typos and fixes which make the databases follow the format specified

in Notes;

everything from ray at cyth net;
closes pr #3933;

ok deraadt@ pjanzen@

8 files changed, 822 insertions, 824 deletions

diff --git a/games/fortune/Notes b/games/fortune/Notes
index 9b759c1fdb0..aa889323495 100644
--- a/games/fortune/Notes
+++ b/games/fortune/Notes
@@ -1,4 +1,4 @@
-#	$OpenBSD: Notes,v 1.2 2001/01/28 23:41:40 niklas Exp $
+#	$OpenBSD: Notes,v 1.3 2004/09/28 20:40:01 jmc Exp $
 #	$NetBSD: Notes,v 1.2 1995/03/23 08:28:26 cgd Exp $
 #	@(#)Notes	8.1 (Berkeley) 5/31/93
 
@@ -19,7 +19,7 @@ Warning:
 	By default, fortune retrieves its fortune files from the directory
 /usr/share/games/fortune.  A fortune file has two parts: the source file
 (which contains the fortunes themselves) and the data file which describes
-the fortunes.  The data fil always has the same name as the fortune file
+the fortunes.  The data file always has the same name as the fortune file
 with the string ".dat" concatenated, i.e. "fort" is the standard fortune
 database, and "fort.dat" is the data file which describes it.  See
 strfile(8) for more information on creating the data files.
diff --git a/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes b/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes
index d937b1ff9ba..e34118c7867 100644
--- a/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes
+++ b/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes
@@ -18,15 +18,15 @@ the law!
 %
 10.0 times 0.1 is hardly ever 1.0.
 %
-100 buckets of bits on the bus	
+100 buckets of bits on the bus
 100 buckets of bits
 Take one down, short it to ground
-FF buckets of bits on the bus	
+FF buckets of bits on the bus
 
-FF buckets of bits on the bus	
+FF buckets of bits on the bus
 FF buckets of bits
 Take one down, short it to ground
-FE buckets of bits on the bus	
+FE buckets of bits on the bus
 
 ad infinitum...
 %
@@ -117,8 +117,7 @@ placed in the fairway at a point equal to the distance it carried or
 rolled into the rough.  Such veering right or left frequently results
 from friction between the face of the club and the cover of the ball
 and the player should not be penalized for the erratic behavior of the
-ball resulting from such uncontrollable physical
-phenomena.
+ball resulting from such uncontrollable physical phenomena.
 		-- Donald A. Metz
 %
 A baby is an alimentary canal with a loud voice at one end and no
@@ -231,7 +230,7 @@ you will look forward to the trip.
 eating his morning meal.  "I would like to give you this personality
 test", said the outsider, "because I want you to be happy."
 	Drescher took the paper that was offered him and put it into
-the toaster -- "I wish the toaster to be happy too".
+the toaster -- "I wish the toaster to be happy too."
 %
 A diva who specializes in risqu'e arias is an off-coloratura soprano ...
 %
@@ -545,7 +544,7 @@ A physicist is an atom's way of knowing about atoms.
 %
 A pig is a jolly companion,
 Boar, sow, barrow, or gilt --
-A pig is a pal, who'll boost your morale, 
+A pig is a pal, who'll boost your morale,
 Though mountains may topple and tilt.
 When they've blackballed, bamboozled, and burned you,
 When they've turned on you, Tory and Whig,
@@ -999,7 +998,7 @@ to commit.
 %
 Ah say, son, you're about as sharp as a bowlin' ball.
 %
-Ah, but the choice of dreams to live, 
+Ah, but the choice of dreams to live,
 there's the rub.
 
 For all dreams are not equal,
@@ -1969,9 +1968,9 @@ away.
 Beifeld's Principle:
 	The probability of a young man meeting a desirable and
 	receptive young female increases by pyramidal progression
-	when he is already in the company of: 
-	(1) a date, 
-	(2) his wife, 
+	when he is already in the company of:
+	(1) a date,
+	(2) his wife,
 	(3) a better looking and richer male friend.
 %
 "Being disintegrated makes me ve-ry an-gry!"  <huff, huff>
@@ -2013,7 +2012,7 @@ lpr why
 santa claus < north pole > town
 
 cat /etc/passwd > list
-ncheck list 
+ncheck list
 ncheck list
 cat list | grep naughty > nogiftlist
 cat list | grep nice > giftlist
@@ -2121,7 +2120,7 @@ Bolub's Fourth Law of Computerdom:
 Bombeck's Rule of Medicine:
 	Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
 %
-BOO!  We changed Coke again!  BLEAH!  BLEAH! 
+BOO!  We changed Coke again!  BLEAH!  BLEAH!
 %
 Boob's Law:
 	You always find something in the last place you look.
@@ -2388,7 +2387,7 @@ invent.
 		   misconstrue all these misquotations?!?"]
 %
 By the time they had diminished from 50 to 8, the other dwarves began
-to suspect 'Hungry' ...
+to suspect "Hungry" ...
 		-- Gary Larson, "The Far Side"
 %
 By trying, we can easily learn to endure adversity -- another man's, I
@@ -2692,7 +2691,7 @@ Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum --
 "Cogito ergo I'm right and you're wrong."
 		-- Blair Houghton
 %
-Coincidence, n.: 
+Coincidence, n.:
 	You weren't paying attention to the other half of what was
 	going on.
 %
@@ -3385,7 +3384,7 @@ W. C.:	It's almost impossible.
 		   E. Whipsnade and other Tarradiddles"
 %
 		Double Bucky
-	(Sung to the tune of "Rubber Duckie")	
+	(Sung to the tune of "Rubber Duckie")
 
 Double bucky, you're the one!
 You make my keyboard lots of fun
@@ -3395,7 +3394,7 @@ Control and Meta side by side,
 Augmented ASCII, nine bits wide!
 	Double bucky, a half a thousand glyphs, plus a few!
 
-Oh, I sure wish that I,   
+Oh, I sure wish that I,
 Had a couple of bits more!
 Perhaps a set of pedals to make the number of bits four.
 
@@ -3561,7 +3560,7 @@ It's nearly done
 Look at him working, fixing the bugs in the night when there's
 	nobody there.
 What does he care?
- 
+
 All the lonely users, where do they all come from?
 All the lonely users, why does it take so long?
 Ah, look at all the lonely users.
@@ -3654,7 +3653,7 @@ exactly, make people laugh.  That's why they were called "wise men."
 All the other prehistoric people were out puncturing each other with
 spears, and the wise men were back in the cave saying: "How about:
 Would you please take my wife?  No.  How about: Here is my wife, please
-take her right now.  No How about:  Would you like to take something?
+take her right now.  No.  How about:  Would you like to take something?
 My wife is available.  No.  How about ..."
 		-- Dave Barry, "Why Humor is Funny"
 %
@@ -3705,7 +3704,7 @@ Every little picofarad has a nanohenry all its own.
 Every man is as God made him, ay, and often worse.
 		-- Miguel de Cervantes
 %
-Every morning, I get up and look through the 'Forbes' list of the
+Every morning, I get up and look through the "Forbes" list of the
 richest people in America.  If I'm not there, I go to work.
 		-- Robert Orben
 %
@@ -4346,7 +4345,7 @@ Corollary:
 %
 Fourth Law of Revision:
 	It is usually impractical to worry beforehand about
-	interferences -- if you have none, someone will make 
+	interferences -- if you have none, someone will make
 	one for you.
 %
 Fourth Law of Thermodynamics:  If the probability of success is not
@@ -5148,7 +5147,7 @@ He was a fiddler, and consequently a rogue.
 "He was a modest, good-humored boy.  It was Oxford that made him
 insufferable."
 %
-He was so narrow minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes. 
+He was so narrow minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes.
 %
 He who attacks the fundamentals of the American broadcasting industry
 attacks democracy itself.
@@ -5316,7 +5315,7 @@ experience and training, there's no reason why you shouldn't come out
 of this thing with at least a cabin cruiser.
 
 "Remember, at the Preston A. Mantis Consumers Retail Law Outlet, our
-motto is:  'It is very difficult to disprove certain kinds of pain.'"
+motto is:  `It is very difficult to disprove certain kinds of pain.'"
 		-- Dave Barry, "Pain and Suffering"
 %
 Hier liegt ein Mann ganz obnegleich;
@@ -5885,7 +5884,7 @@ And think of the places my get-up has been.
 		-- Pete Seeger
 %
 I had to censor everything my sons watched ... even on the Mary Tyler
-Moore show I heard the word 'damn'!
+Moore show I heard the word "damn"!
 		-- Mary Lou Bax
 %
 I had to hit him -- he was starting to make sense.
@@ -5929,7 +5928,7 @@ of an insult than as a reflection on your ancestry.
 %
 I have learned
 To spell hors d'oeuvres
-Which still grates on 
+Which still grates on
 Some people's n'oeuvres.
 		-- Warren Knox
 %
@@ -6165,7 +6164,7 @@ They went this morning with the dawn.
 A logging firm from out of town
 Came and chopped the trees all down.
 But I will trick those dirty skunks
-And write a brand new poem called 'Trunks'.
+And write a brand new poem called "Trunks".
 %
 I think the sky is blue because it's a shift from black through purple
 to blue, and it has to do with where the light is.  You know, the
@@ -6430,7 +6429,7 @@ I'm proud to be paying taxes in the United States.  The only thing is
 %
 I'm rated PG-34!!
 %
-"I'm really enjoying not talking to you ... 
+"I'm really enjoying not talking to you ...
 Let's not talk again ____REAL soon ..."
 %
 I'm returning this note to you, instead of your paper, because it
@@ -6939,7 +6938,7 @@ the sucker.
 If you stand on your head, you will get footprints in your hair.
 %
 If you stick a stock of liquor in your locker,
-It is slick to stick a lock upon your stock. 
+It is slick to stick a lock upon your stock.
 	Or some joker who is slicker,
 	Will trick you of your liquor,
 If you fail to lock your liquor with a lock.
@@ -7329,7 +7328,7 @@ from now the Mississippi will be only a mile and three-quarters long.
 ... There is something fascinating about science.  One gets such
 wholesome returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of
 fact.
-		-- Mark Twain 
+		-- Mark Twain
 %
 In the Top 40, half the songs are secret messages to the teen world to
 drop out, turn on, and groove with the chemicals and light shows at
@@ -8288,7 +8287,7 @@ Life is like a simile.
 %
 Life is like an analogy.
 %
-Life is like an onion: you peel off layer after layer, 
+Life is like an onion: you peel off layer after layer,
 and then you find there is nothing in it.
 		-- James Huneker
 %
@@ -8390,7 +8389,7 @@ to pay income taxes, too?
 %
 Loose bits sink chips.
 %
-Losing your drivers' license is just God's way of saying 
+Losing your drivers' license is just God's way of saying
 "BOOGA, BOOGA!"
 %
 Lost interest?  It's so bad I've lost apathy.
@@ -8420,7 +8419,7 @@ Any kiddie in school can love like a fool,
 But Hating, my boy, is an Art.
 		-- Ogden Nash
 %
-Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing; a confusion of the real with 
+Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing; a confusion of the real with
 the ideal never goes unpunished.
 		-- Goethe
 %
@@ -8438,11 +8437,11 @@ Love your enemies: they'll go crazy trying to figure out what you're up to.
 %
 	Love's Drug
 
-My love is like an iron wand 
+My love is like an iron wand
 	That conks me on the head,
-My love is like the valium 
+My love is like the valium
 	That I take before my bed,
-My love is like the pint of scotch 
+My love is like the pint of scotch
 	That I drink when I be dry;
 And I shall love thee still, my dear,
 	Until my wife is wise.
@@ -9119,7 +9118,7 @@ villagers gathered around to hear what had passed.  "At this time,"
 said Nasrudin, "I only want to say that the King spoke to me."  All the
 villagers but the stupidest ran off to spread the wonderful news.  The
 remaining villager asked, "What did the King say to you?"  "What he
-said -- and quite distinctly, for everyone to hear -- was 'Get out of
+said -- and quite distinctly, for everyone to hear -- was `Get out of
 my way!'" The simpleton was overjoyed; he had heard words actually
 spoken by the King, and seen the very man they were spoken to.
 %
@@ -9546,7 +9545,7 @@ direct sunlight.
 Nuclear war can ruin your whole compile.
 		-- Karl Lehenbauer
 %
-Nuclear war would mean abolition of most comforts, and disruption of 
+Nuclear war would mean abolition of most comforts, and disruption of
 normal routines, for children and adults alike.
 		-- Willard F. Libby, "You *Can* Survive Atomic Attack"
 %
@@ -10506,7 +10505,7 @@ Proof techniques #2: Proof by Oddity.
 (2) They have two legs in back and fore legs in front.
 (3) This makes a total of six legs, which certainly is an odd number of
     legs for a horse.
-(4) But the only number that is both odd and even is infinity. 
+(4) But the only number that is both odd and even is infinity.
 (5) Therefore, horses must have an infinite number of legs.
 
 Topics to be covered in future issues include proof by:
@@ -10968,7 +10967,7 @@ Remember:  Silly is a state of Mind, Stupid is a way of Life.
 Renning's Maxim:
 	Man is the highest animal.  Man does the classifying.
 %
-Reporter (to Mahatma Gandhi): 
+Reporter (to Mahatma Gandhi):
 	Mr. Gandhi, what do you think of Western Civilization?
 Gandhi:	I think it would be a good idea.
 %
@@ -10978,7 +10977,7 @@ Reporter, n.:
 		-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
 %
 REPORTER: Senator, are you for or against the MX missile system?
- 
+
 SENATOR: Bob, the MX missile system reminds me of an old saying that
 the country folk in my state like to say.  It goes like this: "You can
 carry a pig for six miles, but if you set it down it might run away."
@@ -11060,7 +11059,7 @@ Rule of Defactualization:
 %
 Rule of Feline Frustration:
 	When your cat has fallen asleep on your lap and looks utterly
-	content and adorable, you will suddenly have to go to the bathroom.  
+	content and adorable, you will suddenly have to go to the bathroom.
 %
 Rule of the Great:
 	When people you greatly admire appear to be thinking deep
@@ -12049,7 +12048,7 @@ The advertisement is the most truthful part of a newspaper
 		-- Thomas Jefferson
 %
 The Advertising Agency Song:
- 
+
 	When your client's hopping mad,
 	Put his picture in the ad.
 	If he still should prove refractory,
@@ -12862,16 +12861,16 @@ The moving cursor writes, and having written, blinks on.
 %
 ... the MYSTERIANS are in here with my CORDUROY SOAP DISH!!
 %
-	"... The name of the song is called 'Haddocks' Eyes'!"
+	"... The name of the song is called `Haddocks' Eyes'!"
 	"Oh, that's the name of the song, is it?" Alice said, trying to
 feel interested.
 	"No, you don't understand," the Knight said, looking a little
-vexed.  "That's what the name is called.  The name really is, 'The Aged
+vexed.  "That's what the name is called.  The name really is, `The Aged
 Aged Man.'"
 	"Then I ought to have said "That's what the song is called'?"
 Alice corrected herself.
 	"No, you oughtn't:  that's quite another thing!  The song is
-called 'Ways and Means':  but that's only what it is called you know!"
+called `Ways and Means':  but that's only what it is called you know!"
 	"Well, what is the song then?" said Alice, who was by this time
 completely bewildered.
 	"I was coming to that," the Knight said.  "The song really is
@@ -13749,14 +13748,14 @@ There is no time like the present for postponing what you ought to be
 doing.
 %
 There is no TRUTH.  There is no REALITY.  There is no CONSISTENCY.
-There are no ABSOLUTE STATEMENTS   I'm very probably wrong.
+There are no ABSOLUTE STATEMENTS.  I'm very probably wrong.
 %
 "There is nothing which cannot be answered by means of my doctrine,"
 said a monk, coming into a teahouse where Nasrudin sat.
 	"And yet just a short time ago, I was challenged by a scholar
 with an unanswerable question," said Nasrudin.
 	"I could have answered it if I had been there."
-	"Very well.  He asked, 'Why are you breaking into my house in
+	"Very well.  He asked, `Why are you breaking into my house in
 the middle of the night?'"
 %
 There is nothing wrong with Southern California that a rise in the
@@ -14319,7 +14318,7 @@ And where does it go after it leaves the toaster?
 		-- Dave Barry, "What is Electricity?"
 %
 Today's thrilling story has been brought to you by Mushies, the great new
-cereal that gets soggy even without milk or cream.  Join us soon for more 
+cereal that gets soggy even without milk or cream.  Join us soon for more
 spectacular adventure starring ... Tippy, the Wonder Dog!
 		-- Bob & Ray
 %
@@ -15652,8 +15651,8 @@ Worst Vegetable of the Year:
 "That depends a good deal on where you want to get to," said the Cat.
 		-- Lewis Carroll
 %
-Wouldn't the sentence 'I want to put a hyphen between the words Fish
-and And and And and Chips in my Fish-And-Chips sign' have been clearer
+Wouldn't the sentence "I want to put a hyphen between the words Fish
+and And and And and Chips in my Fish-And-Chips sign" have been clearer
 if quotation marks had been placed before Fish, and between Fish and
 and, and and and And, and And and and, and and and And, and And and
 and, and and and Chips, as well as after Chips?
@@ -15727,7 +15726,7 @@ Yinkel, n.:
 %
 You are a very redundant person, that's what kind of person you are.
 %
-You are here:   
+You are here:
 		***
 		***
 	     *********
@@ -15844,7 +15843,7 @@ pound some old, hard fruit into it with a mallet.  Be sure to wear
 safety glasses.
 		-- Dave Barry, "Simple, Homespun Gifts"
 %
-You can bring any calculator you like to the midterm, as long as it 
+You can bring any calculator you like to the midterm, as long as it
 doesn't dim the lights when you turn it on.
 		-- Hepler, Systems Design 182
 %
diff --git a/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes-o.real b/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes-o.real
index b6ee503d0c2..5d6d493a2a3 100644
--- a/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes-o.real
+++ b/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes-o.real
@@ -1780,7 +1780,7 @@ Did groove and trip out at the pad:	The Radcliffe girl, no idle flirt,
 All whimsy were the slamming chicks,	Crept past the hippies getting balled
 And the Radcliffe undergrad.		And doffed her miniskirt.
 
-"Beware the Radcliffe girl, my son!	One, two!  One, two!  And through 
+"Beware the Radcliffe girl, my son!	One, two!  One, two!  And through
 The looks that melt, the claws that		and through
 	catch!				The venerable staff went snicker-snack!
 Beware the Byrn Mawr deb, and shun	He left her bred, sans maidenhead,
@@ -1791,7 +1791,7 @@ Long time the cool young stuff he	Come to my arms, my horny boy!
 	sought --			O spaced-out day!  Calooh!  Callay!"
 So rested he among the spree		He cackled in his joy.
 And paused to smoke some pot.
-					'Twas orgy, and the hip and mod	
+					'Twas orgy, and the hip and mod
 					Did groove and trip out at the pad:
 					All whimsy were the slamming chicks,
 					And the Radcliffe undergrad.
diff --git a/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes2 b/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes2
index 9474e1171dc..612bc5d2373 100644
--- a/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes2
+++ b/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes2
@@ -101,10 +101,10 @@ either.  If you need some help, give us a call.
 		  _--~~~#####// '  ` \\#####~~~--_
 		-~##########// (    ) \\##########~-_
 	       -############//  |\^^/|  \\############-
-	     _~############//   (O||O)   \\############~_ 
-	    ~#############((     \\//     ))#############~  
+	     _~############//   (O||O)   \\############~_
+	    ~#############((     \\//     ))#############~
 	   -###############\\    (oo)    //###############-
-	  -#################\\  / `' \  //#################- 
+	  -#################\\  / `' \  //#################-
 	 -###################\\/  ()  \//###################-
 	_#/|##########/\######(  (())  )######/\##########|\#_
 	|/ |#/\#/\#/\/  \#/\##|  \()/  |##/\#/  \/\#/\#/\#| \|
@@ -282,10 +282,10 @@ steel industries.
 
