right! Can I have a dollar?" % The master programmer moves from program to program without fear. No change in management can harm him. He will not be fired, even if the project -is canceled. Why is this? He is filled with the Tao. +is canceled. Why is this? He is filled with the Tao. -- Geoffrey James, "The Tao of Programming" % The Minnesota Board of Education voted to consider requiring all @@ -3723,7 +3723,7 @@ With a lot of these folks you'd have to check their green cards just to make sure that they are Earthlings. Then there's the police. In Portland, when some guy goes bananas, the cops rope off a sixteen block area around him and call a shrink from the medical school who stands atop a patrol car -with a megaphone and shouts, "OK! THIS! ALL! STARTED! WHEN! YOU! WERE! +with a megaphone and shouts, "OK! THIS! ALL! STARTED! WHEN! YOU! WERE! THREE! YEARS! OLD! ON! ACCOUNT! OF! YOUR MOTHER! RIGHT? SO! LET'S! TALK! ABOUT! IT!" Down here they don't waste that kind of time. The LAPD has SWAT teams composed of guys who make Darth Vader look like Mr. Peepers. @@ -3837,7 +3837,7 @@ against a wall, and this was inscribed on the floor: warlord Wu. The warlord asked the programmer: "Which is easier to design: an accounting package or an operating system?" "An operating system," replied the programmer. - The warlord uttered an exclamation of disbelief. "Surely an + The warlord uttered an exclamation of disbelief. "Surely an accounting package is trivial next to the complexity of an operating system," he said. "Not so," said the programmer, "when designing an accounting package, @@ -3847,7 +3847,7 @@ tax laws. By contrast, an operating system is not limited by outward appearances. When designing an operating system, the programmer seeks the simplest harmony between machine and ideas. This is why an operating system is easier to design." - The warlord of Wu nodded and smiled. "That is all good and well," + The warlord of Wu nodded and smiled. "That is all good and well," he said, "but which is easier to debug?" The programmer made no reply. -- Geoffrey James, "The Tao of Programming" @@ -4679,9 +4679,9 @@ marked "450 volts", react as you would normally. For those who have had too much of Esalen, Topanga, and Kairos. Tired of being genuine all the time? Would you like to learn how to be a little phony again? Have you disclosed so much that you're -beginning to avoid people? Have you touched so many people that -they're all beginning to feel the same? Like to be a little dependent? -Are perfect orgasms beginning to bore you? Would you like, for once, +beginning to avoid people? Have you touched so many people that +they're all beginning to feel the same? Like to be a little dependent? +Are perfect orgasms beginning to bore you? Would you like, for once, not to express a feeling? Or better yet, not be in touch with it at all? Come to us. We promise to relieve you of the burden of your great potential. @@ -5759,7 +5759,7 @@ A critic is a bundle of biases held loosely together by a sense of taste. -- Whitney Balliett % A "critic" is a man who creates nothing and thereby feels -qualified to judge the work of creative men. There is logic +qualified to judge the work of creative men. There is logic in this; he is unbiased -- he hates all creative people equally. % A day without orange juice is like a day without orange juice. @@ -6320,7 +6320,7 @@ A little inaccuracy saves a world of explanation. % A little kid went up to Santa and asked him, "Santa, you know when I'm bad right?" And Santa says, "Yes, I do." The little kid then asks, "And you -know when I'm sleeping?" To which Santa replies, "Every minute." So the +know when I'm sleeping?" To which Santa replies, "Every minute." So the little kid then says, "Well, if you know when I'm bad and when I'm good, then how come you don't know what I want for Christmas?" % @@ -42829,7 +42829,7 @@ But our minds won't be really be blown; Like the blow that'll get'cha, when you get your picture, On the cover of the Rolling Stone. -We got a lot of little, teen-aged, blue-eyed groupies, +We got a lot of little, teenaged, blue-eyed groupies, Who'll do anything we say. We got a genuine Indian guru, that's teachin' us a better way. We got all the friends that money can buy, |