 And everyone thinks computers are impersonal
 cold diskdrives hardware monitors
-user-hostile software 
+user-hostile software
 
-of course they're only bits and bytes 
-and characters and strings 
+of course they're only bits and bytes
+and characters and strings
 and files
 
 just some old textfiles from my old boyfriend
@@ -358,15 +358,15 @@ Uzi submachine gun concealed in his attache case.  Also in the case are four
 fully loaded, 32-round clips of 125-grain 9mm ammunition.  The owner of the
 Uzi is going to get more tactical firepower delivered -- and delivered on
 target -- in less time, and with less effort.  All for $795. It's inevitable.
-If you're going up against some guy with an Osborne 1 -- or any personal 
+If you're going up against some guy with an Osborne 1 -- or any personal
 computer -- he's the one who's in trouble.  One round from an Uzi can zip
 through ten inches of solid pine wood, so you can imagine what it will do
-to structural foam acrylic and sheet aluminum.  In fact, detachable magazines 
-for the Uzi are available in 25-, 32-, and 40-round capacities, so you can 
+to structural foam acrylic and sheet aluminum.  In fact, detachable magazines
+for the Uzi are available in 25-, 32-, and 40-round capacities, so you can
 take out an entire office full of Apple II or IBM Personal Computers tied
 into Ethernet or other local-area networks.  What about the new 16-bit
-computers, like the Lisa and Fortune?  Even with the Winchester backup, 
-they're no match for the Uzi.  One quick burst and they'll find out what 
+computers, like the Lisa and Fortune?  Even with the Winchester backup,
+they're no match for the Uzi.  One quick burst and they'll find out what
 Unix means.  Make your commanding officer proud.  Get an Uzi -- and come home
 a winner in the fight for office automatic weapons.
 		-- "InfoWorld", June, 1984
@@ -569,15 +569,15 @@ the outsider, "because I want you to be happy."
 	Drescher took the paper that was offered him and put it into the
 toaster -- "I wish the toaster to be happy too".
 %
-	A doctor, an architect, and a computer scientist were arguing about 
+	A doctor, an architect, and a computer scientist were arguing about
 whose profession was the oldest.  In the course of their arguments, they
 got all the way back to the Garden of Eden, whereupon the doctor said, "The
 medical profession is clearly the oldest, because Eve was made from Adam's
 rib, as the story goes, and that was a simply incredible surgical feat."
-	The architect did not agree.  He said, "But if you look at the Garden 
-itself, in the beginning there was chaos and void, and out of that the Garden 
+	The architect did not agree.  He said, "But if you look at the Garden
+itself, in the beginning there was chaos and void, and out of that the Garden
 and the world were created.  So God must have been an architect."
-	The computer scientist, who'd listened carefully to all of this, then 
+	The computer scientist, who'd listened carefully to all of this, then
 commented, "Yes, but where do you think the chaos came from?"
 %
 	A farmer decides that his three sows should be bred, and contacts a
@@ -632,19 +632,19 @@ hand.  I held firmly with my left hand and slid my right hand up the body of
 the snake.  When I reached the head of the snake I flicked my right thumb down
 to break the snake's spine... did you ever goose a tiger?"
 %
-	A guy returns from a long trip to Europe, having left his beloved 
-dog in his brother's care.  The minute he's cleared customs, he calls up his 
+	A guy returns from a long trip to Europe, having left his beloved
+dog in his brother's care.  The minute he's cleared customs, he calls up his
 brother and inquires after his pet.
 	"Your dog's dead," replies his brother bluntly.
-	The guy is devastated.  "You know how much that dog meant to me," 
-he moaned into the phone.  "Couldn't you at least have thought of a nicer way 
-of breaking the news?  Couldn't you have said, `Well, you know, the dog got 
-outside one day, and was crossing the street, and a car was speeding around a 
+	The guy is devastated.  "You know how much that dog meant to me,"
+he moaned into the phone.  "Couldn't you at least have thought of a nicer way
+of breaking the news?  Couldn't you have said, `Well, you know, the dog got
+outside one day, and was crossing the street, and a car was speeding around a
 corner...' or something...?  Why are you always so thoughtless?"
 	"Look, I'm sorry," said his brother, "I guess I just didn't think."
 	"Okay, okay, let's just put it behind us.  How are you anyway?
 How's Mom?"
-	His brother is silent a moment.  "Uh," he stammers, "uh... Mom got 
+	His brother is silent a moment.  "Uh," he stammers, "uh... Mom got
 outside one day..."
 %
 	A guy walks into a pub and asks: "Does anyone here own a Doberman?
@@ -706,7 +706,7 @@ German, can knit and can curse in Latin.
 told, "that one is 150,000."
 	"Why, what can it do?" he asks.
 	"Well," says the shopkeeper, "to tell you the truth, he doesn't
-do anything, but the other birds call him Mr. Secretary."  
+do anything, but the other birds call him Mr. Secretary."
 		-- being told in Poland, 1987
 %
 	A man from AI walked across the mountains to SAIL to see the Master,
@@ -909,9 +909,9 @@ of the gods!  By not seeking to strive, it conquers without effort."
 		-- Geoffrey James, "The Tao of Programming"
 %
 	A novice asked the master: "In the east there is a great tree-structure
-that men call 'Corporate Headquarters'.  It is bloated out of shape with
+that men call `Corporate Headquarters'.  It is bloated out of shape with
 vice-presidents and accountants.  It issues a multitude of memos, each saying
-'Go, Hence!' or 'Go, Hither!' and nobody knows what is meant.  Every year new
+`Go, Hence!' or `Go, Hither!' and nobody knows what is meant.  Every year new
 names are put onto the branches, but all to no avail.  How can such an
 unnatural entity exist?"
 	The master replies: "You perceive this immense structure and are
@@ -961,7 +961,7 @@ strings of pearls.  The spirit and intent of the program should be retained
 throughout.  There should be neither too little nor too much, neither needless
 loops nor useless variables, neither lack of structure nor overwhelming
 rigidity.
-	A program should follow the 'Law of Least Astonishment'.  What is this
+	A program should follow the "Law of Least Astonishment".  What is this
 law?  It is simply that the program should always respond to the user in the
 way that astonishes him least.
 	A program, no matter how complex, should act as a single unit.  The
@@ -1015,7 +1015,7 @@ only to receive the following notice:  "We must report that during the handling
 of your twelve 35mm Kodachrome slide orders, the films were involved in an
 unusual laboratory experience."  The use of the passive is a particularly nice
 touch, don't you think?  Nobody did anything to the films; they just had a bad
-experience.  Of course our reader can always go back to Tibet and take his 
+experience.  Of course our reader can always go back to Tibet and take his
 pictures all over again, using the twelve replacement rolls Kodak so generously
 sent him.
 		-- Quarterly Review of Doublespeak (NCTE)
@@ -1082,15 +1082,15 @@ this marriage and I would want to be this happy again."
 	The wife asked, "Would you give your new wife my car?"
 	"Yes," he replied.  "That's a good car and it runs well."
 	"Well, would you live in this house?"
-	"Yes, it is a lovely house and you have decorated it beautifully. 
+	"Yes, it is a lovely house and you have decorated it beautifully.
 I've always loved it here."
 	"Well, would you give her my golf clubs?"
 	"No."
 	"Why not?"
 	"She's left handed."
 %
-	A young honeymoon couple were touring southern Florida and happened 
-to stop at one of the rattlesnake farms along the road.  After seeing the 
+	A young honeymoon couple were touring southern Florida and happened
+to stop at one of the rattlesnake farms along the road.  After seeing the
 sights, they engaged in small talk with the man that handled the snakes.
 "Gosh!" exclaimed the new bride.  "You certainly have a dangerous job.
 Don't you ever get bitten by the snakes?"
@@ -1155,7 +1155,7 @@ realize the full significance of Pharoah's oxhide!"
 		   Feghoot!"
 %
 	After watching an extremely attractive maternity-ward patient
-earnestly thumbing her way through a telephone directory for several 
+earnestly thumbing her way through a telephone directory for several
 minutes, a hospital orderly finally asked if he could be of some help.
 	"No, thanks," smiled the young mother, "I'm just looking for a
 name for my baby."
@@ -1247,7 +1247,7 @@ and we offer you a chance to kill yourself with our ceremonial knife."
 	The Englishman accepts the knife and yells, "God Save the Queen",
 while plunging the knife into his heart.
  	The Frenchman removes the knife from the fallen body, and yells,
-"Vive la France", while plunging the knife into his heart.  
+"Vive la France", while plunging the knife into his heart.
 	The American removes the knife from the fallen body, and yells,
 while stabbing himself all over his body, "Here's your lousy canoe!"
 %
@@ -1459,7 +1459,7 @@ CONSEQUENTIAL DAMAGES.
 	Nov 9		Korean War Amputees
 	Nov 15		VA Hospital Polio Patients
 %
-	"Darling," he breathed, "after making love I doubt if I'll 
+	"Darling," he breathed, "after making love I doubt if I'll
 be able to get over you -- so would you mind answering the phone?"
 %
 	"Darling," she whispered, "will you still love me after we are
@@ -1472,7 +1472,7 @@ white electric blanket?  I'm afraid to wash it in the machine.
 
 Thanks, Kathy.  (front desk, x17)
 
-p.s.	Also, anyone ever used Noxema on friction burns?  
+p.s.	Also, anyone ever used Noxema on friction burns?
 	Or is Vaseline better?
 %
 	Dr. Oliver Wendell Holmes of Harvard Medical School inhaled ether
@@ -1505,9 +1505,9 @@ man commented, "Sounds to me like a practical choker."
 	It's the theory of Jess Birnbaum, of Time magazine, that women with
 bad legs should stick to long skirts because they cover a multitude of shins.
 %
-	During a grouse hunt in North Carolina two intrepid sportsmen were 
-blasting away at a clump of trees near a stone wall.  Suddenly a red-face 
-country squire popped his head over the wall and shouted, "Hey, you almost 
+	During a grouse hunt in North Carolina two intrepid sportsmen were
+blasting away at a clump of trees near a stone wall.  Suddenly a red-face
+country squire popped his head over the wall and shouted, "Hey, you almost
 hit my wife."
 	"Did I?" cried one hunter, aghast.  "Terribly sorry.  Have a shot
 at mine, over there."
@@ -1546,7 +1546,7 @@ how to be excellent: "In Search of Excellence", "Finding Excellence",
 So the Cleaning Personnel Don't Steal It", etc.
 		-- Dave Barry, "In Search of Excellence"
 %
-	Exxon's 'Universe of Energy' tends to the peculiar rather than the
+	Exxon's "Universe of Energy" tends to the peculiar rather than the
 humorous ... After [an incomprehensible film montage about wind and sun and
 rain and strip mines and] two or three minutes of mechanical confusion, the
 seats locomote through a short tunnel filled with clock-work dinosaurs.
@@ -1560,26 +1560,26 @@ but the import seems to be that dinosaurs don't have anything to do with
 energy policy and neither do you."
 		-- P.J. O'Rourke, "Holidays in Hell"
 %
-	For example, in Year 1 that useless letter 'c' would be dropped to be
-replased either by 'k' or 's', and likewise 'x' would no longer be part of the
-alphabet. The only kase in which 'c' would be retained would be the 'ch'
-formation, which will be dealt with later. Year 2 might reform 'w' spelling,
-so that 'which' and 'one' would take the same konsonant, wile Year 3 might
-well abolish 'y' replasing it with 'i' and Iear 4 might fiks the 'g-j'
+	For example, in Year 1 that useless letter "c" would be dropped to be
+replased either by "k" or "s", and likewise "x" would no longer be part of the
+alphabet. The only kase in which "c" would be retained would be the "ch"
+formation, which will be dealt with later. Year 2 might reform "w" spelling,
+so that "which" and "one" would take the same konsonant, wile Year 3 might
+well abolish "y" replasing it with "i" and Iear 4 might fiks the "g-j"
 anomali wonse and for all.
 	Jenerally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bai iear with
 Iear 5 doing awai with useless double konsonants, and Iears 6-12 or so
 modifaiing vowlz and the rimeining voist and unvoist konsonants.  Bai
 Iear 15 or sou, it wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi ridandant letez
-'c', 'y' and 'x' - bai now jast a memori in the maindz ov ould doderez - tu
-riplais 'ch', 'sh', and 'th' rispektivli.
+"c", "y" and "x" - bai now jast a memori in the maindz ov ould doderez - tu
+riplais "ch", "sh", and "th" rispektivli.
 	Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud hev a
 lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld.
 %
 	"Found it," the Mouse replied rather crossly:
-"of course you know what 'it' means."
+"of course you know what `it' means."
 
-	"I know what 'it' means well enough, when I find a thing,"
+	"I know what `it' means well enough, when I find a thing,"
 said the Duck: "it's generally a frog or a worm.
 
 The question is, what did the archbishop find?"
@@ -1591,15 +1591,15 @@ such as a "pride of lions" or a "gaggle of geese."
 	One of the professors noticed a group of prostitutes down the block,
 and posed the question, "What name would be given to that group?"  The four
 fell into silence for a moment, as they pondered the possibilities...
-	At last, one spoke: "How about 'a Jam of Tarts'?"  The others nodded
+	At last, one spoke: "How about `a Jam of Tarts'?"  The others nodded
 in acknowledgement as they continued to consider the problem.  A second
-professor spoke: "I'd suggest 'an Essay of Trollops.'"  Again, the others
-nodded.  A third spoke: "I propose 'a Flourish of Strumpets.'"
+professor spoke: "I'd suggest `an Essay of Trollops'."  Again, the others
+nodded.  A third spoke: "I propose `a Flourish of Strumpets'."
 	They continued their walk in silence, until the first professor
 remarked to the remaining professor, who was the most senior and learned of
 the four, "You haven't suggested a name for our ladies.  What are your
 thoughts?"
-	Replied the fourth professor, "'An Anthology of Prose.'"
+	Replied the fourth professor, "`An Anthology of Prose'."
 %
 	Fred noticed his roommate had a black eye upon returning from a dance.
 "What happened?"  "I was struck by the beauty of the place."
@@ -1616,9 +1616,9 @@ his honeymoon a chastened man.  He'd become aware of the will of the wisp.
 little pebble on the beach.  The marriage counselor told him, "If you wish to
 save your marriage, you'd better be a little boulder."
 %
-	Friends were surprised, indeed, when Frank and Jennifer broke their 
-engagement, but Frank had a ready explanation: "Would you marry someone who 
-was habitually unfaithful, who lied at every turn, who was selfish and lazy 
+	Friends were surprised, indeed, when Frank and Jennifer broke their
+engagement, but Frank had a ready explanation: "Would you marry someone who
+was habitually unfaithful, who lied at every turn, who was selfish and lazy
 and sarcastic?"
 	"Of course not," said a sympathetic friend.
 	"Well," retorted Frank, "neither would Jennifer."
@@ -1630,8 +1630,8 @@ extracurricular activity except you."
 %
 	"Gentlemen of the jury," said the defense attorney, now beginning
 to warm to his summation, "the real question here before you is, shall this
-beautiful young woman be forced to languish away her loveliest years in a 
-dark prison cell?  Or shall she be set free to return to her cozy little 
+beautiful young woman be forced to languish away her loveliest years in a
+dark prison cell?  Or shall she be set free to return to her cozy little
 apartment at 4134 Mountain Ave. -- there to spend her lonely, loveless hours
 in her boudoir, lying beside her little Princess phone, 962-7873?"
 %
@@ -1702,7 +1702,7 @@ for it is complete within itself.  It exists beyond space and time."
 	Software and Hardware, ashamed, returned to their homes.
 		-- Geoffrey James, "The Tao of Programming"
 %
-	Harry, a golfing enthusiast if there ever was one, arrived home 
+	Harry, a golfing enthusiast if there ever was one, arrived home
 from the club to an irate, ranting wife.
 	"I'm leaving you, Harry," his wife announced bitterly.  "You
 promised me faithfully that you'd be back before six and here it is almost
@@ -1718,7 +1718,7 @@ the next 15 holes, it was hit the ball, drag Fred, hit the ball, drag Fred...
 No matter how bad the situation, he would always say, "Well, it could have
 been worse."
 	To cure him of his annoying habit, his friends decided to invent a
-situation so completely black, so dreadful, that even Harry could find no 
+situation so completely black, so dreadful, that even Harry could find no
 hope in it.  Approaching him at the club bar one day, one of them said,
 "Harry!  Did you hear what happened to George?  He came home last night,
 found his wife in bed with another man, shot them both, and then turned
@@ -1882,10 +1882,10 @@ each other up:
      Bob: Fine.
 		-- Dave Barry
 %
-	"I don't know what you mean by 'glory'," Alice said.
+	"I don't know what you mean by `glory'," Alice said.
 	Humpty Dumpty smiled contemptuously.  "Of course you don't --
-till I tell you.  I meant 'there's a nice knock-down argument for you!'"
-	"But glory doesn't mean 'a nice knock-down argument'," Alice
+till I tell you.  I meant `there's a nice knock-down argument for you!'"
+	"But glory doesn't mean `a nice knock-down argument'," Alice
 objected.
 	"When I use a word," Humpty Dumpty said, in a rather scornful
 tone, "it means just what I choose it to mean -- neither more nor less."
@@ -2025,7 +2025,7 @@ we'll either all go into the playoffs, or we'll all go home and play golf.
 	If you rap your knuckles against a window jamb or door, if you
 brush your leg against a bed or desk, if you catch your foot in a curled-
 up corner of a rug, or strike a toe against a desk or chair, go back and
-repeat the sequence. 
+repeat the sequence.
 	You will find yourself surprised how far off course you were to
 hit that window jamb, that door, that chair.  Get back on course and do it
 again.  How can you pilot a spacecraft if you can't find your way around
@@ -2262,7 +2262,7 @@ not be pleased with this plan, because they want you all to themselves and
 because in the presence of your friend, they will have to act like mature
 human beings.
 	The worst kind of friend to take home is a girl, because in that case,
-there is the potential that your parents will lose you not just for the 
+there is the potential that your parents will lose you not just for the
 duration of the visit but forever.  The worst kind of girl to take home is one
 of a different religion:  Not only will you be lost to your parents forever but
 you will be lost to a woman who is immune to their religious/moral arguments
@@ -2273,7 +2273,7 @@ response to anyone of a different religion.  How to prepare them for the shock?
 	Simple.  Call them up shortly before your visit and tell them that you
 have gotten quite serious about somebody who is of a different religion, a
 different race and the same sex.  Tell them you have already invited this
-person to meet them.  Give the information a moment to sink in and then 
+person to meet them.  Give the information a moment to sink in and then
 remark that you were only kidding, that your lover is merely of a different
 religion.  They will be so relieved they will welcome her with open arms.
 		-- Playboy, January, 1983
@@ -2452,10 +2452,10 @@ people in England, they've chosen you, it's a great honour, son."
 	Laughingly I felled her with a right cross.
 		-- Spike Milligan
 %
-	Moving along a dimly light street, a man I know was suddenly 
+	Moving along a dimly light street, a man I know was suddenly
 approached by a stranger who had slipped from the shadows nearby.
 	"Please, sir," pleaded the stranger, "would you be so kind as
-to help a poor unfortunate fellow who is hungry and can't find work?  
+to help a poor unfortunate fellow who is hungry and can't find work?
 All I have in the world is this gun."
 %
 	Mr. Jones related an incident from "some time back" when IBM Canada
@@ -2579,18 +2579,18 @@ can't."
 %
 	Now she speaks rapidly.  "Do you know *why* you want to program?"
 	He shakes his head.  He hasn't the faintest idea.
-	"For the sheer *joy* of programming!" she cries triumphantly.  
-"The joy of the parent, the artist, the craftsman.  "You take a program, 
-born weak and impotent as a dimly-realized solution.  You nurture the 
-program and guide it down the right path, building, watching it grow ever 
-stronger.  Sometimes you paint with tiny strokes, a keystroke added here, 
+	"For the sheer *joy* of programming!" she cries triumphantly.
+"The joy of the parent, the artist, the craftsman.  "You take a program,
+born weak and impotent as a dimly-realized solution.  You nurture the
+program and guide it down the right path, building, watching it grow ever
+stronger.  Sometimes you paint with tiny strokes, a keystroke added here,
 a keystroke changed there."  She sweeps her arm in a wide arc.  "And other
-times you savage whole *blocks* of code, ripping out the program's very 
-*essence*, then beginning anew.  But always building, creating, filling the 
-program with your own personal stamp, your own quirks and nuances.  Watching 
-the program grow stronger, patching it when it crashes, until finally it can 
+times you savage whole *blocks* of code, ripping out the program's very
+*essence*, then beginning anew.  But always building, creating, filling the
+program with your own personal stamp, your own quirks and nuances.  Watching
+the program grow stronger, patching it when it crashes, until finally it can
 stand alone -- proud, powerful, and perfect.  This is the programmer's finest
-hour!"  Softly at first, then louder, he hears the strains of a Sousa march. 
+hour!"  Softly at first, then louder, he hears the strains of a Sousa march.
 "This ... this is your canvas! your clay!  Go forth and create a masterwork!"
 %
 	Obviously the subject of death was in the air, but more as something
@@ -2636,11 +2636,11 @@ wreckage.  "Why don't you look where the hell you're going!"
 dusted himself off.  "And why don't you just wear a wristwatch like a
 normal person?"
 %
-	On the occasion of Nero's 25th birthday, he arrived at the Colosseum 
-to find that the Praetorian Guard had prepared a treat for him in the arena.  
-There stood 25 naked virgins, like candles on a cake, tied to poles, burning 
-alive.  "Wonderful!" exclaimed the deranged emperor, "but one of them isn't 
-dead yet.  I can see her lips moving.  Go quickly and find out what she is 
+	On the occasion of Nero's 25th birthday, he arrived at the Colosseum
+to find that the Praetorian Guard had prepared a treat for him in the arena.
+There stood 25 naked virgins, like candles on a cake, tied to poles, burning
+alive.  "Wonderful!" exclaimed the deranged emperor, "but one of them isn't
+dead yet.  I can see her lips moving.  Go quickly and find out what she is
 saying."
 	The centurion saluted, and hurried out to the virgin, getting as near
 the flames as he dared, and listened intently.  Then he turned and ran back
@@ -2752,8 +2752,8 @@ stepped absentmindedly stepped over the sleeping lion on his way back to his
 car.  Immediately, 1500 policemen converged on him and arrested him for
 transporting a myna across a staid lion for immortal porpoises.
 %
-	Once upon a time there was a beautiful young girl taking a stroll 
-through the woods.  All at once she saw an extremely ugly bull frog seated 
+	Once upon a time there was a beautiful young girl taking a stroll
+through the woods.  All at once she saw an extremely ugly bull frog seated
 on a log and to her amazement the frog spoke to her.  "Maiden," croaked the
 frog, "would you do me a favor?  This will be hard for you to believe, but
 I was once a handsome, charming prince and then a mean, ugly old witch cast
@@ -3086,7 +3086,7 @@ Someone I need.
 	Sam went to his psychiatrist complaining of a hatred for elephants.
 "I can't stand elephants," he explained.  "I lie awake nights despising
 them.  The thought of an elephant fills me with loathing."
-	"Sam," said the psychiatrist, "there's only one thing for you to do.  
+	"Sam," said the psychiatrist, "there's only one thing for you to do.
 Go to Africa, organize a safari, find an elephant in the jungle and shoot it.
 That way you'll get it out of your system."
 	Sam immediately made arrangements for a safari hunt in Africa,
@@ -3095,13 +3095,13 @@ time getting out on the jungle trails.  After they had been hunting for
 several days, Sam's best friend grabbed him by the arm one morning and
 yelled at him:
 	"Sam, Sam, Sam!  Over there behind that tree there's and elephant!
-Sam -- Get your gun -- no, no, not THAT gun -- the rifle with the longer 
+Sam -- Get your gun -- no, no, not THAT gun -- the rifle with the longer
 barrel!  Now aim it!  QUICK!  SAM!  QUICK!  No!  Not that way -- this way!
 Be sure you don't jerk the trigger!  Wait SAM!  Don't let him see you!  Aim
 at his head!"
 	Sam whirled around, took aim, and killed his friend.  He was put in
 prison and his psychiatrist flew to Africa to visit him.  "I sent you over
-here to kill and elephant and instead you shoot your best friend," the 
+here to kill and elephant and instead you shoot your best friend," the
 psychiatrist said.  "Why?"
 	"Well," Sam replied, "there's only one thing in the world that I
 hate more than elephants and that is a loudmouth know-it-all!"
@@ -3122,7 +3122,7 @@ know."
 %
 	"Seven years and six months!"  Humpty Dumpty repeated thoughtfully.
 "An uncomfortable sort of age.  Now if you'd asked MY advice, I'd have
-said 'Leave off at seven' -- but it's too late now."
+said `Leave off at seven' -- but it's too late now."
 	"I never ask advice about growing,"  Alice said indignantly.
 	"Too proud?"  the other enquired.
 	Alice felt even more indignant at this suggestion.  "I mean,"
@@ -3531,11 +3531,11 @@ you know where it might be?"
 in the data center."
 		-- Geoffrey James, "The Tao of Programming"
 %
-	The Martian landed his saucer in Manhattan, and immediately upon 
-emerging was approached by a panhandler.  "Mister," said the man, "can I 
+	The Martian landed his saucer in Manhattan, and immediately upon
+emerging was approached by a panhandler.  "Mister," said the man, "can I
 have a quarter?"
 	The Martian asked, "What's a quarter?"
-	The panhandler thought a minute, brightened, then said, "You're 
+	The panhandler thought a minute, brightened, then said, "You're
 right!  Can I have a dollar?"
 %
 	The master programmer moves from program to program without fear.  No
@@ -3565,16 +3565,16 @@ logically experienced citizens."
 just a case of "uncontained blade liberation."
 		-- Quarterly Review of Doublespeak (NCTE)
 %
-	"...The name of the song is called 'Haddocks' Eyes'!"
+	"...The name of the song is called `Haddocks' Eyes'!"
 	"Oh, that's the name of the song, is it?" Alice said, trying to
 feel interested.
 	"No, you don't understand," the Knight said, looking a little
-vexed.  "That's what the name is called.  The name really is, 'The Aged
+vexed.  "That's what the name is called.  The name really is, `The Aged
 Aged Man.'"
 	"Then I ought to have said "That's what the song is called'?"
 Alice corrected herself.
 	"No, you oughtn't: that's quite another thing!  The song is
-called 'Ways and Means':  but that's only what it is called you know!"
+called `Ways and Means':  but that's only what it is called you know!"
 	"Well, what is the song then?" said Alice, who was by this
 time completely bewildered.
 	"I was coming to that," the Knight said.  "The song really is
@@ -3830,7 +3830,7 @@ you the Widow Miffin?" a small boy asked.
 they're carrying upstairs!"
 %
 	There was a mad scientist (a mad... social... scientist) who kidnapped
-three colleagues, an engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician, and locked 
+three colleagues, an engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician, and locked
 each of them in separate cells with plenty of canned food and water but no
 can opener.
 	A month later, returning, the mad scientist went to the engineer's
@@ -3901,10 +3901,10 @@ spread only for demons or for gods."
 		-- Gordon R. Dickson, "Soldier Ask Not"
 %
 	"They spend years searching for their natural parents, convinced their
-parents will be happy to see them.  I mean, really, can you imagine someone 
+parents will be happy to see them.  I mean, really, can you imagine someone
 being happy to see an orphan?  Nobody wants them... that's why they're orphans!"
 	The speaker is Anne Baker, founder and guiding force behind
-Orphan-Off, an organization dedicated to keeping orphans confused about the 
+Orphan-Off, an organization dedicated to keeping orphans confused about the
 whereabouts of their natural parents.  She is a woman with a mission:
 	"Basically, what we do is band together to exchange information
 about which orphans are looking for which parents in what part of the
@@ -3913,10 +3913,10 @@ country.  We're completely computerized.
 leads as possible.  We'll tell some twenty-three-year-old loser that his
 real parents can be found at a certain address on the other side of the
 country.  Well, by the time the kid shows up, the family is prepared.  They
-look over the kid's photos and information and they say, 'Oh, the Emersons...
+look over the kid's photos and information and they say, `Oh, the Emersons...
 yeah, they used to live here... I think they moved out about five years ago.
 I think they went to Iowa, or maybe Idaho.'
-	"Bam, the door shuts in the kid's face and he's back to zero again.  
+	"Bam, the door shuts in the kid's face and he's back to zero again.
 He's got nothing to go on but the orphan's pathetic determination to continue.
 	"It's really amazing how much these kids will put up with.  Last year
 we even sent one kid all the way to Australia.  I mean, really.  Besides, if
@@ -3988,8 +3988,8 @@ seven dwarfs, she mailed the roll to be developed.  Later she was heard to
 sing, "Some day my prints will come."
 	A boy spent years collecting postage stamps.  The girl next door bought
 an album too, and started her own collection.  "Dad, she buys everything I've
-bought, and it's taken all the fun out of it for me.  I'm quitting."  Don't,
-son, remember, 'Imitation is the sincerest form of philately.'"
+bought, and it's taken all the fun out of it for me.  I'm quitting."  "Don't,
+son, remember, `Imitation is the sincerest form of philately.'"
 	A young girl, Carmen Cohen, was called by her last name by her father,
 and her first name by her mother.  By the time she was ten, didn't know if she
 was Carmen or Cohen.
@@ -4024,13 +4024,13 @@ lawyers insisted.  We tried to ignore them but they threatened us with the
 attack shark at which point we relented.
 		-- Haven Tree Software Limited, "Interactive EasyFlow"
 %
-	"We friends, yes?"  The shoe shine boy put on his hustling smile 
-and looked into the Sailor's dead, cold, undersea eyes, eyes without a 
-trace of warmth or lust or hate or any feeling the boy had experienced 
-in himself or seen in another, at once cold and intense, impersonal and 
-predatory. 
-	The Sailor leaned forward and put a finger on the boy's inner arm 
-at the elbow.  He spoke in his dead junky whisper.  "With veins like that, 
+	"We friends, yes?"  The shoe shine boy put on his hustling smile
+and looked into the Sailor's dead, cold, undersea eyes, eyes without a
+trace of warmth or lust or hate or any feeling the boy had experienced
+in himself or seen in another, at once cold and intense, impersonal and
+predatory.
+	The Sailor leaned forward and put a finger on the boy's inner arm
+at the elbow.  He spoke in his dead junky whisper.  "With veins like that,
 Kid, I'd have myself a time!"
 		-- William Burroughs
 %
@@ -4091,9 +4091,9 @@ destroying Subject-Object by becoming them.
 Nakamura arose, a smile on his face and the light of laughter in his eyes.
 		-- Wayfarer
 %
-	"Well, it's a little rough... it might not be necessary to drag him 40 
-blocks.  Maybe just four.  You could put him in the trunk for the first 36 
-blocks, then haul him out and drag him the last four; that would certainly 
+	"Well, it's a little rough... it might not be necessary to drag him 40
+blocks.  Maybe just four.  You could put him in the trunk for the first 36
+blocks, then haul him out and drag him the last four; that would certainly
 scare the piss out of him, bumping alone the street, feeling all his skin being
 ripped off..."
 	"He'd be a bloody mess.  They might think he was just some drunk and
@@ -4103,14 +4103,14 @@ White House that's open 24 hours a day.  The guards would recognize Colson...
 and by that time of course his wife would have called the cops and reported
 that a bunch of thugs had kidnapped him."
 	"Wouldn't it be a little kinder if you drove about four more blocks
-and stopped at a phone box to ring the hospital and say, 'Would you mind going
+and stopped at a phone box to ring the hospital and say, `Would you mind going
 around to the front of the White House?  There's a naked man lying outside
 in the street, bleeding to death...'"
 	"... and we think it's Mr. Colson."
 	"It would be quite a story for the newspapers, wouldn't it?"
 	"Yeah, I think it's safe to say we'd see some headlines on that one."
 		-- H. Thompson, talking to R. Steadman on C. Colson,
-		ex-Marine captain, now born again, of Watergate fame.
+		   ex-Marine captain, now born again, of Watergate fame.
 %
 	"Well, it's garish, ugly, and derelicts have used it for a toilet.
 The rides are dilapidated to the point of being lethal, and could easily
@@ -4205,7 +4205,7 @@ fantasies?"
 	"You keep it to yourself."
 		-- Broadcast News
 %
-	"What do you give a man who has everything?" the pretty teenager 
+	"What do you give a man who has everything?" the pretty teenager
 asked her mother.
 	"Encouragement, dear," she replied.
 %
@@ -4248,8 +4248,8 @@ questioned as to whether this indicated a change of his hitherto "liberal"
 political views.
 	"Well," explained Cotton, "it's like the New Hampshire farmer.  He was
 driving along in his car one day with his wife beside him when his wife said,
-'Why don't we sit closer together?  Before we were married, we always sat
-closer together.'  The old farmer replied, 'I ain't moved.'"
+`Why don't we sit closer together?  Before we were married, we always sat
+closer together.'  The old farmer replied, `I ain't moved.'"
 	"I ain't moved," added Cotton.  "I found the trend of Government has
 moved farther to the left."
 		-- Bill Adler, "The Washington Wits"
@@ -4293,7 +4293,7 @@ Piglet.
 	Pooh nodded thoughtfully.  "It's the same thing," he said.
 %
 	While hunting, a man saw a beautiful nude woman come running out of
-the woods and disappear across the clearing.  Just as she got out of sight, 
+the woods and disappear across the clearing.  Just as she got out of sight,
 three men dressed in white uniforms came running out of the same woods.
 "Hey, you," yelled one of them, "did you see a woman come by here?"
 	"Yes," replied the hunter.  "What's the trouble?"
@@ -4399,7 +4399,7 @@ There, that ought to patch it.  Dist it out, wouldja?"
 	"You have heard me speak of Professor Moriarty?"
 	"The famous scientific criminal, as famous among crooks as --"
 	"My blushes, Watson," Holmes murmured, in a deprecating voice.  "I
-was about to say 'as he is unknown to the public.'"
+was about to say `as he is unknown to the public.'"
 		-- A. Conan Doyle, "The Valley of Fear"
 %
 	"You know, it's at times like this when I'm trapped in a Vogon
@@ -4422,13 +4422,13 @@ and you may feel free to kick his ass."
 		-- Tom Robbins, "Jitterbug Perfume"
 %
 	"You say there are two types of people?"
-	"Yes, those who separate people into two groups and those that 
+	"Yes, those who separate people into two groups and those that
 don't."
 	"Wrong.  There are three groups:
 		Those who separate people into three groups.
 		Those who don't separate people into groups.
 		Those who can't decide."
-	"Wait a minute, what about people who separate people into 
+	"Wait a minute, what about people who separate people into
 two groups?"
 	"Oh.  Okay, then there are four groups."
 	"Aren't you then separating people into four groups?"
@@ -4559,7 +4559,7 @@ man.
 
 Set the variable $LOSERS to all the people that you think are losers.  This
 will cause all said losers to have the variable $PEOPLE-WHO-THINK-I-AM-A-LOSER
-updated in their .login file.  Should you attempt to execute a job on a 
+updated in their .login file.  Should you attempt to execute a job on a
 machine with poor response time and a machine on your local net is currently
 populated by losers, that machine will be freed up for your job through a
 cold boot process.
@@ -4569,7 +4569,7 @@ cold boot process.
 A new system, the CIRCULATORY system, has been added.
 
 The long-experimental CIRCULATORY system has been released to users.  The
-Lisp Machine uses Type B fluid, the L machine uses Type A fluid.  When the 
+Lisp Machine uses Type B fluid, the L machine uses Type A fluid.  When the
 switch to Common Lisp occurs both machines will, of course, be Type O.
 Please check fluid level by using the DIP stick which is located in the
 back of VMI monitors.  Unchecked low fluid levels can cause poor paging
@@ -4591,22 +4591,22 @@ please communicate them by one of the following paths:
 	For that personal contact feeling call 1-415-642-4948; our trained
 	operators are on call 24 hours a day.  VISA/MC accepted.*
 
-* Our very rich lawyers have assured us that we are not 
+* Our very rich lawyers have assured us that we are not
   responsible for any errors or advice given over the phone.
 %
 ===  ALL USERS PLEASE NOTE  ========================
 
 CAR and CDR now return extra values.
 
-The function CAR now returns two values.  Since it has to go to the trouble 
-to figure out if the object is carcdr-able anyway, we figured you might as 
-well get both halves at once.  For example, the following code shows how to 
+The function CAR now returns two values.  Since it has to go to the trouble
+to figure out if the object is carcdr-able anyway, we figured you might as
+well get both halves at once.  For example, the following code shows how to
 destructure a cons (SOME-CONS) into its two slots (THE-CAR and THE-CDR):
 
 	(MULTIPLE-VALUE-BIND (THE-CAR THE-CDR) (CAR SOME-CONS) ...)
 
 For symmetry with CAR, CDR returns a second value which is the CAR of the
-object.  In a related change, the functions MAKE-ARRAY and CONS have been 
+object.  In a related change, the functions MAKE-ARRAY and CONS have been
 fixed so they don't allocate any storage except on the stack.  This should
 hopefully help people who don't like using the garbage collector because
 it cold boots the machine so often.
@@ -4647,16 +4647,16 @@ messages (such as IEC703, "disk error") and allows you to dequeue your job.
 %
 ===  ALL USERS PLEASE NOTE  ========================
 
-The garbage collector now works.  In addition a new, experimental garbage 
+The garbage collector now works.  In addition a new, experimental garbage
 collection algorithm has been installed.  With SI:%DSK-GC-QLX-BITS set to 17,
-(NOT the default) the old garbage collection algorithm remains in force; when 
+(NOT the default) the old garbage collection algorithm remains in force; when
 virtual storage is filled, the machine cold boots itself.  With SI:%DSK-GC-
 QLX-BITS set to 23, the new garbage collector is enabled.  Unlike most garbage
-collectors, the new gc starts its mark phase from the mind of the user, rather 
-than from the obarray.  This allows the garbage collection of significantly 
+collectors, the new gc starts its mark phase from the mind of the user, rather
+than from the obarray.  This allows the garbage collection of significantly
 more Qs.  As the garbage collector runs, it may ask you something like "Do you
 remember what SI:RDTBL-TRANS does?", and if you can't give a reasonable answer
-in thirty seconds, the symbol becomes a candidate for GCing.  The variable 
+in thirty seconds, the symbol becomes a candidate for GCing.  The variable
 SI:%GC-QLX-LUSER-TM governs how long the GC waits before timing out the user.
 %
 ===  ALL USERS PLEASE NOTE  ========================
@@ -4681,10 +4681,10 @@ We hope this clears up the many questions we've had about it.
 %
 ****  CONVENTION REMINDER
 
-No experiment was approved for the convention by the Human Subjects 
-Committee of the Psychiatric Convention Planning Team.  If you notice 
-smoke coming from under a closed door, if you find a body on the hotel 
-carpet, or if you just meet someone who orders you to press a button 
+No experiment was approved for the convention by the Human Subjects
+Committee of the Psychiatric Convention Planning Team.  If you notice
+smoke coming from under a closed door, if you find a body on the hotel
+carpet, or if you just meet someone who orders you to press a button
 marked "450 volts", react as you would normally.
 %
 ****  GROWTH CENTER REPAIR SERVICE
@@ -4761,7 +4761,7 @@ that he didn't force you down on the asking price.
 
 To minimize scheduling confusion, please realize that if you are taking one
 course which is offered at only one time on a given day, and another which is
-offered at all times on that day, the second class will be arranged as to 
+offered at all times on that day, the second class will be arranged as to
 afford maximum inconvenience to the student.  For example, if you happen
 to work on campus, you will have 1-2 hours between classes.  If you commute,
 there will be a minimum of 6 hours between the two classes.
@@ -4793,7 +4793,7 @@ astray by hunting and pecking.
 inveterate skeptic I have closed my mind to the truth.  Most notably I have
 ignored the evidence for an Earth that is six thousand years old.  Well, I
 haven't ignored it; I considered the purported evidence and *then* rejected
-it.  There is a difference, and this is a difference, we might say, between 
+it.  There is a difference, and this is a difference, we might say, between
 prejudice and postjudice.  Prejudice is making a judgment before you have
 looked at the facts.  Postjudice is making a judgment afterwards.  Prejudice
 is terrible, in the sense that you commit injustices and you make serious
@@ -4916,7 +4916,7 @@ hypothesis of an extremely low order of probability.
 found and thy program runneth.  And he that was dead came forth...
 		-- John 11:43-44
 %
-"... like, what do they mean when they say 'feminine protection'?
+"... like, what do they mean when they say `feminine protection'?
 What's that?  A chartreuse flamethrower?"
 		-- Opus
 %
@@ -5000,21 +5000,21 @@ dangerous development, although clearly it is what they wanted all along.
 %
 ***** Special AI Seminar (abstract)
 
-It has been widely recognized that AI programs require expert knowledge 
+It has been widely recognized that AI programs require expert knowledge
 in order to perform well in complex domains.  But knowledge alone is not
-sufficient for some applications; wisdom is needed as well.  Accordingly, 
-we have developed a new approach to artificial intelligence which we call 
-"wisdom engineering".  As a test of our ideas, we have written IMMANUEL, a 
-wisdom based system for the task domain of western philosophical thought.  
-IMMANUEL was supplied initially with 200 wisdom units which contained wisdom 
-about such elementary concepts as mind, matter, being, nothingness, and so 
-forth.  IMMANUEL was then allowed to run freely, guided by the heuristic 
-rules contained in its heterarchically organized meta wisdom base.  IMMANUEL 
-succeeded in rediscovering most of the important philosophical ideas developed 
-in western culture over the course of the last 25 centuries, including those 
+sufficient for some applications; wisdom is needed as well.  Accordingly,
+we have developed a new approach to artificial intelligence which we call
+"wisdom engineering".  As a test of our ideas, we have written IMMANUEL, a
+wisdom based system for the task domain of western philosophical thought.
+IMMANUEL was supplied initially with 200 wisdom units which contained wisdom
+about such elementary concepts as mind, matter, being, nothingness, and so
+forth.  IMMANUEL was then allowed to run freely, guided by the heuristic
+rules contained in its heterarchically organized meta wisdom base.  IMMANUEL
+succeeded in rediscovering most of the important philosophical ideas developed
+in western culture over the course of the last 25 centuries, including those
 underlying Plato's theory of government, Kant's metaphysics, Nietzsche's theory
-of value, and Husserl's phenomenology.  In this seminar, we will describe 
-IMMANUEL's achievements and internal architecture.  We will also briefly 
+of value, and Husserl's phenomenology.  In this seminar, we will describe
+IMMANUEL's achievements and internal architecture.  We will also briefly
 discuss our recent efforts to apply wisdom engineering to oil exploration.
 %
 -- THE BATES MOTEL --
@@ -5099,7 +5099,7 @@ established as our planet's shape and position.  Our continuing struggle
 to understand how evolution happens (the "theory of evolution") does not
 cast our documentation of its occurrence -- the "fact of evolution" --
 into doubt.
-		-- Stephen Jay Gould, "The Verdict on Creationism", 
+		-- Stephen Jay Gould, "The Verdict on Creationism",
 		   The Skeptical Inquirer, Vol. XII No. 2.
 %
 ... when fits of creativity run strong, more than one programmer or writer
@@ -5459,15 +5459,15 @@ that the animal is going somewhere.
 A book is the work of a mind, doing its work in the way that a mind deems
 best.  That's dangerous.  Is the work of some mere individual mind likely to
 serve the aims of collectively accepted compromises, which are known in the
-schools as 'standards'?  Any mind that would audaciously put itself forth to
+schools as "standards"?  Any mind that would audaciously put itself forth to
 work all alone is surely a bad example for the students, and probably, if
 not downright antisocial, at least a little off-center, self-indulgent,
 elitist.  ... It's just good pedagogy, therefore, to stay away from such
 stuff, and use instead, if film-strips and rap-sessions must be
-supplemented, 'texts,' selected, or prepared, or adapted, by real
-professionals.  Those texts are called 'reading material.'  They are the
-academic equivalent of the 'listening material' that fills waiting-rooms,
-and the 'eating material' that you can buy in thousands of convenient eating
+supplemented, "texts," selected, or prepared, or adapted, by real
+professionals.  Those texts are called "reading material."  They are the
+academic equivalent of the "listening material" that fills waiting-rooms,
+and the "eating material" that you can buy in thousands of convenient eating
 resource centers along the roads.
 		-- The Underground Grammarian
 %
@@ -5549,18 +5549,18 @@ does not prove anything.
 A certain amount of opposition is a help, not a hindrance.
 Kites rise against the wind, not with it.
 %
-A certain monk had a habit of pestering the Grand Tortue (the only one who 
-had ever reached the Enlightenment 'Yond Enlightenment), by asking whether 
-various objects had Buddha-nature or not.  To such a question Tortue 
-invariably sat silent.  The monk had already asked about a bean, a lake, 
-and a moonlit night.  One day he brought to Tortue a piece of string, and 
-asked the same question.  In reply, the Grand Tortue grasped the loop 
-between his feet and, with a few simple manipulations, created a complex 
-string which he proffered wordlessly to the monk.  At that moment, the monk 
-was enlightened. 
-
-From then on, the monk did not bother Tortue.  Instead, he made string after 
-string by Tortue's method; and he passed the method on to his own disciples, 
+A certain monk had a habit of pestering the Grand Tortue (the only one who
+had ever reached the Enlightenment 'Yond Enlightenment), by asking whether
+various objects had Buddha-nature or not.  To such a question Tortue
+invariably sat silent.  The monk had already asked about a bean, a lake,
+and a moonlit night.  One day he brought to Tortue a piece of string, and
+asked the same question.  In reply, the Grand Tortue grasped the loop
+between his feet and, with a few simple manipulations, created a complex
+string which he proffered wordlessly to the monk.  At that moment, the monk
+was enlightened.
+
+From then on, the monk did not bother Tortue.  Instead, he made string after
+string by Tortue's method; and he passed the method on to his own disciples,
 who passed it on to theirs.
 %
 A certain old cat had made his home in the alley behind Gabe's bar for some
@@ -5579,10 +5579,10 @@ go on to the kitty afterworld complete.
 the law -- no retailing spirits after 2:00 AM."
 %
 A Chicago salesman was about to check into a St. Louis hotel when he noticed
-a very charming woman staring admiringly at him.  He walked over and spoke 
+a very charming woman staring admiringly at him.  He walked over and spoke
 with her for a few minutes, then returned to the front desk, where they checked
 in as Mr. and Mrs.
-	After a very pleasurable three-day stay, the man approached the front 
+	After a very pleasurable three-day stay, the man approached the front
 desk and told the clerk he was checking out.  In a few minutes, he was handed
 a bill for $2500.
 	"There must be some mistake," the salesman said.  "I've been here for
@@ -5799,7 +5799,7 @@ is high.  San Salvador is closer to Saigon than to Munich.
 A Difficulty for Every Solution.
 		-- Motto of the Federal Civil Service
 %
-A diplomat is a man who can tell you to 
+A diplomat is a man who can tell you to
 go to hell and make the trip sound pleasurable.
 		-- Samuel Clemens
 %
@@ -5981,7 +5981,7 @@ A full belly makes a dull brain.
 
 		[and the local candy machine man.  Ed]
 %
-A 'full' life in my experience is usually full only of other
+A "full" life in my experience is usually full only of other
 people's demands.
 %
 A furore Normanorum libera nos, O Domine!
@@ -5995,7 +5995,7 @@ assembled guys had the job of assuring that the gangster's horse would win.
 They were to reconvene the day before the race to tell the gangster how they
 each propose to ensure a win.  When they reconvened the gangster started with
 the engineer:
-	
+
 Gangster: OK, Mr. engineer, what have you got?
 Engineer: Well, I've invented a way to weave metallic threads into the saddle
 	  blanket so that they will act as the plates of a battery and provide
@@ -6005,7 +6005,7 @@ Chemist:  I've synthesized a powerful stimulant that dissolves
 	  into simple blood sugars after ten minutes and therefore
 	  cannot be detected in post-race tests.
 G:	  Excellent, excellent!  But I want to hear from the physicist before
-	  I decide what to do.  Physicist?  
+	  I decide what to do.  Physicist?
 
 Physicist: Well, first consider a spherical horse in simple harmonic motion...
 %
@@ -6254,7 +6254,7 @@ A kind of Batman of contemporary letters.
 %
 A king's castle is his home.
 %
-A kiss is a course of procedure, cunningly devised, 
+A kiss is a course of procedure, cunningly devised,
 for the mutual stoppage of speech at a moment when
 words are superfluous.
 %
@@ -6520,7 +6520,7 @@ some basic instructions, they agreed to separate and rendezvous later.  Before
 he left, he warned her if she should fell a deer to be wary of hunters who
 might beat her to the carcass and claim the kill.  If that happened, he told
 her, she should fire her gun three times into the air and he would come to
-her aid.  
+her aid.
 	Shortly after they separated, he heard a single shot, followed quickly
 by the agreed upon signal.  Running to the scene, he found his wife standing
 in a small clearing with a very nervous man staring down her gun barrel.
@@ -6719,9 +6719,9 @@ ABOUT COLEMAN STOVES?"
 A new taste had been acquired and a new appetite began to grow.  The time
 had long since arrived to crush the technical intelligentsia, which had
 come to regard itself as too irreplaceable and had not gotten used to
-catching instructions on the wing.  In other words, we never did trust 
+catching instructions on the wing.  In other words, we never did trust
 the engineers - and from the very first years of the Revolution we saw to
-it that those lackeys and servants of former capitalist bosses were kept 
+it that those lackeys and servants of former capitalist bosses were kept
 in line by healthy suspicion and surveillance by the workers.
 		-- Aleksandr I. Solzhenitsyn, "The Gulag Archipelago"
 %
@@ -6862,7 +6862,7 @@ gets out and goes into the office.
 	"I need some four-by-two's," he says.
 	"You must mean two-by-four's" replies the clerk.
 	The man scratches his head.  "Wait a minute," he says, "I'll go
-check." 
+check."
 	Back, after an animated conversation with the other occupants of the
 truck, he reassures the clerk, that, yes, in fact, two-by-fours would be
 acceptable.
@@ -6878,7 +6878,7 @@ and a fool something to stick in his mouth.
 %
 A place for everything and everything in its place.
 		-- Isabella Mary Beeton, "The Book of Household Management"
- 
+
 	[Quoted in "VMS Internals and Data Structures", V4.4, when
 	 referring to memory management system services.]
 %
@@ -6932,7 +6932,7 @@ of yours to press against my heart.
 %
 A pretty woman can do anything; an ugly woman must do everything.
 %
-A priest advised Voltaire on his death bed to renounce the devil. 
+A priest advised Voltaire on his death bed to renounce the devil.
 Replied Voltaire, "This is no time to make new enemies."
 %
 A prig is a fellow who is always making you a present of his opinions.
@@ -7032,7 +7032,7 @@ A robin redbreast in a cage
 Puts all Heaven in a rage.
 		-- Blake
 %
-A rock pile ceases to be a rock pile the moment a single 
+A rock pile ceases to be a rock pile the moment a single
 man contemplates it, bearing within him the image of a cathedral.
 		-- Antoine de Saint-Exupery
 %
@@ -7304,19 +7304,19 @@ A thing is not necessarily true because a man dies for it.
 A traveling salesman was driving past a farm when he saw a pig with three
 wooden legs executing a magnificent series of backflips and cartwheels.
 Intrigued, he drove up to the farmhouse, where he found an old farmer
-sitting in the yard watching the pig.  
-	"That's quite a pig you have there, sir" said the salesman. 
+sitting in the yard watching the pig.
+	"That's quite a pig you have there, sir" said the salesman.
 	"Sure is, son," the farmer replied.  "Why, two years ago, my daughter
 was swimming in the lake and bumped her head and damned near drowned, but that
 pig swam out and dragged her back to shore."
 	"Amazing!"  the salesman exclaimed.
 	"And that's not the only thing.  Last fall I was cuttin' wood up on
-the north forty when a tree fell on me.  Pinned me to the ground, it did.  
+the north forty when a tree fell on me.  Pinned me to the ground, it did.
 That pig run up and wiggled underneath that tree and lifted it off of me.
 Saved my life."
 	"Fantastic!  the salesman said.  But tell me, how come the pig has
 three wooden legs?"
-	The farmer stared at the newcomer in amazement.  "Mister, when you 
+	The farmer stared at the newcomer in amazement.  "Mister, when you
 got an amazin' pig like that, you don't eat him all at once."
 %
 A true artist will let his wife starve, his children go barefoot, his mother
@@ -7366,7 +7366,7 @@ A wife lasts only for the length of the marriage, but an ex-wife is there
 A wise man can see more from a mountain top
 than a fool can from the bottom of a well.
 %
-A wise man can see more from the bottom 
+A wise man can see more from the bottom
 of a well than a fool can from a mountain top.
 %
 A wise person makes his own decisions, a weak one obeys public opinion.
@@ -7570,11 +7570,11 @@ ABSCOND:
 	To be unexpectedly called away to the bedside
 	of a dying relative and miss the return train.
 %
-abscond, v:  
+abscond, v:
 	To be unexpectedly called away to the bedside of a dying relative
-	and miss the return train. 
+	and miss the return train.
 %
-Absence diminishes mediocre passions and increases 
+Absence diminishes mediocre passions and increases
 great ones, as the wind blows out candles and fans fires.
 		-- La Rochefoucauld
 %
@@ -7662,7 +7662,7 @@ and a void.
 According to the Rand McNally Places-Rated Almanac, the best place to live in
 America is the city of Pittsburgh.  The city of New York came in twenty-fifth.
 Here in New York we really don't care too much. Because we know that we could
-beat up their city anytime. 
+beat up their city anytime.
 		-- David Letterman
 %
 Acquaintance, n:
@@ -7753,7 +7753,7 @@ intelligence long enough to get money from it.
 %
 Advertising Rule:
 	In writing a patent-medicine advertisement, first convince the
-	reader that he has the disease he is reading about; secondly, 
+	reader that he has the disease he is reading about; secondly,
 	that it is curable.
 %
 Advice from an old carpenter: measure twice, saw once.
@@ -7837,7 +7837,7 @@ Just because it perished?
 After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the
 month than you did before.
 %
-After his legs had been broken in an accident, Mr. Miller sued for damages, 
+After his legs had been broken in an accident, Mr. Miller sued for damages,
 claiming that he was crippled and would have to spend the rest of his life
 in a wheelchair.  Although the insurance-company doctor testified that his
 bones had healed properly and that he was fully capable  of walking, the
@@ -7886,7 +7886,7 @@ charge, but was talked out of this by Millikan.
 		-- Steven Weinberg, "The Discovery of Subatomic Particles"
 
 Robert Millikan is generally credited with making the first really
-precise measurement of the charge on an electron and was awarded the 
+precise measurement of the charge on an electron and was awarded the
 Nobel Prize in 1923.
 %
 After two or three weeks of this madness, you begin to feel As One with
@@ -7938,7 +7938,7 @@ Agnes' Law:
 %
 Agree with them now, it will save so much time.
 %
-Ah, but a man's grasp should exceed his reach, 
+Ah, but a man's grasp should exceed his reach,
 Or what's a heaven for ?
 		-- Robert Browning, "Andrea del Sarto"
 %
@@ -8099,7 +8099,7 @@ ya don't go lookin' for rutabagas.
 		-- Kingfish
 %
 All I know is what the words know, and dead things, and that
-makes a handsome little sum, with a beginning and a middle and 
+makes a handsome little sum, with a beginning and a middle and
 an end, as in the well-built phrase and the long sonata of the dead.
 		-- Samuel Beckett
 %
@@ -8229,7 +8229,7 @@ All that glitters is not gold; all that wander are not lost.
 All that is gold does not glitter,
 Not all those who wander are lost;
 The old that is strong does not wither,
-Deep roots are not reached by the frost. 
+Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
 From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
 A light from the shadows shall spring;
 Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
@@ -8344,9 +8344,9 @@ Although it is still a truism in industry that "no one was ever fired for
 buying IBM," Bill O'Neil, the chief technology officer at Drexel Burnham
 Lambert, says he knows for a fact that someone has been fired for just that
 reason.  He knows it because he fired the guy.
-	"He made a bad decision, and what it came down to was, 'Well, I
+	"He made a bad decision, and what it came down to was, `Well, I
 bought it because I figured it was safe to buy IBM,'"  Mr. O'Neil says.
-"I said, 'No.  Wrong.  Game over.  Next contestant, please.'"
+"I said, `No.  Wrong.  Game over.  Next contestant, please.'"
 		-- The Wall Street Journal, December 6, 1989
 %
 Always do right.  This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
@@ -8356,7 +8356,7 @@ Always draw your curves, then plot your reading.
 %
 Always leave room to add an explanation if it doesn't work out.
 %
-Always run from a knife and rush a gun.	
+Always run from a knife and rush a gun.
 		-- Jimmy Hoffa
 %
 Always store beer in a dark place.
@@ -8457,7 +8457,7 @@ An actor's a guy who if you ain't talkin' about him, ain't listening.
 		-- Marlon Brando
 %
 An Ada exception is when a routine gets
-in trouble and says 'Beam me up, Scotty'.
+in trouble and says `Beam me up, Scotty'.
 %
 An adequate bootstrap is a contradiction in terms.
 %
@@ -8472,7 +8472,7 @@ An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.
 An algorithm must be seen to be believed.
 		-- D.E. Knuth
 %
-An ambassador is an honest man sent abroad 
+An ambassador is an honest man sent abroad
 to lie and intrigue for the benefit of his country.
 		-- Sir Henry Wotton, 1568-1639
 %
@@ -8556,8 +8556,8 @@ An editor is one who separates the wheat from the chaff and prints the chaff.
 %
 An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
 %
-An efficient and a successful administration manifests 
-itself equally in small as in great matters.  
+An efficient and a successful administration manifests
+itself equally in small as in great matters.
 		-- W. Churchill
 %
 An egghead is one who stands firmly on both feet,
@@ -8755,7 +8755,7 @@ And he climbed with the lad up the Eiffelberg Tower.  "This," cried the Mayor,
 to come to the aid of their country!" he said.  "We've GOT to make noises in
 greater amounts!  So, open your mouth, lad!  For every voice counts!"  Thus he
 spoke as he climbed.  When they got to the top, the lad cleared his throat and
-he shouted out, "YOPP!" 
+he shouted out, "YOPP!"
 	And that Yopp...  That one last small, extra Yopp put it over!
 Finally, at last!  From the speck on that clover their voices were heard!
 They rang out clear and clean.  And they elephant smiled.  "Do you see what
@@ -8978,7 +8978,7 @@ Modern fairy tale: Oswald, acting alone, shot Kennedy.
 %
 Anti-trust laws should be approached with exactly that attitude.
 %
-Antonio Antonio 
+Antonio Antonio
 Was tired of living alonio
 He thought he would woo			Antonio Antonio
 Miss Lucamy Lu,				Rode of on his polo ponio
@@ -9093,7 +9093,7 @@ person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose
 and in the right way -- that is not easy.
 		-- Aristotle
 %
-"Anyone can say 'no'. It is the first word a child learns and often the
+"Anyone can say `no'. It is the first word a child learns and often the
 first word he speaks. It is a cheap word because it requires no
 explanation, and many men and women have acquired a reputation for
 intelligence who know only this word and have used it in place of
@@ -9108,7 +9108,7 @@ bathe and not make messes in the house.
 		-- Lazarus Long
 %
 Anyone who considers protocol unimportant has never dealt with a cat.
-		-- R. Heinlein 
+		-- R. Heinlein
 %
 Anyone who has attended a USENIX conference in a fancy hotel can tell you
 that a sentence like "You're one of those computer people, aren't you?"
@@ -9515,8 +9515,8 @@ images may be tolerated by the luxurious cults, but the true IBM faith relies
 on the austerity of the word.
 		-- Edward Mendelson, "The New Republic", February 22, 1988
 %
-As long as there are ill-defined goals, bizarre bugs, and unrealistic 
-schedules, there will be Real Programmers willing to jump in and Solve 
+As long as there are ill-defined goals, bizarre bugs, and unrealistic
+schedules, there will be Real Programmers willing to jump in and Solve
 The Problem, saving the documentation for later.
 %
 As many of you know, I am taking a class here at UNC on Personality.
@@ -9629,7 +9629,7 @@ or putatively less buggy.  The replacement of a working component by a new
 version requires the same systematic testing procedure that adding a new
 component does, although it should require less time, for more complete and
 efficient test cases will usually be available.
-		-- Frederick Brooks Jr., "The Mythical Man Month" 
+		-- Frederick Brooks Jr., "The Mythical Man Month"
 %
 As to Jesus of Nazareth... I think the system of Morals and his Religion,
 as he left them to us, the best the World ever saw or is likely to see;
@@ -9873,7 +9873,7 @@ the good old days) made up the term "octalthorpe" (note spelling) to denote
 the "pound sign."  Presumably because it has 8 points sticking out.  It
 never really caught on.
 %
-Back when I was a boy, it was 40 miles to everywhere, 
+Back when I was a boy, it was 40 miles to everywhere,
 uphill both ways and it was always snowing.
 %
 Back when I was a boy, it was 40 miles to everywhere, uphill both ways
@@ -10208,7 +10208,7 @@ after they got done, you wanted to be transferred here. Why?"
 	"The nurses? The food?" asked Fats, but Bernard shook his head no.
 Fats laughed and said, "Listen , Bernie, you went to the MBH, they did this
 great workup, and when I asked you shy you came to the House of God, all you
-tell me is, 'Nah, I can't complain.'  So why did you come here?  Why, Bernie,
+tell me is, `Nah, I can't complain.'  So why did you come here?  Why, Bernie,
 why?"
 	"Vhy I come heah?  Vell, said Bernie, "Heah I can complain."
 		-- House of God
@@ -10770,8 +10770,8 @@ But Officer, I stopped for the last one, and it was green!
 %
 But sex and drugs and rock & roll, why, they'd bring our blackest day.
 %
-But since I knew now that I could hope for nothing of greater value than 
-frivolous pleasures, what point was there in denying myself of them?  
+But since I knew now that I could hope for nothing of greater value than
+frivolous pleasures, what point was there in denying myself of them?
 		-- M. Proust
 %
 But these pills can't be habit forming;
@@ -11489,7 +11489,7 @@ the characteristics of hardware; software engineering should deal with the
 characteristics of *software*, and not with hardware or management.
 		-- Dan Klein
 %
-COMPASS [for the CDC-6000 series] is the sort of assembler 
+COMPASS [for the CDC-6000 series] is the sort of assembler
 one expects from a corporation whose president codes in octal.
 		-- J.N. Gray
 %
@@ -11553,7 +11553,7 @@ Conceit causes more conversation than wit.
 %
 Conceptual integrity in turn dictates that the design must proceed
 from one mind, or from a very small number of agreeing resonant minds.
-		-- Frederick Brooks Jr., "The Mythical Man Month" 
+		-- Frederick Brooks Jr., "The Mythical Man Month"
 %
 CONFERENCE:
 	A special meeting in which the boss gathers subordinates to hear
@@ -11730,9 +11730,9 @@ Correspondence Corollary:
 Corry's Law:
 	Paper is always strongest at the perforations.
 %
-Couldn't we jury-rig the cat to act as an audio switch, and have it yell 
-at people to save their core images before logging them out?  I'm sure 
-the cattle prod would be effective in this regard.  In any case, a traverse 
+Couldn't we jury-rig the cat to act as an audio switch, and have it yell
+at people to save their core images before logging them out?  I'm sure
+the cattle prod would be effective in this regard.  In any case, a traverse
 mounted iguana, while more perverted, gives better traction, not to mention
 being easier to stake.
 %
@@ -12208,7 +12208,7 @@ Deflector shields just came on, Captain.
 	(t (append (list (implode (nf a (car c)))) (nf a (cdr c))))))
 
 (defun AD (want-job challenging boston-area)
-  (cond 
+  (cond
    ((or (not (equal want-job 'yes))
 	(not (equal boston-area 'yes))
 	(lessp challenging 7)) () )
@@ -12231,10 +12231,10 @@ Delay is preferable to error.
 %
 Delay not, Caesar.  Read it instantly.
 		-- Shakespeare, "Julius Caesar" 3,1
- 
+
 Here is a letter, read it at your leisure.
 		-- Shakespeare, "Merchant of Venice" 5,1
- 
+
 	[Quoted in "VMS Internals and Data Structures", V4.4, when
 	 referring to I/O system services.]
 %
@@ -12960,7 +12960,7 @@ Scarecrow:	Well, I don't know... but some people
 %
 Double!
 %
-Doubt is a not a pleasant mental state, but certainty is a ridiculous one.  
+Doubt is a not a pleasant mental state, but certainty is a ridiculous one.
 		-- Voltaire
 %
 Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd.
@@ -13057,7 +13057,7 @@ that is all there is to distinguish us from the other animals.
 %
 Driving in Texas is simple.  For the first 100 miles you swerve to
 avoid jackrabbits.  For the second 100 miles you hit whatever
-jackrabbits get in the way.  After that you chase off into the 
+jackrabbits get in the way.  After that you chase off into the
 brush after them.
 %
 Driving through a Swiss city one day, Alfred Hitchcock suddenly pointed out
@@ -13585,7 +13585,7 @@ Therefore fire engines are red.
 %
 Ever wondered about the origins of the term "bugs" as applied to computer
 technology?  U.S. Navy Capt. Grace Murray Hopper has firsthand explanation.
-The 74-year-old captain, who is still on active duty, was a pioneer in 
+The 74-year-old captain, who is still on active duty, was a pioneer in
 computer technology during World War II.  At the C.W. Post Center of Long
 Island University, Hopper told a group of Long Island public school adminis-
 trators that the first computer "bug" was a real bug--a moth.  At Harvard
@@ -13708,7 +13708,7 @@ Every silver lining has a cloud around it.
 Every Solidarity center had piles and piles of paper ... everyone was
 eating paper and a policeman was at the door.  Now all you have to do is
 bend a disk.
-		-- A member of the outlawed Polish trade union, Solidarity, 
+		-- A member of the outlawed Polish trade union, Solidarity,
 		   commenting on the benefits of using computers in support
 		   of their movement.
 %
@@ -13890,7 +13890,7 @@ doubt it, it is customary for scientists to call it a fact.  That all present
 life descended from earlier forms, over vast stretches of geologic time, is
 as firmly established as Copernican cosmology.  Biologists differ only with
 respect to theories about how the process operates.
-		-- Martin Gardner, "Irving Kristol and the Facts of Life". 
+		-- Martin Gardner, "Irving Kristol and the Facts of Life".
 %
 Examinations are formidable even to the best prepared, for even
 the greatest fool may ask more than the wisest man can answer.
@@ -14151,7 +14151,7 @@ I nonetheless consider you a true and valued friend.
 Fellow programmer, greetings!  You are reading a letter which will bring
 you luck and good fortune.  Just mail (or UUCP) ten copies of this letter
 to ten of your friends.  Before you make the copies, send a chip or
-other bit of hardware, and 100 lines of 'C' code to the first person on the
+other bit of hardware, and 100 lines of "C" code to the first person on the
 list given at the bottom of this letter.  Then delete their name and add
 yours to the bottom of the list.
 
@@ -14510,7 +14510,7 @@ was a gate.
 
 	[Quoted in "VMS Internals and Data Structures", V4.4, when
 	 referring to system overview.]
- 
+
 %
 For the first time we have a weapon that nobody has used for thirty years.
 This gives me great hope for the human race.
@@ -14567,7 +14567,7 @@ protected species.
 	  8 oz. shredded suet
 	  2 small onions
 	1/2 teaspoonful black pepper
-    
+
 	Scrape and clean bag in cold, then warm, water.  Soak in salt water
 overnight.  Wash pluck, then boil for 2 hours with windpipe draining over
 the side of pot.  Retain 1 pint of stock.  Cut off windpipe, remove surplus
@@ -14725,7 +14725,7 @@ Shoes:
 	 The average man has 4 pairs of footwear: running shoes, dress shoes,
 boots, and slippers.  The average woman has shoes 4 layers thick on the floor
 of her closet.  Most of them hurt her feet.
- 
+
 Making friends:
 	 A woman will meet another woman with common interests, do a few things
 together, and say something like, "I hope we can be good friends."
@@ -14782,7 +14782,7 @@ of his friends.  He will tell all his friends about his own affairs, though,
 so they can be ready if he needs an alibi.
 
 Driving:
- 
+
 	A typical man thinks he's Mario Andretti as soon as he slips behind
 the wheel of his car.  The fact that it's an 8-year-old Honda doesn't keep
 him from trying to out-accelerate the guy in the Porsche who's attempting
@@ -15463,7 +15463,7 @@ Frankly, Scarlett, I don't have a fix.
 Fraud is the homage that force pays to reason.
 		-- Charles Curtis, "A Commonplace Book"
 %
-Free Speech Is The Right To Shout 'Theater' In A Crowded Fire.
+Free Speech Is The Right To Shout "Theater" In A Crowded Fire.
 		-- A Yippie Proverb
 %
 Freedom begins when you tell Mrs. Grundy to go fly a kite.
@@ -15512,7 +15512,7 @@ your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
 From 0 to "what seems to be the problem officer" in 8.3 seconds.
 		-- Ad for the new VW Corrado
 %
-From a certain point onward there is no longer any turning back. 
+From a certain point onward there is no longer any turning back.
 That is the point that must be reached.
 		-- F. Kafka
 %
@@ -16086,7 +16086,7 @@ gossip, n:
 	Hearing something you like about someone you don't.
 		-- Earl Wilson
 %
-Got a complaint about the Internal Revenue Service?  
+Got a complaint about the Internal Revenue Service?
 Call the convenient toll-free "IRS Taxpayer Complaint Hot Line Number":
 
 	1-800-AUDITME
@@ -16155,7 +16155,7 @@ Mouse clicks numb the fingers.
 Heuristics weaken the mind.
 Options wither the heart.
 
-The Guru observes the net 
+The Guru observes the net
 but trusts his inner vision.
 He allows things to come and go.
 His heart is as open as the ether.
@@ -16291,7 +16291,7 @@ gy-ro-scope:
 hacker, n:
 	Originally, any person with a knack for coercing stubborn inanimate
 things; hence, a person with a happy knack, later contracted by the mythical
-philosopher Frisbee Frobenius to the common usage, 'hack'.
+philosopher Frisbee Frobenius to the common usage, "hack".
 	In olden times, upon completion of some particularly atrocious body
 of coding that happened to work well, culpable programmers would gather in
 a small circle around a first edition of Knuth's Best Volume I by candlelight,
@@ -16356,7 +16356,7 @@ Or help to half-a-crown."
 Had I been present at the creation, I would have given some
 useful hints for the better ordering of the universe.
 		-- Alfonso the Wise
- 
+
 	[Quoted in "VMS Internals and Data Structures", V4.4, when
 	 referring to operating system initialization.]
 %
@@ -16474,7 +16474,7 @@ the gravy with."
 	The hamper was close behind us, and George and I both turned round to
 reach one out.  We were not five seconds getting it.  When we looked round
 again, Harris and the pie were gone!
-	It was a wide, open field.  There was not a tree or a bit of hedge for 
+	It was a wide, open field.  There was not a tree or a bit of hedge for
 hundreds of yards.  He could not have tumbled into the river, because we were
 on the water side of him, and he would have had to climb over us to do it.
 	George and I gazed all about.  Then we gazed at each other.
@@ -16512,7 +16512,7 @@ could do," he said, smiling at his shot, "We were married for 22 years,
 you know."
 %
 Harry's bar has a new cocktail.  It's called MRS punch.  They make it with
-milk, rum and sugar and it's wonderful.  The milk is for vitality and the 
+milk, rum and sugar and it's wonderful.  The milk is for vitality and the
 sugar is for pep.  They put in the rum so that people will know what to do
 with all that pep and vitality.
 %
@@ -16745,7 +16745,7 @@ said, "there's a conflict between land and people... the people have to go..."
 		-- Stan Ridgeway, "Call of the West"
 %
 He is a man capable of turning any colour into grey.
-		-- John LeCarre 
+		-- John LeCarre
 %
 He is considered a most graceful speaker
 who can say nothing in the most words.
@@ -16844,10 +16844,10 @@ He thinks the Gettysburg Address is where Lincoln lived.
 		-- Wanda, "A Fish Called Wanda"
 %
 He thought of Musashi, the Sword Saint, standing in his garden more than
-three hundred years ago. "What is the 'Body of a rock'?" he was asked.
+three hundred years ago. "What is the `Body of a rock'?" he was asked.
 In answer, Musashi summoned a pupil of his and bid him kill himself by
 slashing his abdomen with a knife.  Just as the pupil was about to comply,
-the Master stayed his hand, saying, "That is the 'Body of a rock'."
+the Master stayed his hand, saying, "That is the `Body of a rock'."
 		-- Eric Van Lustbader
 %
 [He] took me into his library and showed me his books, of which he had
@@ -17077,12 +17077,12 @@ Hello.  Jim Rockford's machine, this is Larry Doheny's machine.  Will you
 please have your master call my master at his convenience?  Thank you.
 Thank you.  Thank you.  Thank you.  Thank you.  Thank you.
 %
-Hello, friend!  You say things aren't going too well?  You say you have a 
-date with your favorite girl when it starts raining so hard you can't see?  
-And you're out on some back road when the car stalls and won't start, so 
-you set off across the fields, and 50 feet of barbed wire hits you right 
-smack in the puss?  And then there's a big explosion behind you and you 
-don't hear your girl screaming any more?  
+Hello, friend!  You say things aren't going too well?  You say you have a
+date with your favorite girl when it starts raining so hard you can't see?
+And you're out on some back road when the car stalls and won't start, so
+you set off across the fields, and 50 feet of barbed wire hits you right
+smack in the puss?  And then there's a big explosion behind you and you
+don't hear your girl screaming any more?
 
 	Well, take a walk in the sun and hold your head up high!
 	You'll show the world; you'll tell them where to get off!
@@ -17555,7 +17555,7 @@ Houston, Tranquillity Base here.  The Eagle has landed.
 How apt the poor are to be proud.
 		-- William Shakespeare, "Twelfth-Night"
 %
-How can you do 'New Math' problems with an 'Old Math' mind?
+How can you do "New Math" problems with an "Old Math" mind?
 		-- Schulz
 %
 How can you govern a nation which has 246 kinds of cheese?
@@ -17581,7 +17581,7 @@ claim they'll make you?
 %
 How come we never talk anymore?
 %
-How comes it to pass, then, that we appear such cowards 
+How comes it to pass, then, that we appear such cowards
 in reasoning, and are so afraid to stand the test of ridicule?
 		-- A. Cooper
 %
@@ -17621,12 +17621,12 @@ standing in the huge singing and the alien world.
 "How do you know she is a unicorn?" Molly demanded.  "And why were you afraid
 to let her touch you?  I saw you.  You were afraid of her."
 	"I doubt that I will feel like talking for very long," the cat
-replied without rancor.  "I would not waste time in foolishness if I were 
+replied without rancor.  "I would not waste time in foolishness if I were
 you.  As to your first question, no cat out of its first fur can ever be
 deceived by appearances.  Unlike human beings, who enjoy them.  As for your
 second question --"  Here he faltered, and suddenly became very interested
 in washing; nor would he speak until he had licked himself fluffy and then
-licked himself smooth again.  Even then he would not look at Molly, but 
+licked himself smooth again.  Even then he would not look at Molly, but
 examined his claws.
 	"If she had touched me," he said very softly, "I would have been
 hers and not my own, not ever again."
@@ -17699,7 +17699,7 @@ Hubbard's Law:
 	Don't take life too seriously;
 	you won't get out of it alive.
 %
-Hug me now, you mad, impetuous fool!!  
+Hug me now, you mad, impetuous fool!!
 Oh wait...
 I'm a computer, and you're a person.  It would never work out.
 Never mind.
@@ -17712,8 +17712,8 @@ Human kind cannot bear very much reality.
 Human resources are human first, and resources second.
 		-- J. Garbers
 %
-Humanity has advanced, when it has advanced, not because it has been sober, 
-responsible, and cautious, but because it has been playful, rebellious, and 
+Humanity has advanced, when it has advanced, not because it has been sober,
+responsible, and cautious, but because it has been playful, rebellious, and
 immature.
 		-- Tom Robbins
 %
@@ -18388,17 +18388,17 @@ I go the way that Providence dictates.
 		-- Adolf Hitler
 %
 "I got into an elevator at work and this man followed in after me... I
-pushed '1' and he just stood there... I said 'Hi, where you going?'  He
-said, 'Phoenix.'  So I pushed Phoenix.  A few seconds later the doors
+pushed `1' and he just stood there... I said `Hi, where you going?'  He
+said, `Phoenix.'  So I pushed Phoenix.  A few seconds later the doors
 opened, two tumbleweeds blew in... we were in downtown Phoenix.  I looked
-at him and said 'You know, you're the kind of guy I want to hang around
+at him and said `You know, you're the kind of guy I want to hang around
 with.'  We got into his car and drove out to his shack in the desert.
-Then the phone rang.  He said 'You get it.'  I picked it up and said
-'Hello?'... the other side said 'Is this Steven Wright?'... I said 'Yes...'
-The guy said 'Hi, I'm Mr. Jones, the student loan director from your bank...
+Then the phone rang.  He said `You get it.'  I picked it up and said
+`Hello?'... the other side said `Is this Steven Wright?'... I said `Yes...'
+The guy said `Hi, I'm Mr. Jones, the student loan director from your bank...
 It seems you have missed your last 17 payments, and the university you
 attended said that they received none of the $17,000 we loaned you... we
-would just like to know what happened to the money?'  I said, 'Mr. Jones,
+would just like to know what happened to the money?'  I said, `Mr. Jones,
 I'll give it to you straight.  I gave all of the money to my friend Slick,
 and with it he built a nuclear weapon... and I would appreciate it you never
 called me again."
@@ -18487,7 +18487,7 @@ Beach."
 %
 I had another dream the other day about government financial management
 people.  They were small and rodent-like with padlocked ears, as if they
-had stepped out of a painting by Goya.  
+had stepped out of a painting by Goya.
 %
 I had another dream the other day about music critics.  They were small
 and rodent-like with padlocked ears, as if they had stepped out of a
@@ -18542,7 +18542,7 @@ Stay, here..." but he got wise to that.  Now when I call him he ignores me
 and just keeps on typing.
 		-- Stephen Wright
 %
-I have a dream.  I have a dream that one day, on the red hills of Georgia, 
+I have a dream.  I have a dream that one day, on the red hills of Georgia,
 the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slaveowners will be able to
 sit down together at the table of brotherhood.
 		-- Martin Luther King, Jr.
@@ -18689,8 +18689,8 @@ already catered for within the scope of any respectable domestic
 establishment.
 		-- Alan Bennett
 %
-I have no doubt that it is a part of the destiny of the human race, 
-in its gradual improvement, to leave off eating animals.    
+I have no doubt that it is a part of the destiny of the human race,
+in its gradual improvement, to leave off eating animals.
 		-- Thoreau
 %
 I have no doubt the Devil grins,
@@ -18759,8 +18759,8 @@ I have travelled the length and breadth of this country, and have talked with
 the best people in business administration.  I can assure you on the highest
 authority that data processing is a fad and won't last out the year.
 		-- Editor in charge of business books at Prentice-Hall
-		   publishers, responding to Karl V. Karlstrom (a junior 
-		   editor who had recommended a manuscript on the new 
+		   publishers, responding to Karl V. Karlstrom (a junior
+		   editor who had recommended a manuscript on the new
 		   science of data processing), c. 1957
 %
 I have ways of making money that you know nothing of.
@@ -19062,7 +19062,7 @@ But from the milk we're getting now
 There certainly must be one
 		-- Odgen Nash
 
-Ah, yes, I wrote "The Purple Cow"   
+Ah, yes, I wrote "The Purple Cow"
 I'm sorry now I wrote it
 But I can tell you anyhow
 I'll kill you if you quote it.
@@ -19154,11 +19154,11 @@ aspire to crudeness.
 I put up my thumb... and it blotted out the planet Earth.
 		-- Neil Armstrong
 %
-I quite agree with you, said the Duchess; and the moral of that is -- 'Be
-what you would seem to be' -- or, if you'd like it put more simply -- 'Never
+I quite agree with you, said the Duchess; and the moral of that is -- "Be
+what you would seem to be" -- or, if you'd like it put more simply -- "Never
 imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others
 that what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had
-been would have appeared to them to be otherwise.'
+been would have appeared to them to be otherwise."
 %
 I read a column by George Will that Scarface should be rated X because
 parents were taking their children to see it.  So what?  Why should the
@@ -19210,7 +19210,7 @@ I remember once being on a station platform in Cleveland at four in the
 morning.  A black porter was carrying my bags, and as we were waiting for
 the train to come in, he said to me: "Excuse me, Mr. Cooke, I don't want to
 invade your privacy, but I have a bet with a friend of mine.  Who composed
-the opening theme music of 'Omnibus'?  My friend said Virgil Thomson."  I
+the opening theme music of `Omnibus'?  My friend said Virgil Thomson."  I
 asked him, "What do you say?" He replied, "I say Aaron Copeland." I said,
 "You're right."  The porter said,  "I knew Thomson doesn't write counterpoint
 that way."  I told that to a network president, and he was deeply unimpressed.
@@ -19498,7 +19498,7 @@ sick and tired.  I'm certainly not!  But I'm sick and tired of being told
 that I am!
 		-- Monty Python
 %
-"I think he said 'Blessed are the cheesemakers.'"
+"I think he said `Blessed are the cheesemakers.'"
 "Nonsense, he was obviously referring to all manufacturers of dairy products."
 		-- The Life of Brian
 %
@@ -19766,8 +19766,8 @@ I was in accord with the system so long as it
 permitted me to function effectively.
 		-- Albert Speer
 %
-I was in this prematurely air conditioned supermarket and there were all 
-these aisles and there were these bathing caps you could buy that had these 
+I was in this prematurely air conditioned supermarket and there were all
+these aisles and there were these bathing caps you could buy that had these
 kind of Fourth of July plumes on them that were red and yellow and blue and
 I wasn't tempted to buy one but I was reminded of the fact that I had been
 avoiding the beach.
@@ -19819,7 +19819,7 @@ Dad, get me out of this.
 		-- Warren Zevon, "Lawyers, Guns and Money"
 %
 I went into the business for the money, and the art grew out of it.
-If people are disillusioned by that remark, I can't help it. 
+If people are disillusioned by that remark, I can't help it.
 It's the truth.
 		-- Charlie Chaplin
 %
@@ -19943,9 +19943,9 @@ had been stolen and replaced with an exact replica.  I told my roommate,
 replaced with an exact replica."  He said, "Do I know you?"
 		-- Steven Wright
 %
-"I wonder", he said to himself, "what's in a book while it's closed.  Oh, I 
-know it's full of letters printed on paper, but all the same, something must 
-be happening, because as soon as I open it, there's a whole story with people 
+"I wonder", he said to himself, "what's in a book while it's closed.  Oh, I
+know it's full of letters printed on paper, but all the same, something must
+be happening, because as soon as I open it, there's a whole story with people
 I don't know yet and all kinds of adventures and battles."
 		-- Bastian B. Bux
 %
@@ -19979,7 +19979,7 @@ of wax...  and that we remember and know what is imprinted as long as the
 image lasts; but when the image is effaced, or cannot be taken, then we
 forget or do not know.
 		-- Plato, Dialogs, Theateus 191
- 
+
 	[Quoted in "VMS Internals and Data Structures", V4.4, when
 	 referring to image activation and termination.]
 %
@@ -19988,7 +19988,7 @@ understanding, in mutuality of interest, in concern for the common good,
 our tasks will be solved.
 		-- Warren G. Harding
 %
-I would like to electrocute everyone who uses the word 'fair' in connection
+I would like to electrocute everyone who uses the word "fair" in connection
 with income tax policies.
 		-- William F. Buckley
 %
@@ -20108,7 +20108,7 @@ I'd never cry if I did find
 	A blue whale in my soup...
 Nor would I mind a porcupine
 	Inside a chicken coop.
-Yes life is fine when things combine,	
+Yes life is fine when things combine,
 	Like ham in beef chow mein...
 But lord, this time I think I mind,
 	They've put acid in my rain.
@@ -20269,7 +20269,7 @@ And all the skies were parchment,
 And all the men could write,
 These would not suffice
 To write down all the red tape
-Of this Government. 
+Of this Government.
 %
 If an average person on the subway turns to you, like an ancient mariner,
 and starts telling you her tale, you turn away or nod and hope she stops,
@@ -20408,7 +20408,7 @@ he'd make it easier to get to the airport.
 		-- George Winters
 %
 If God had wanted us to be concerned for the plight of the toads, he would
-have made them cute and furry. 
+have made them cute and furry.
 		-- Dave Barry
 %
 If God had wanted us to use the metric system, Jesus would have had
@@ -21207,7 +21207,7 @@ was running the wrong version of the gateway which was giving out the wrong
 network number?  Never supposed to happen.  Tough.  Supposing that your
 software discovers that the gateway is now giving out a different network
 number than before, what's it supposed to do about it?  This is not discussed
-in the protocol document.  Never supposed to happen.  Tough.  I think you 
+in the protocol document.  Never supposed to happen.  Tough.  I think you
 get my drift.
 %
 If you explain something so clearly that no
@@ -21328,7 +21328,7 @@ If you lose a son you can always get another,
 but there's only one Maltese Falcon.
 		-- Sidney Greenstreet, "The Maltese Falcon"
 %
-If you lose your temper at a newspaper columnist, he'll get rich, 
+If you lose your temper at a newspaper columnist, he'll get rich,
 or famous or both.
 %
 If you lose your temper at a newspaper columnist,
@@ -21506,7 +21506,7 @@ If put to a pinch, an ounce of loyalty is worth a pound of cleverness.
 If you must vilify, condemn and eternally find disparage -- resign your
 	position, and when you are outside, damn to your heart's content...
 	but, as long as you are part of the institution do not condemn it.
-If you do that, you are loosening the tendrils that are holding you to the 
+If you do that, you are loosening the tendrils that are holding you to the
 	institution, and at the first high wind that comes along, you will
 	be uprooted and blown away, and probably will never know the reason
 	why.
@@ -21599,7 +21599,7 @@ rage today, and it will set the pace tomorrow.
 Ignorance is when you don't know anything and somebody finds it out.
 %
 Ignorance must certainly be bliss or there wouldn't be so many people
-so resolutely pursuing it. 
+so resolutely pursuing it.
 %
 Ignore previous fortune.
 %
@@ -21772,17 +21772,17 @@ And McGovern were a tree.
 %
 I'm going through my "I want to go back to New York" phase today.  Happens
 every six months or so.  So, I thought, perhaps unwisely, that I'd share
-it with you.  
+it with you.
 
 > In New York in the winter it is million degrees below zero and
-  the wind travels at a million miles an hour down 5th avenue. 
+  the wind travels at a million miles an hour down 5th avenue.
 > And in LA it's 72.
 
 > In New York in the summer it is a million degrees and the humidity
   is a million percent.
 > And in LA it's 72.
 
-> In New York there are a million interesting people.  
+> In New York there are a million interesting people.
 > And in LA there are 72.
 %
 I'm going to give my psychoanalyst one more year, then I'm going to Lourdes.
@@ -21848,7 +21848,7 @@ gence?"  I give the standard arguments -- there are a lot of places out there,
 and use the word *billions*, and so on.  And then I say it would be astonishing
 to me if there weren't extraterrestrial intelligence, but of course there is as
 yet no compelling evidence for it.  And then I'm asked, "Yeah, but what do you
-really think?"  I say, "I just told you what I really think."  "Yeah, but 
+really think?"  I say, "I just told you what I really think."  "Yeah, but
 what's your gut feeling?"  But I try not to think with my gut.  Really, it's
 okay to reserve judgment until the evidence is in.
 		-- Carl Sagan
@@ -21992,7 +21992,7 @@ because the warrant was made out in the name of Don Provan, while the only
 person in the house was named don provan.  Proving, once again, that Unix is
 superior to Tops10.
 %
-In a whiskey it's age, in a cigarette it's 
+In a whiskey it's age, in a cigarette it's
 taste and in a sports car it's impossible.
 %
 In America any boy may become President, and I suppose that's just the
@@ -22230,8 +22230,8 @@ want the other person.
 In San Francisco, Halloween is redundant.
 		-- Will Durst
 %
-In science it often happens that scientists say, 'You know that's a really
-good argument; my position is mistaken,' and then they actually change
+In science it often happens that scientists say, "You know that's a really
+good argument; my position is mistaken," and then they actually change
 their minds and you never hear that old view from them again.  They really
 do it.  It doesn't happen as often as it should, because scientists are
 human and change is sometimes painful.  But it happens every day.  I cannot
@@ -22352,7 +22352,7 @@ the east is the Easter Bunny, and 100 feet to the west is Santa Claus.
 Q:	Who gets to the pot of gold first?
 A:	The dumb manager.  All the rest are myths.
 %
-In the midst of one of the wildest parties he'd ever been to, the young man 
+In the midst of one of the wildest parties he'd ever been to, the young man
 noticed a very prim and pretty girl sitting quietly apart from the rest of
 the revelers.  Approaching her, he introduced himself and, after some quiet
 conversation, said, "I'm afraid you and I don't really fit in with this
@@ -22843,7 +22843,7 @@ a visiting uncle who's rich!
 %
 It happened long ago
 In the new magic land
-The Indians and the buffalo    
+The Indians and the buffalo
 Existed hand in hand
 The Indians needed food
 They need skins for a roof
@@ -22945,7 +22945,7 @@ What fun is there in making plans, acquiring discipline in organizing
 thoughts, devoting attention to detail, and learning to be self-critical?
 		-- Alan Perlis
 %
-It is all right to hold a conversation, 
+It is all right to hold a conversation,
 but you should let go of it now and then.
 		-- Richard Armour
 %
@@ -23038,7 +23038,7 @@ It is equally bad when one speeds on the guest unwilling to go, and when he
 holds back one who is hastening.  Rather one should befriend the guest who
 is there, but speed him when he wishes.
 		-- Homer, "The Odyssey"
- 
+
 	[Quoted in "VMS Internals and Data Structures", V4.4, when
 	 referring to scheduling.]
 %
@@ -23152,8 +23152,8 @@ and he who makes haste with his feet misses his way.
 It is not necessary to inquire whether a woman would like something for
 dessert.  The answer is yes, she would like something for dessert, but
 she would like you to order it so she can pick at it with your fork.  She
-does not want you to call attention to this by saying, 'If you wanted a
-dessert, why didn't you order one?'  You must understand, she has the
+does not want you to call attention to this by saying, "If you wanted a
+dessert, why didn't you order one?"  You must understand, she has the
 dessert she wants.  The dessert she wants is contained within yours.
 		-- Merrill Marcoe, "An Insider's Guide to the American Woman"
 %
@@ -23203,7 +23203,7 @@ is the only thing that makes the result come true.
 %
 It is only with the heart one can see clearly;
 what is essential is invisible to the eye.
-		-- The Fox, 'The Little Prince"
+		-- The Fox, "The Little Prince"
 %
 It is possible by ingenuity and at the expense of clarity... {to do almost
 anything in any language}.  However, the fact that it is possible to push
@@ -23216,7 +23216,7 @@ It is possible that blondes also prefer gentlemen.
 		-- Maimie Van Doren
 %
 It is ridiculous to call this an industry.  This is not.  This is rat eat
-rat, dog eat dog.  I'll kill 'em, and I'm going to kill 'em before they 
+rat, dog eat dog.  I'll kill 'em, and I'm going to kill 'em before they
 kill me.  You're talking about the American way of survival of the fittest.
 		-- Ray Kroc, founder of McDonald's
 %
@@ -23243,8 +23243,8 @@ It is so very hard to be an on-your-own-take-care-of-
 yourself-because-there-is-no-one-else-to-do-it-for-you grown up.
 %
 It is something to be able to paint a particular picture, or to carve a
-statue, and so to make a few objects beautiful; but it is far more glorious 
-to carve and paint the very atmosphere and medium through which we look, 
+statue, and so to make a few objects beautiful; but it is far more glorious
+to carve and paint the very atmosphere and medium through which we look,
 which morally we can do.  To affect the quality of the day, that is the
 highest of arts. Every man is tasked to make his life, even in its details,
 worthy of the contemplation of his most elevated and critical hour.
@@ -23529,7 +23529,7 @@ It's all right letting yourself go as long as you can let yourself back.
 		-- Mick Jagger
 %
 "It's all so painfully empty and lonesome...  I don't think I can stand
-any more of it... the whole dreadful way we are born, die, and are 
+any more of it... the whole dreadful way we are born, die, and are
 never missed.  The fact there is *nobody*... nobody really...  We come
 out of a yawning tomb of flesh and sink back finally into another tomb.
 What is the point of it all?  Who thought up this sickening circle of
@@ -23942,7 +23942,7 @@ Her voice was little more than a whisper.
 	"Joe, darling," she breathed, "I've got a confession to make
 before I go.  I ... I'm the one who took the $10,000 from your safe...
 I spent it on a fling with your best friend, Charles.  And it was I who
-forced your mistress to leave the city.  And I am the one who reported 
+forced your mistress to leave the city.  And I am the one who reported
 your income-tax evasion to the I.R.S..."
 	"That's all right, dearest, don't give it a second thought,"
 whispered Joe. "I'm the one who poisoned you."
@@ -24064,7 +24064,7 @@ going to get hit.
 Just because the message may never be
 received does not mean it is not worth sending.
 %
-Just because they are called 'forbidden' transitions does not mean that they
+Just because they are called `forbidden' transitions does not mean that they
 are forbidden.  They are less allowed than allowed transitions, if you see
 what I mean.
 		-- From a Part 2 Quantum Mechanics lecture.
@@ -24809,7 +24809,7 @@ LEVERAGE:
 %
 Leveraging always beats prototyping.
 %
-L'hazard ne favorise que l'esprit prepare.  
+L'hazard ne favorise que l'esprit prepare.
 		-- L. Pasteur
 %
 Liar: one who tells an unpleasant truth.
@@ -25372,7 +25372,7 @@ Lots of folks are forced to skimp to support a government that won't.
 Lots of folks confuse bad management with destiny.
 		-- Frank Hubbard
 %
-Lots of girls can be had for a song.  
+Lots of girls can be had for a song.
 Unfortunately, it often turns out to be the wedding march.
 %
 Louie Louie, me gotta go
@@ -26102,7 +26102,7 @@ Mathematics deals exclusively with the relations of concepts
 to each other without consideration of their relation to experience.
 		-- Albert Einstein
 %
-Mathematics is the only science where one never knows what 
+Mathematics is the only science where one never knows what
 one is talking about nor whether what is said is true.
 		-- Russell
 %
@@ -26645,7 +26645,7 @@ Most burning issues generate far more heat than light.
 %
 Most folks they like the daytime,
 	'cause they like to see the shining sun.
-They're up in the morning, 
+They're up in the morning,
 	off and a-running till they're too tired for having fun.
 But when the sun goes down,
 	and the bright lights shine, my daytime has just begun.
@@ -26946,7 +26946,7 @@ I drowned her in a cask of rum,
 And so made sure that she would stay
 In better spirits night and day.
 %
-My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four.  
+My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four.
 Unless there are three other people.
 		-- Orson Welles
 %
@@ -28006,11 +28006,11 @@ None love the bearer of bad news.
 		-- Sophocles
 %
 None of our men are "experts."  We have most unfortunately found it necessary
-to get rid of a man as soon as he thinks himself an expert -- because no one 
-ever considers himself expert if he really knows his job.  A man who knows a 
-job sees so much more to be done than he has done, that he is always pressing 
-forward and never gives up an instant of thought to how good and how efficient 
-he is.  Thinking always ahead, thinking always of trying to do more, brings a 
+to get rid of a man as soon as he thinks himself an expert -- because no one
+ever considers himself expert if he really knows his job.  A man who knows a
+job sees so much more to be done than he has done, that he is always pressing
+forward and never gives up an instant of thought to how good and how efficient
+he is.  Thinking always ahead, thinking always of trying to do more, brings a
 state of mind in which nothing is impossible. The moment one gets into the
 "expert" state of mind a great number of things become impossible.
 		-- From Henry Ford Sr., "My Life and Work"
@@ -28174,7 +28174,7 @@ serious drug collection the tendency is to push it as far as you can.
 Not to laugh, not to lament, not to curse, but to understand.
 		-- Spinoza
 %
-NOTE:  No warranties, either express or implied, are hereby given. 
+NOTE:  No warranties, either express or implied, are hereby given.
 All software is supplied as is, without guarantee.  The user assumes
 all responsibility for damages resulting from the use of these
 features, including, but not limited to, frustration, disgust, system
@@ -28733,10 +28733,10 @@ Born under one law, to another bound.
 Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive.
 		-- Shakespeare
 %
-Oh, ya doesn't have ta call me 'Johnson'!  Well, you can call me 'Ray', or
-you can call me 'Jay', or you can call me 'R.J.', or you can call me 'Ray
-J.', or you can call me 'R.J.J.', or you can call me 'Ray J. Johnson', or
-you can call me 'R.J. Johnson', but ya DOESN'T have to call me 'Johnson'...
+Oh, ya doesn't have ta call me "Johnson"!  Well, you can call me "Ray", or
+you can call me "Jay", or you can call me "R.J.", or you can call me "Ray
+J.", or you can call me "R.J.J.", or you can call me "Ray J. Johnson", or
+you can call me "R.J. Johnson", but ya DOESN'T have to call me "Johnson"...
 %
 Oh yeah?  Well, I remember when sex was dirty and the air was clean.
 %
@@ -28905,7 +28905,7 @@ that ought to shut them up.
 Once harm has been done, even a fool understands it.
 		-- Homer
 %
-Once he had one leg in the White House and the nation trembled under his 
+Once he had one leg in the White House and the nation trembled under his
 roars.  Now he is a tinpot pope in the Coca-Cola belt and a brother to the
 forlorn pastors who belabor halfwits in galvanized iron tabernacles behind
 the railroad yards."
@@ -28988,7 +28988,7 @@ just as likely remove your head with one swat of a paw.  However, the family
 of these unfortunate would-be knights was compensated with a beautiful
 sheepdog from the royal kennels, which was itself a fairly valuable
 possession.  And the moral of the story is:
- 
+
 The mourning after a terrible knight, nothing beats the dog of the bear that
 hit you.
 %
@@ -29199,7 +29199,7 @@ One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.
 %
 One nuclear bomb can ruin your whole day.
 %
-One of the chief duties of the mathematician in acting as an 
+One of the chief duties of the mathematician in acting as an
 advisor... is to discourage... from expecting too much from
 mathematics.
 		-- N. Wiener
@@ -29371,13 +29371,13 @@ smiles back at the rear of an elephant.
 Only that in you which is me can hear what I'm saying.
 		-- Baba Ram Dass
 %
-Only the fittest survive. The vanquished acknowledge their unworthiness by 
-placing a classified ad with the ritual phrase "must sell -- best offer," 
+Only the fittest survive. The vanquished acknowledge their unworthiness by
+placing a classified ad with the ritual phrase "must sell -- best offer,"
 and thereafter dwell in infamy, relegated to discussing gas mileage and lawn
-food.  But if successful, you join the elite sodality that spends hours 
+food.  But if successful, you join the elite sodality that spends hours
 unpurifying the dialect of the tribe with arcane talk of bits and bytes, RAMS
-and ROMS, hard disks and baud rates. Are you obnoxious, obsessed?  It's a 
-modest price to pay.  For you have tapped into the same awesome primal power 
+and ROMS, hard disks and baud rates. Are you obnoxious, obsessed?  It's a
+modest price to pay.  For you have tapped into the same awesome primal power
 that produces credit-card billing errors and lost plane reservations.  Hail,
 postindustrial warrior, subduer of Bounceoids, pride of the cosmos, keeper of
 the silicone creed: Computo, ergo sum.  The force is with you -- at 110 volts.
@@ -29994,7 +29994,7 @@ Periphrasis is the putting of things in a round-about way.  "The cost may be
 upwards of a figure rather below 10m#." is a periphrasis for The cost may be
 nearly 10m#.  "In Paris there reigns a complete absence of really reliable
 news" is a periphrasis for There is no reliable news in Paris.  "Rarely does
-the 'Little Summer' linger until November, but at times its stay has been
+the `Little Summer' linger until November, but at times its stay has been
 prolonged until quite late in the year's penultimate month" contains a
 periphrasis for November, and another for lingers.  "The answer is in the
 negative" is a periphrasis for No.  "Was made the recipient of" is a
@@ -30594,13 +30594,13 @@ prototype, n.
 	upgrade, corrected upgrade, etc.  Unlike its successors, the
 	prototype is not expected to work.
 %
-Providence New Jersey is one of the few cities 
+Providence New Jersey is one of the few cities
 where Velveeta cheese appears on the gourmet shelf.
 %
 Prunes give you a run for your money.
 %
 Pryor's Observation:
-	How long you live has nothing to do 
+	How long you live has nothing to do
 	with how long you are going to be dead.
 %
 Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents'
@@ -30638,7 +30638,7 @@ Psychology.  Mind over matter.
 Mind under matter?  It doesn't matter.
 Never mind.
 %
-Public use of any portable music system is a 
+Public use of any portable music system is a
 virtually guaranteed indicator of sociopathic tendencies.
 		-- Zoso
 %
@@ -31345,7 +31345,7 @@ QOTD:
 	"I ain't broke, but I'm badly bent."
 %
 QOTD:
-	"I am not sure what this is, but an 'F' would only dignify it."
+	"I am not sure what this is, but an `F' would only dignify it."
 %
 QOTD:
 	"I don't think they could put him in a mental hospital.  On the
@@ -31432,7 +31432,7 @@ QOTD:
 	"I'll listen to reason when it comes out on CD."
 %
 QOTD:
-	"I'm just a boy named 'su'..."
+	"I'm just a boy named `su'..."
 %
 QOTD:
 	I'm not a nerd -- I'm "socially challenged".
@@ -31511,7 +31511,7 @@ QOTD:
 	Ludwig Boltzmann, who spend much of his life studying statistical
 	mechanics died in 1906 by his own hand.  Paul Ehrenfest, carrying
 	on the work, died similarly in 1933.  Now it is our turn.
-		-- Goodstein, States of Matter 
+		-- Goodstein, States of Matter
 %
 QOTD:
 	Money isn't everything, but at least it keeps the kids in touch.
@@ -31630,7 +31630,7 @@ I haven't come far enough and don't call me baby.
 %
 QOTD:
 I looked out my window, and saw Kyle Pettys' car upside down,
-then I thought 'One of us is in real trouble'.
+then I thought, "One of us is in real trouble."
 	-- Davey Allison, on a 150 m.p.h. crash
 %
 QOTD:
@@ -31987,7 +31987,7 @@ Remembering is for those who have forgotten.
 %
 Remove me from this land of slaves,
 Where all are fools, and all are knaves,
-Where every knave and fool is bought, 
+Where every knave and fool is bought,
 Yet kindly sells himself for nought;
 		-- Jonathan Swift
 %
@@ -32053,7 +32053,7 @@ actually have a shot at it.
 %
 Reunite Gondwondaland!
 %
-Rev. Jim:	What does an amber light mean?                                 
+Rev. Jim:	What does an amber light mean?
 Bobby:		Slow down.
 Rev. Jim:	What...   does...  an...  amber...  light...  mean?
 Bobby:		Slow down.
@@ -32933,7 +32933,7 @@ She often gave herself very good advice
 (though she very seldom followed it).
 		-- Lewis Carroll
 %
-She ran the gamut of emotions from 'A' to 'B'.
+She ran the gamut of emotions from "A" to "B".
 		-- Dorothy Parker, on a Kate Hepburn performance
 %
 She say, Miss Colie, You better hush.  God might hear you.
@@ -32990,17 +32990,17 @@ Shedenhelm's Law:
 "Shelter", what a nice name for for a place where you polish your cat.
 %
 Sheriff Chameleotoptor sighed with an air of weary sadness, and then
-turned to Doppelgutt and said 'The Senator must really have been on a
+turned to Doppelgutt and said "The Senator must really have been on a
 bender this time -- he left a party in Cleveland, Ohio, at 11:30 last
 night, and they found his car this morning in the smokestack of a British
-aircraft carrier in the Formosa Straits.'
+aircraft carrier in the Formosa Straits."
 		-- Grand Panjandrum's Special Award, 1985 Bulwer-Lytton
 		   bad fiction contest.
 %
 She's learned to say things with her eyes
 that others waste time putting into words.
 %
-She's so tough she won't take 'yes' for an answer.
+She's so tough she won't take "yes" for an answer.
 %
 She's such a kinky girl,
 The kind you don't take home to mother.
@@ -33433,7 +33433,7 @@ CONSERVATISM:
 	Freeze the milk.  Embalm the cows.
 %
 Software production is assumed to be a line function, but it is run
-like a staff function."  
+like a staff function."
 		-- Paul Licker
 %
 Software suppliers are trying to make their software packages more
@@ -33679,7 +33679,7 @@ Something better...
 
  1 (obvious): Excuse me.  Is that your nose or did a bus park on your face?
  2 (meteorological): Everybody take cover.  She's going to blow.
- 3 (fashionable): You know, you could de-emphasize your nose if you wore 
+ 3 (fashionable): You know, you could de-emphasize your nose if you wore
 	something larger.  Like ... Wyoming.
  4 (personal): Well, here we are.  Just the three of us.
  5 (punctual): Alright gentlemen.  Your nose was on time but you were fifteen
@@ -33859,7 +33859,7 @@ attack are 13562190123 to 1, Captain.
 Spock: We suffered 23 casualties in that attack, Captain.
 %
 SPOUSE:
-	Someone who'll stand by you through all the 
+	Someone who'll stand by you through all the
 	trouble you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single.
 %
 Spring is here, spring is here,
@@ -33911,7 +33911,7 @@ STANDARDS:
 	The principles we use to reject other people's code.
 %
 Standards are different for all things, so the standard set by man is by
-no means the only 'certain' standard.  If you mistake what is relative for
+no means the only "certain" standard.  If you mistake what is relative for
 something certain, you have strayed far from the ultimate truth.
 		-- Chuang Tzu
 %
@@ -34688,7 +34688,7 @@ thing is, so it can't hurt you no more.
 		-- R. Bradbury, "The Fog Horn"
 %
 "That's no answer," Job said, "And for someone who's supposed to be
-omnipotent, let me tell you 'tabernacle' has only one l."
+omnipotent, let me tell you `tabernacle' has only one l."
 		-- Woody Allen, "Without Feathers"
 %
 That's no moon...
@@ -34732,7 +34732,7 @@ The 357.73 Theory --
 	Auditors always reject expense accounts
 	with a bottom line divisible by 5.
 %
-The 'A' is for content, the 'minus' is for not typing it.
+The "A" is for content, the "minus" is for not typing it.
 Don't ever do this to my eyes again.
 		-- Professor Ronald Brady, Philosophy, Ramapo State College
 %
@@ -35325,7 +35325,7 @@ The cost of feathers has risen, even down is up!
 The cost of living has just gone up another dollar a quart.
 		-- W.C. Fields
 %
-The countdown had stalled at 'T' minus 69 seconds when Desiree, the first
+The countdown had stalled at "T" minus 69 seconds when Desiree, the first
 female ape to go up in space, winked at me slyly and pouted her thick,
 rubbery lips unmistakably -- the first of many such advances during what
 would prove to be the longest, and most memorable, space voyage of my
@@ -35363,14 +35363,14 @@ The dangerous Lego Bomb, which targets shag rugs and scatters pieces of
 plastic that hurt like hell when you step on them is banned entirely....
 Hiring David Copperfield to pretend to saw the missiles in half will not
 be permitted...  In order to reduce risk of accidental war, both sides
-agree to ban the popular but dangerous 'Simon Says' training drill at
+agree to ban the popular but dangerous "Simon Says" training drill at
 nuclear launch sites...  Under no circumstances will either side reveal
 that it hammered out the treaty in one afternoon, but spent the last nine
 years arguing the Monty Hall and the three doors problem.
 		-- Little known provisions of the START treaty by James Lileks
 %
-The day advanced as if to light some work of mine; it was morning, 
-and lo! now it is evening, and nothing memorable is accomplished.  
+The day advanced as if to light some work of mine; it was morning,
+and lo! now it is evening, and nothing memorable is accomplished.
 		-- H.D. Thoreau
 %
 The day will come when the mystical generation of Jesus, by the Supreme Being
@@ -35554,17 +35554,17 @@ The elder gods went to Yuggoth, and all you got was this lousy fortune.
 %
 The Encyclopaedia Galactica defines a robot as a mechanical apparatus designed
 to do the work of a man.  The marketing division of Sirius Cybernetics
-Corporation defines a robot as 'Your Plastic Pal Who's Fun To Be With'.
+Corporation defines a robot as "Your Plastic Pal Who's Fun To Be With".
 The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy defines the marketing division of the
-Sirius Cybernetics Corporation as 'a bunch of mindless jerks who'll be the
-first against the wall when the revolution comes', with a footnote to effect
+Sirius Cybernetics Corporation as "a bunch of mindless jerks who'll be the
+first against the wall when the revolution comes", with a footnote to effect
 that the editors would welcome applications from anyone interested in taking
 over the post of robotics correspondent.
 	Curiously enough, an edition of the Encyclopaedia Galactica that
 had the good fortune to fall through a time warp from a thousand years in
 the future defined the marketing division of the Sirius Cybernetics
-Corporation as 'a bunch of mindless jerks who were the first against the
-wall when the revolution came'.
+Corporation as "a bunch of mindless jerks who were the first against the
+wall when the revolution came".
 %
 The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun.
 		-- Buckminster Fuller
@@ -35690,7 +35690,7 @@ The faster I go, the behinder I get.
 %
 The Fastest Defeat In Chess
 	The big name for us in the world of chess is Gibaud, a French chess
-master.  
+master.
 	In Paris during 1924 he was beaten after only four moves by a
 Monsieur Lazard.  Happily for posterity, the moves are recorded and so
 chess enthusiasts may reconstruct this magnificent collapse in the comfort
@@ -36120,7 +36120,7 @@ THEN -- MONROE!
 NOW -- McCLANAHAN!!!
 		-- The Rotton Apple (1963), Rue McClanahan
 
-*NOT FOR SISSIES! DON'T COME IF YOU'RE CHICKEN! 
+*NOT FOR SISSIES! DON'T COME IF YOU'RE CHICKEN!
 A Horrifying Movie of Weird Beauties and Shocking Monsters...
 1001 WEIRDEST SCENES EVER!!  MOST SHOCKING THRILLER OF THE CENTURY!
 		-- Teenage Psycho meets Bloody Mary (1964)  (Alternate Title:
@@ -36284,13 +36284,13 @@ their wives and daughters to his arms.
 The greatest love is a mother's, then a dog's, then a sweetheart's.
 		-- Polish proverb
 %
-The Greatest Mathematical Error 
+The Greatest Mathematical Error
 	The Mariner I space probe was launched from Cape Canaveral on 28
 July 1962 towards Venus.  After 13 minutes' flight a booster engine would
 give acceleration up to 25,820 mph; after 44 minutes 9,800 solar cells
 would unfold; after 80 days a computer would calculate the final course
 corrections and after 100 days the craft would circle the unknown planet,
-scanning the mysterious cloud in which it is bathed.  
+scanning the mysterious cloud in which it is bathed.
 	However, with an efficiency that is truly heartening, Mariner I
 plunged into the Atlantic Ocean only four minutes after takeoff.
 	Inquiries later revealed that a minus sign had been omitted from
@@ -36313,7 +36313,7 @@ The happiest time in any man's life is just after the first divorce.
 		-- Galbraith
 %
 The happiest time of a person's life is after his first divorce.
-		-- J.K. Galbraith 
+		-- J.K. Galbraith
 %
 The hardest part of climbing the ladder of
 success is getting through the crowd at the bottom.
@@ -36530,7 +36530,7 @@ A:	"Those are their guys. And all those little red specks running
 	the dust clears."
 K:	"And?"
 A:	"If there are more red specks left than black specks, we win."
-K:	"But what about the 
+K:	"But what about the
 ^#!!$% battle plan?"
 A:	"So far, it seems to be going according to specks."
 %
@@ -36788,8 +36788,8 @@ The louder he talked of his honour, the faster we counted our spoons.
 The lovely woman-child Kaa was mercilessly chained to the cruel post of
 the warrior-chief Beast, with his barbarian tribe now stacking wood at
 her nubile feet, when the strong clear voice of the poetic and heroic
-Handsomas roared, 'Flick your Bic, crisp that chick, and you'll feel my
-steel through your last meal!'
+Handsomas roared, "Flick your Bic, crisp that chick, and you'll feel my
+steel through your last meal!"
 		-- Winning sentence, 1984 Bulwer-Lytton bad fiction contest.
 %
 The luck that is ordained for you will be coveted by others.
@@ -36834,7 +36834,7 @@ The one that got away.
 The Man Who Almost Invented The Vacuum Cleaner
 	The man officially credited with inventing the vacuum cleaner is
 Hubert Cecil Booth.  However, he got the idea from a man who almost
-invented it.  
+invented it.
 	In 1901 Booth visited a London music-hall.  On the bill was an
 American inventor with his wonder machine for removing dust from carpets.
 	The machine comprised a box about one foot square with a bag on top.
@@ -36971,7 +36971,7 @@ The Modelski Chain Rule:
 	thrashing anyway, just to show you mean business.
 %
 "The molars, I'm sure, will be all right, the molars can take care of
-themselves," the old man said, no longer to me.  "But what will become 
+themselves," the old man said, no longer to me.  "But what will become
 of the bicuspids?"
 		-- The Old Man and his Bridge
 %
@@ -37098,7 +37098,7 @@ The most important early product on the way
 to developing a good product is an imperfect version.
 %
 The most important service rendered by the press is that of educating
-people to approach printed matter with distrust. 
+people to approach printed matter with distrust.
 %
 The most important thing in a relationship between a man and a woman
 is that one of them be good at taking orders.
@@ -37111,7 +37111,7 @@ The most popular labor-saving device today is still a husband with money.
 %
 The most recent attempt to revive the moribund campus left, a national
 conference held at Rutgers University February 5-7, ended when the
-participants decided that they were too racist to found a new national 
+participants decided that they were too racist to found a new national
 organization.
 	The stated goal of the conference was the formation of a national
 organization that would "give expression to a shared consciousness."  The
@@ -37137,7 +37137,7 @@ an ultimatum which demanded that they disband, this would-be successor to the
 radical student movements of the Sixties promptly voted itself out of
 existence.  As del Borgo and Margaronis put it, "After much chaotic discussion
 and a confused voice vote, the convention suspended all its other work and
-broke into regional groups to discuss 'outreach.'"
+broke into regional groups to discuss `outreach.'"
 		-- Libertarian Agenda, May 1988
 %
 The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she
@@ -37186,7 +37186,7 @@ The nearer to the church, the further from God.
 The net is like a vast sea of lutefisk with tiny dinosaur brains embedded
 in it here and there. Any given spoonful will likely have an IQ of 1, but
 occasional spoonfuls may have an IQ more than six times that!
-	-- James 'Kibo' Parry
+	-- James "Kibo" Parry
 %
 The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10
 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot.
@@ -37474,15 +37474,15 @@ The other day I... uh, no, that wasn't me.
 %
 The other line moves faster.
 %
-The owner of a large furniture store in the mid-west arrived in France on 
+The owner of a large furniture store in the mid-west arrived in France on
 a buying trip.  As he was checking into a hotel he struck up an acquaintance
 with a beautiful young lady.  However, she only spoke French and he only spoke
 English, so each couldn't understand a word the other spoke.  He took out a
 pencil and a notebook and drew a picture of a coach.  She smiled, nodded her
-head and they went for a ride in the park.  Later, he drew a picture of a 
+head and they went for a ride in the park.  Later, he drew a picture of a
 table in a restaurant with a question mark and she nodded, so they went to
 dinner.  After dinner he sketched two dancers and she was delighted.  They
-went to several nightclubs, drank champagne, danced and had a glorious 
+went to several nightclubs, drank champagne, danced and had a glorious
 evening.  It had gotten quite late when she motioned for the pencil and drew
 a picture of a four-poster bed.  He was dumbfounded, and to this day has
 never be able to understand how she knew he was in the furniture business.
@@ -37718,7 +37718,7 @@ illiterates can read.
 		-- Alberto Moravia
 %
 The real man's Bloody Mary:
-	Ingredients: vodka, tomato juice, Tabasco, Worcestershire 
+	Ingredients: vodka, tomato juice, Tabasco, Worcestershire
 	sauce, A-1 steak sauce, ice, salt, pepper, celery.
 
 	Fill a large tumbler with vodka.
@@ -37774,10 +37774,10 @@ The Reverend Henry Ward Beecher
 Called a hen a most elegant creature.
 	The hen, pleased with that,
 	Laid an egg in his hat --
-And thus did the hen reward Beecher. 
+And thus did the hen reward Beecher.
 		-- Oliver Wendell Holmes
 %
-The reverse side also has a reverse side.  
+The reverse side also has a reverse side.
 		-- Japanese proverb
 %
 The reward for working hard is more hard work.
@@ -37976,7 +37976,7 @@ The solution to a problem changes the nature of the problem.
 The somewhat old and crusty vicar was taking a well-earned retirement from
 his rather old and crusty parish.  As is usual in these cases, a locum was
 sent to cover the transition period.  This particular man was young and
-active, and had the strange notion that church should also be active and 
+active, and had the strange notion that church should also be active and
 exciting.  As a consequence he was more than a little disappointed with the
 dull and tradition-bound church.  He decided to do something about it.
 	For his first Sunday, he didn't wear the traditional robes and
@@ -38055,7 +38055,7 @@ Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent.
 %
 The street preacher looked so baffled
 When I asked him why he dressed
-With forty pounds of headlines 
+With forty pounds of headlines
 Stapled to his chest.
 But he cursed me when I proved to him
 I said, "Not even you can hide.
@@ -38146,7 +38146,7 @@ It came before the first kernel.
 %
 The tao that can be tar(1)ed
 is not the entire Tao.
-The path that can be specified 
+The path that can be specified
 is not the Full Path.
 
 We declare the names
@@ -38447,7 +38447,7 @@ The Vet Who Surprised A Cow
 surgeon was required to treat an ailing cow.  To investigate its internal
 gases he inserted a tube into that end of the animal not capable of facial
 expression and struck a match.  The jet of flame set fire first to some
-bales of hay and then to the whole farm causing damage estimate at L45,000. 
+bales of hay and then to the whole farm causing damage estimate at L45,000.
 The vet was later fined L140 for starting a fire in a manner surprising to
 the magistrates.  The cow escaped with shock.
 		-- Stephen Pile, "The Book of Heroic Failures"
@@ -38459,8 +38459,8 @@ to make it what it is supposed to be -- God's guest house on earth.
 The volume of paper expands to fill the available briefcases.
 		-- Jerry Brown
 %
-The voluptuous blond was chatting with her handsome escort in a posh 
-restaurant when their waiter, stumbling as he brought their drinks, 
+The voluptuous blond was chatting with her handsome escort in a posh
+restaurant when their waiter, stumbling as he brought their drinks,
 dumped a martini on the rocks down the back of the blonde's dress.  She
 sprang to her feet with a wild rebel yell, dashed wildly around the table,
 then galloped wriggling from the room followed by her distraught boyfriend.
@@ -38754,7 +38754,7 @@ the piano.  Another whom we adore when he plays the piano turned the pages.
 But the man who should have turned the pages played the violin."
 		-- Stephen Pile, "The Book of Heroic Failures"
 %
-The worst part of having success is trying 
+The worst part of having success is trying
 to find someone who is happy for you.
 		-- Bette Midler
 %
@@ -38800,7 +38800,7 @@ if something could have materialized -- and never knowing.
 The Wright Bothers weren't the first to fly.
 They were just the first not to crash.
 %
-The yankees, son, are up north.  
+The yankees, son, are up north.
 The damnyankees are down here.
 %
 The young Georgia miss came to the hospital for a checkup.
@@ -38812,9 +38812,9 @@ Linked in part to a structural weakness.
 She set no preconditions.
 %
 The young man-about-town enjoyed luxury but didn't always have the means
-to buy it, and so he huffily walked out of the Miami Beach hotel when he 
+to buy it, and so he huffily walked out of the Miami Beach hotel when he
 found out the charges for room, meals and golf privileges were $300 a day.
-He registered across the street at an equally elegant hotel, where the 
+He registered across the street at an equally elegant hotel, where the
 rates were only $70.  The following morning he went down to the hotel's
 golf course and asked Scotty, the pro, to sell him a couple of golf balls.
 "Sure," said Scotty.  "That'll be $25 apiece."
@@ -38882,7 +38882,7 @@ Theorem: All programs are dull.
 Proof: Assume the contrary; i.e., the set of interesting programs is
 nonempty.  Arrange them (or it) in order of interest (note that all
 sets can be well ordered, so do it properly).  The minimal element is
-the "least interesting program", the obvious dullness of which provides 
+the "least interesting program", the obvious dullness of which provides
 the contradictory denouement we so devoutly seek.
 		-- Stan Kelly-Bootle, "The Devil's DP Dictionary"
 %
@@ -38923,7 +38923,7 @@ There are a lot of lies going around.... and half of them are true.
 %
 There are bad times just around the corner,
 There are dark clouds hurtling through the sky
-And it's no good whining 
+And it's no good whining
 About a silver lining
 For we know from experience that they won't roll by...
 		-- Noel Coward
@@ -39021,7 +39021,7 @@ people who find nothing odd about it.
 %
 There are places I'll remember
 All my life though some have changed.
-Some forever not for better 
+Some forever not for better
 Some have gone and some remain.
 All these places had their moments
 With lovers and friends I still recall.
@@ -39051,7 +39051,7 @@ Was that night on the marge of Lake Lebarge
 	I cremated Sam McGee.
 		-- Robert W. Service
 %
-There are ten or twenty basic truths, and life 
+There are ten or twenty basic truths, and life
 is the process of discovering them over and over and over.
 		-- David Nichols
 %
@@ -39073,7 +39073,7 @@ Try to find a pattern.  Then make a wrong guess at the next fact; that's
 science.  Three:  Be aware that you live in a malevolent Universe controlled
 by Murphy's Law, sometimes offset by Brewster's Factor; that's engineering.
 %
-There are three things I have always loved 
+There are three things I have always loved
 and never understood -- art, music, and women.
 %
 There are three things men can do with women:
@@ -39127,7 +39127,7 @@ make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies.
 		-- C.A.R. Hoare
 %
 There are two ways of disliking art.
-One is to dislike it. 
+One is to dislike it.
 The other is to like it rationally.
 		-- Oscar Wilde
 %
@@ -39269,7 +39269,7 @@ There is one lonelier than you.
 %
 There is, in fact, no reason to believe that any given natural phenomenon,
 however marvelous it may seem today, will remain forever inexplicable.
-Soon or late the laws governing the production of life itself will be 
+Soon or late the laws governing the production of life itself will be
 discovered in the laboratory, and man may set up business as a creator
 on his own account.  The thing, indeed, is not only conceivable; it is
 even highly probable.
@@ -39317,10 +39317,10 @@ There is no better way to exercise the imagination than the study of the law.
 No artist ever interpreted nature as freely as a lawyer interprets the truth.
 	-- Jean Giraudoux
 %
-"There is no choice before us. Either we must Succeed in providing 
-the rational coordination of impulses and guts, or for centuries 
-civilization will sink into a mere welter of minor excitements. 
-We must provide a Great Age or see the collapse of the upward 
+"There is no choice before us. Either we must Succeed in providing
+the rational coordination of impulses and guts, or for centuries
+civilization will sink into a mere welter of minor excitements.
+We must provide a Great Age or see the collapse of the upward
 striving of the human race"
 		-- Alfred North Whitehead
 %
@@ -39339,7 +39339,7 @@ There is no distinction between any AI program and some existent game.
 %
 There is no doubt that my lawyer is honest.  For example, when he
 filed his income tax return last year, he declared half of his salary
-as 'unearned income.'
+as "unearned income".
 	-- Michael Lara
 %
 There is no education that is not political.  An apolitical
@@ -39571,7 +39571,7 @@ to hit through, if he was to open both doors.
 %
 There was a phone call for you.
 %
-There was a writer in 'Life' magazine ... who claimed that rabbits have
+There was a writer in "Life" magazine ... who claimed that rabbits have
 no memory, which is one of their defensive mechanisms.  If they recalled
 every close shave they had in the course of just an hour life would become
 insupportable.
@@ -40089,7 +40089,7 @@ This is Betty Frenel.  I don't know who to call but I can't reach my
 Food-a-holics partner.  I'm at Vido's on my second pizza with sausage
 and mushroom.  Jim, come and get me!
 %
-This is clearly another case of too many mad scientists, 
+This is clearly another case of too many mad scientists,
 and not enough hunchbacks.
 %
 This is for all ill-treated fellows
@@ -40380,7 +40380,7 @@ all appearing on a quiz program, were asked to complete this sentence:
 		service station," said the Missourian.
 	"Wrong."
 	"Old MacDonald had a farm," said the Iowan.
-	"CORRECT!" shouts the quizmaster.  "Now for $100,000, spell 'farm.'"
+	"CORRECT!" shouts the quizmaster.  "Now for $100,000, spell `farm'."
 	"Easy," said the Iowan. "E-I-E-I-O."
 %
 Three minutes' thought would suffice to find this out; but thought
@@ -40415,7 +40415,7 @@ Throw away proprietary and site licenses,
 and there won't be any pirating.
 
 If these three aren't enough,
-just stay at your home directory 
+just stay at your home directory
 and let all processes take their course.
 %
 Thus mathematics may be defined as the subject in which we never know
@@ -40697,12 +40697,12 @@ Yabba-Dabba-Doo!
 To be loved is very demoralizing.
 		-- Katharine Hepburn
 %
-to be nobody but yourself in a world 
+to be nobody but yourself in a world
 which is doing its best night and day
 to make you like everybody else
 means to fight the hardest battle
 any human being can fight and
-never stop fighting.                   
+never stop fighting.
 		-- e.e. cummings
 %
 To be nobody-but-yourself in a world which is doing its best to,
@@ -41116,7 +41116,7 @@ Too ripped.  Gotta go.
 Toothpaste never hurts the taste of good scotch.
 %
 Top Ten Things Overheard At The ANSI C Draft Committee Meetings:
- 
+
 10:	Sorry, but that's too useful.
  9:	Dammit, little-endian systems *are* more consistent!
  8:	I'm on the committee and I *still* don't know what the hell
@@ -41128,7 +41128,7 @@ Top Ten Things Overheard At The ANSI C Draft Committee Meetings:
  4:	How many times do we have to tell you, "No prior art!"
  3:	Ha, ha, I can't believe they're actually going to adopt this sucker.
  2:	Thank you for your generous donation, Mr. Wirth.
- 1:	Gee, I wish we hadn't backed down on 'noalias'.
+ 1:	Gee, I wish we hadn't backed down on "noalias".
 %
 Topologists are just plane folks.
 	Pilots are just plane folks.
@@ -41467,10 +41467,10 @@ penguin is dripping in sweat; his owner looks down and says to the other Finn,
 owner then runs off to the sauna.  When he gets out of the sauna, he looks
 up at the porch, and sure enough, there is Urho and the penguin, sweating
 away.  So he yells out "Hey, Urho, I thought I told you to take the penguin to
-the zoo, I did."  And Urho yells back "Yup, and tomorrow we're going to 
+the zoo, I did."  And Urho yells back "Yup, and tomorrow we're going to
 the movies!"
 %
-Two friends were out drinking when suddenly one lurched backward off his 
+Two friends were out drinking when suddenly one lurched backward off his
 barstool and lay motionless on the floor.
 	"One thing about Jim," the other said to the bartender, "he sure
 knows when to stop."
@@ -41480,8 +41480,8 @@ Two heads are better than one.
 %
 Two heads are more numerous than one.
 %
-Two hundred years ago today, Irma Chine of White Plains, New York, was 
-performing her normal housekeeping routines.  She was interrupted by 
+Two hundred years ago today, Irma Chine of White Plains, New York, was
+performing her normal housekeeping routines.  She was interrupted by
 British soldiers who, rallying to the call of their supervisor, General
 Hughes, sought to gain control of the voter registration lists kept in
 her home.  Masking her fear and thinking fast, Mrs. Chine quickly divided
@@ -41994,11 +41994,11 @@ Wanna tell you all a story 'bout a man named Jed,
 A poor mountaineer, barely kept his family fed.
 But then one day he was shootin' at some food,
 When up through the ground come a bubblin' crude -- oil, that is;
-	black gold; 'Texas tea' ...
+	black gold; "Texas tea" ...
 
 Well the next thing ya know, old Jed's a millionaire.
-The kinfolk said, 'Jed, move away from there!'
-They said, 'Californy is the place ya oughta be',
+The kinfolk said, "Jed, move away from there!"
+They said, "Californy is the place ya oughta be",
 So they loaded up the truck and they moved to Beverly -- Hills, that is;
 	swimmin' pools; movie stars.
 %
@@ -42420,8 +42420,8 @@ We must die because we have known them.
 		-- Ptah-hotep, 2000 B.C.
 %
 We must finish once and for all with the neutrality of chess.  We must
-condemn once and for all the formula 'chess for the sake of chess,' like
-the formula 'art for art's sake.'  We must organize shock-brigades of
+condemn once and for all the formula "chess for the sake of chess", like
+the formula "art for art's sake".  We must organize shock-brigades of
 chess-play ers, and begin the immediate realization of a Five-Year Plan
 for chess.
 		-- Nikolai V. Krylenko, People's Commissar for Justice
@@ -42494,7 +42494,7 @@ Each one serves until they screw up, at which point they rotate.
 We should keep the Panama Canal.  After all, we stole it fair and square.
 		-- S.I. Hayakawa
 %
-We should realize that a city is better off with bad laws, so long as they 
+We should realize that a city is better off with bad laws, so long as they
 remain fixed, then with good laws that are constantly being altered, that
 the lack of learning combined with sound common sense is more helpful than
 the kind of cleverness that gets out of hand, and that as a general rule,
@@ -43099,10 +43099,10 @@ And then run?
 Does it stink like rotten meat?
 Or crust and sugar over --
 Like a syrupy sweet?
-  
+
 Maybe it just sags
 Like a heavy load.
-  
+
 Or does it explode?
 		-- Langston Hughes
 %
@@ -43463,7 +43463,7 @@ with as you will.
 What you want, what you're hanging around in the world waiting for, is for
 something to occur to you.
 		-- Robert Frost
- 
+
 	[Quoted in "VMS Internals and Data Structures", V4.4, when
 	 referring to AST's.]
 %
@@ -43707,7 +43707,7 @@ like my grandfather.
 not screaming,
 like the passengers in his car...
 %
-When I drink, *everybody* drinks!" a man shouted to the assembled bar patrons.  A 
+When I drink, *everybody* drinks!" a man shouted to the assembled bar patrons.  A
 loud general cheer went up.  After downing his whiskey, he hopped onto a
 barstool and shouted "When I take another drink, *everybody* takes another
 drink!"  The announcement produced another cheer and another round of drinks.
@@ -43759,7 +43759,7 @@ When I think about myself.		Too poor to break,
 My folks can make me split my side,
 I laughed so hard I nearly died,
 The tales they tell, sound just like lying,
-They grow the fruit, 
+They grow the fruit,
 But eat the rind,
 I laugh until I start to crying,
 When I think about my folks.
@@ -44069,7 +44069,7 @@ When the going gets tough, the tough go shopping.
 When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.
 		-- Hunter S. Thompson
 %
-When the Guru administers, the users 
+When the Guru administers, the users
 are hardly aware that he exists.
 Next best is a sysop who is loved.
 Next, one who is feared.
@@ -44152,7 +44152,7 @@ Double and float cast to each other.
 High-endian and low-endian define each other.
 While and until follow each other.
 
-Therefore the Guru 
+Therefore the Guru
 programs without doing anything
 and teaches without saying anything.
 Warnings arise and he lets them come;
@@ -44513,7 +44513,7 @@ As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
 
 	[Quoted in "VMS Internals and Data Structures", V4.4, when
 	 referring to hardware interrupts.]
- 
+
 And now I see with eye serene
 The very pulse of the machine.
 		-- William Wordsworth, "She Was a Phantom of Delight"
@@ -44664,7 +44664,7 @@ Who's on first?
 Who's scruffy-looking?
 		-- Han Solo
 %
-Why a man would want a wife is a big mystery to some people.  
+Why a man would want a wife is a big mystery to some people.
 Why a man would want *two* wives is a bigamystery.
 %
 Why am I so soft in the middle when the rest of my life is so hard?
@@ -44690,16 +44690,16 @@ I love entertainment
 So long as it's clean.
 
 Professor Doberman:
-	While the preceding poem is unarguably a change from the guarded 
-pessimism of "The Hound of Heaven," it cannot be regarded as an unqualified 
+	While the preceding poem is unarguably a change from the guarded
+pessimism of "The Hound of Heaven," it cannot be regarded as an unqualified
 improvement.  Obscurity is of value only when it tends to clarify the poetic
-experience.  As much as one is compelled to admire the poem's technique, one 
-must question whether its byplay of complex literary allusions does not in 
-fact distract from the unity of the whole.  In the final analysis, one 
-receives the distinct impression that the poem's length could safely have 
+experience.  As much as one is compelled to admire the poem's technique, one
+must question whether its byplay of complex literary allusions does not in
+fact distract from the unity of the whole.  In the final analysis, one
+receives the distinct impression that the poem's length could safely have
 been reduced by a factor of eight or ten without sacrificing any of its
-meaning.  It is to be hoped that further publication of this poem can be 
-suspended pending a thorough investigation of its potential subversive 
+meaning.  It is to be hoped that further publication of this poem can be
+suspended pending a thorough investigation of its potential subversive
 implications.
 %
 Why attack God?  He may be as miserable as we are.
@@ -44872,7 +44872,7 @@ Why won't you let me kiss you goodnight?  Is it something I said?
 %
 Why would anyone want to be called "Later"?
 %
-Why you say you no bunny rabbit when you have little powder-puff tail? 
+Why you say you no bunny rabbit when you have little powder-puff tail?
 		-- The Tasmanian Devil
 %
 Wiker's Law:
@@ -44905,7 +44905,7 @@ Mother cried, "Now, William, stop!"	I haven't the heart to poke poor Billy.
 William with a thirst for gore,		Little Willie mean as hell,
 Nailed the baby to the door.		Threw his sister in the well!
 Mother said, with humor quaint:		Said his mother when drawing water,
-"Careful, Will, don't mar the paint."	'sure is hard to raise a daughter.'
+"Careful, Will, don't mar the paint."	"sure is hard to raise a daughter."
 		-- Harry Graham, "Ruthless Rhymes for Heartless Homes", 1899
 %
 Wilner's Observation:
@@ -45170,7 +45170,7 @@ Women's Libbers are OK, I just wouldn't want my sister to marry one.
 Women's virtue is man's greatest invention.
 		-- Cornelia Otis Skinner
 %
-Wonder is the feeling of a philosopher, 
+Wonder is the feeling of a philosopher,
 and philosophy begins in wonder.
 		Socrates, quoting Plato
 %
@@ -45526,7 +45526,7 @@ X windows:
 	When you can't afford to be right.
 	And you thought we couldn't make it worse.
 
-If it works, it isn't X windows. 
+If it works, it isn't X windows.
 %
 X windows:
 	You'd better sit down.
@@ -46234,7 +46234,7 @@ You get along very well with everyone except animals and people.
 You get what you pay for.
 		-- Gabriel Biel
 %
-You give me space to belong to myself yet without separating me 
+You give me space to belong to myself yet without separating me
 from your own life.  May it all turn out to your happiness.
 		-- Goethe
 %
@@ -46279,7 +46279,7 @@ You have a massage (from the Swedish prime minister).
 %
 You have a message from the operator.
 %
-You have a reputation for being thoroughly reliable and trustworthy. 
+You have a reputation for being thoroughly reliable and trustworthy.
 A pity that it's totally undeserved.
 %
 You have a strong appeal for members of the opposite sex.
@@ -46305,7 +46305,7 @@ You have an ability to sense and know higher truth.
 %
 You have an ambitious nature and may make a name for yourself.
 %
-You have an unusual equipment for success.  
+You have an unusual equipment for success.
 Be sure to use it properly.
 %
 You have an unusual understanding of
@@ -46447,7 +46447,7 @@ You know you're in trouble when...
 You know you're in trouble when...
 1)	Your car horn goes off accidentally and remains stuck as you
 		follow a group of Hell's Angels on the freeway.
-2)	You want to put on the clothes you wore home from the party 
+2)	You want to put on the clothes you wore home from the party
 		and there aren't any.
 3)	Your boss tells you not to bother to take off your coat.
 4)	The bird singing outside your window is a buzzard.
@@ -46455,18 +46455,18 @@ You know you're in trouble when...
 6)	Your mother approves of the person you're dating.
 %
 You know you're in trouble when...
-(1)	Your only son tells you he wishes Anita Bryant would mind 
+(1)	Your only son tells you he wishes Anita Bryant would mind
 		her own business.
 (2)	You put your bra on backwards and it fits better.
 (3)	You call Suicide Prevention and they put you on hold.
 (4)	You see a `60 Minutes' news team waiting in your office.
 (5)	Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.
-(6)	Your 4-year old reveals that it's "almost impossible" to 
+(6)	Your 4-year old reveals that it's "almost impossible" to
 		flush a grapefruit down the toilet.
 (7)	You realize that you've memorized the back of the cereal box.
 %
 You know you're in trouble when...
-(1)	You've been at work for an hour before you notice that your 
+(1)	You've been at work for an hour before you notice that your
 		skirt is caught in your pantyhose.
 (2)	Your blind date turns out to be your ex-wife.
 (3)	Your income tax check bounces.
@@ -46475,7 +46475,7 @@ You know you're in trouble when...
 (6)	You wake up to the soothing sound of flowing water... the day
 		after you bought a waterbed.
 (7)	You go on your honeymoon to a remote little hotel and the desk
-		clerk, bell hop, and manager have a "Welcome Back" party 
+		clerk, bell hop, and manager have a "Welcome Back" party
 		for your spouse.
 %
 You know you've been sitting in front of your Lisp machine too long
@@ -46704,7 +46704,7 @@ You will always have good luck in your personal affairs.
 %
 You will attract cultured and artistic people to your home.
 %
-You will be advanced socially, 
+You will be advanced socially,
 without any special effort on your part.
 %
 You will be aided greatly by a person
@@ -46728,10 +46728,10 @@ You will be given a post of trust and responsibility.
 %
 You will be held hostage by a radical group.
 %
-You will be honored for contributing 
+You will be honored for contributing
 your time and skill to a worthy cause.
 %
-You will be imprisoned for contributing 
+You will be imprisoned for contributing
 your time and skill to a bank robbery.
 %
 You will be married within a year.
diff --git a/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes2-o b/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes2-o
index 4e7bc5bc08e..d0ac22f3d80 100644
--- a/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes2-o
+++ b/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes2-o
@@ -248,19 +248,19 @@ had a few drinks and went back to her place, and well, see..."
 	"Oh yeah?" she says, "let me see your hands...  Don't you lie to me!
 You've been bowling again!"
 %
-	A guy returns from a long trip to Europe, having left his beloved 
-dog in his brother's care.  The minute he's cleared customs, he calls up his 
+	A guy returns from a long trip to Europe, having left his beloved
+dog in his brother's care.  The minute he's cleared customs, he calls up his
 brother and inquires after his pet.
 	"Your dog's dead," replies his brother bluntly.
-	The guy is devastated.  "You know how much that dog meant to me," 
-he moaned into the phone.  "Couldn't you at least have thought of a nicer way 
-of breaking the news?  Couldn't you have said, `Well, you know, the dog got 
-outside one day, and was crossing the street, and a car was speeding around a 
+	The guy is devastated.  "You know how much that dog meant to me,"
+he moaned into the phone.  "Couldn't you at least have thought of a nicer way
+of breaking the news?  Couldn't you have said, `Well, you know, the dog got
+outside one day, and was crossing the street, and a car was speeding around a
 corner...' or something...?  Why are you always so thoughtless?"
 	"Look, I'm sorry," said his brother, "I guess I just didn't think."
 	"Okay, okay, let's just put it behind us.  How are you anyway?
 How's Mom?"
-	His brother is silent a moment.  "Uh," he stammers, "uh... Mom got 
+	His brother is silent a moment.  "Uh," he stammers, "uh... Mom got
 outside one day..."
 %
 	A guy walks into a pub and asks: "Does anyone here own a Doberman?
@@ -317,14 +317,14 @@ NINE shots and NINE beers.  The bartenders says "Damn, boy, doesn't anyone
 in your family like pussy?"
 	"Yeah.  Me and my sister."
 %
-	A man walks into a bar and says: "I'd like a shot of twelve-year-old 
-Scotch".  The bartender, who figures the guy is just being obnoxious, reaches 
+	A man walks into a bar and says: "I'd like a shot of twelve-year-old
+Scotch".  The bartender, who figures the guy is just being obnoxious, reaches
 down under the bar and pours him a shot of bar Scotch.  The man takes one sip
 and says: "Hey, bartender, I asked you for some twelve-year-old Scotch -- this
 is eight-year-old Scotch."
 	The bartender reaches behind the bar for the twelve-year-old Scotch,
 pours a shot, hands it to the man and says "I've got to hand it to you --
-most guys who come in here asking for twelve-year-old Scotch have never even 
+most guys who come in here asking for twelve-year-old Scotch have never even
 had it -- they're just being pricks.  But you really know your Scotch -- this
 is on the house."
 	A drunk has been sitting at the other end of the bar watching this
@@ -365,7 +365,7 @@ hung than *anybody*."
 all night.  By the way, my name is Sue.  What's yours?"
 	"Running Bear Sheldon."
 %
-	A man was traveling cross-country one summer from New York to LA.  
+	A man was traveling cross-country one summer from New York to LA.
 He arrived in Needles, CA late one night and pulled into an Exxon for some
 gas.  When he pulled up to the gas pumps, he noticed that all of the lights
 were off.  Suddenly, he heard a faint sound from outside.  He wasn't sure
@@ -373,16 +373,16 @@ what he'd heard, so he rolled down his window and heard a faint cry,
 "Help... help... help".  He got out of his car, and sure enough there was
 a guy stooped down in the corner, stark naked with his wrists tied to his
 ankles.  He walked up to the guy and said, "Hey, man, what happened to you?"
-	"These guys pulled me out of my car, took my money, my wallet, my 
+	"These guys pulled me out of my car, took my money, my wallet, my
 clothes, tied my wrists to my ankles, and then stole my car!!"
 	"Damn!", replied the first man as he unzipped his pants.  "This just
-hasn't been your day, has it?" 
+hasn't been your day, has it?"
 %
-	A man went to a doctor to have his penis enlarged.  Well, this 
-particular procedure involved splicing a baby elephant's trunk onto the 
-man's penis.  Overjoyed, the man went out with his best girl to a very 
-fancy restaurant.  After cocktails, the man's penis crept out of his pants, 
-felt around the table, grabbed a hard roll and quickly disappeared under 
+	A man went to a doctor to have his penis enlarged.  Well, this
+particular procedure involved splicing a baby elephant's trunk onto the
+man's penis.  Overjoyed, the man went out with his best girl to a very
+fancy restaurant.  After cocktails, the man's penis crept out of his pants,
+felt around the table, grabbed a hard roll and quickly disappeared under
 the tablecloth.  The girl was startled and exclaimed, "What was that?"
 	Suddenly the penis came back, took another hard roll and just as
 quickly disappeared.  The girl was silent for a moment, then finally said,
@@ -391,11 +391,11 @@ quickly disappeared.  The girl was silent for a moment, then finally said,
 like to, but I don't think my ass can take another hard roll!"
 %
 	A Mexican and a Texan worked together for a construction firm, and,
-while they were good friends, they had a friendly rivalry over whose wife 
+while they were good friends, they had a friendly rivalry over whose wife
 was the better cook.  One weekend, as the Texan's wife was out of town, the
 Mexican invited the Texan to have supper with his family.
 	The Texan accepted, and that evening sat down to some the best stew
-that he had ever eaten.  
+that he had ever eaten.
 	"Damn!  That stew is fantastic!" he exclaimed to his host.  "What
 kind of meat is it?"
 	"Rabbeet stew," replied the Mexican.
@@ -404,8 +404,8 @@ kind of meat is it?"
 	"Rabbits don't make any noise..."
 	"Si, my freend, they say meeyow, meeyow!"
 %
-	A mother and her daughter came to the doctor's office.  The mother 
-asked the doctor to examine her daughter.  "She has been having some strange 
+	A mother and her daughter came to the doctor's office.  The mother
+asked the doctor to examine her daughter.  "She has been having some strange
 symptoms and I'm worried about her," the mother said.
 	The doctor examined the daughter carefully.  Then he announced,
 "Madam, I believe your daughter is pregnant."
@@ -414,9 +414,9 @@ girl has never even been out with a man, let alone... let alone..."  She
 turns to the girl and said, "Tell the doctor, Susie!"
 	"Yes, Mumsy," said the girl.  "Doctor, I have never so much as
 kissed a man!"
-	The doctor looked from the mother to daughter, and back again.  Then, 
-silently he stood up and walked to the window.  He stared out.  He continued 
-staring until the mother felt compelled to ask, "Doctor, is there something 
+	The doctor looked from the mother to daughter, and back again.  Then,
+silently he stood up and walked to the window.  He stared out.  He continued
+staring until the mother felt compelled to ask, "Doctor, is there something
 wrong out there?"
 	"No, Madam," said the doctor.  "It's just that the last time anything
 like this happened, a star appeared in the East and I was looking to see if
@@ -514,18 +514,18 @@ this marriage and I would want to be this happy again."
 	The wife asked, "Would you give your new wife my car?"
 	"Yes," he replied.  "That's a good car and it runs well."
 	"Well, would you live in this house?"
-	"Yes, it is a lovely house and you have decorated it beautifully. 
+	"Yes, it is a lovely house and you have decorated it beautifully.
 I've always loved it here."
 	"Well, would you give her my golf clubs?"
 	"No."
 	"Why not?"
 	"She's left handed."
 %
-	A young couple jumped out of their car and dashed into the park.  
-They hurriedly found a secluded spot and began to make frenzied, passionate 
-love.  Shortly thereafter, as they were driving away, the young man turned 
+	A young couple jumped out of their car and dashed into the park.
+They hurriedly found a secluded spot and began to make frenzied, passionate
+love.  Shortly thereafter, as they were driving away, the young man turned
 to her and said, "If I had known you were a virgin, I'd have taken more time."
-	She replied, "If I had known you had more time, I'd have taken off 
+	She replied, "If I had known you had more time, I'd have taken off
 my pantyhose."
 %
 	A young man asked his father to lend him $50 for a blowjob,
@@ -534,7 +534,7 @@ settle for a kiss."
 	The son retorted, "OK, how about $50 for a long low kiss?"
 %
 	After watching an extremely attractive maternity-ward patient
-earnestly thumbing her way through a telephone directory for several 
+earnestly thumbing her way through a telephone directory for several
 minutes, a hospital orderly finally asked if he could be of some help.
 	"No, thanks," smiled the young mother, "I'm just looking for a
 name for my baby."
@@ -581,13 +581,13 @@ yaki-san!"
 	The prime minister turned to the Aggie in surprise and exclaimed,
 "What do you mean, wrong hole?"
 %
-	An American tourist went into a restaurant in a Spanish provincial 
+	An American tourist went into a restaurant in a Spanish provincial
 city and asked to be served the specialty of the house.  When the dish
 arrived he asked what kind of meat it contained.  "These, senor," explained
 the waiter in halting English, "are the cojones -- the, what you say, the
 testicles -- of the bull killed in the ring today.
 	The tourist gulped but tasted the dish and found it delicious.
-Returning the following evening, he asked for the same dish.  When it was 
+Returning the following evening, he asked for the same dish.  When it was
 served, he commented to the waiter, "But these -- these cojones -- are
 much smaller than the ones I had yesterday."
 	"True, senor, but the bull -- he does not ALWAYS lose."
@@ -612,21 +612,21 @@ handsome, young man, with dark hair, dressed in a dashing uniform.
 the woman and whispers into her ear, "Now, aren't you sorry you had me
 fixed?"
 %
-	An Israeli soldier was checking travelers' papers on a road, when a 
-man and a heavily pregnant woman on a donkey came by.  "Your names, please?" 
+	An Israeli soldier was checking travelers' papers on a road, when a
+man and a heavily pregnant woman on a donkey came by.  "Your names, please?"
 said the soldier.
-	"My name is Mary," said the woman.  
-	"And mine is Joseph," said the man.  
+	"My name is Mary," said the woman.
+	"And mine is Joseph," said the man.
 	"Oh," said the soldier, a little taken aback, "And where are you
 going?"
 	"To Bethlehem."
-	"Your reason for going there?" 
+	"Your reason for going there?"
 	"To pay our taxes to the government."
 	"Tell me," said the soldier, "are you going to name the baby Jesus?"
-	"Of course not," said the woman, "What do you think we are, Puerto 
+	"Of course not," said the woman, "What do you think we are, Puerto
 Ricans?"
 %
-	An old maid wanted to travel by bus to the pet cemetery with the 
+	An old maid wanted to travel by bus to the pet cemetery with the
 remains of her cat.  As she boarded the bus, she whispered to the driver,
 "I have a dead pussy."
 	The driver pointed to the woman in the seat behind him and said,
@@ -703,23 +703,23 @@ Ms. W:	"Oh, dear!"
 Chief:	"No deer, me no fuck deer.  Asshole too high and fuckers run
 		too fast."
 %
-	Before he went off to the wars, King Arthur locked his lovely wife, 
-Guinevere, into her chastity belt.  Then he summoned his loyal friend and 
-subject Sir Lancelot.  "Lancelot, noble knight," said Arthur, "within this 
-sturdy belt is imprisoned the virtue of my wife.  The key to this chaste 
+	Before he went off to the wars, King Arthur locked his lovely wife,
+Guinevere, into her chastity belt.  Then he summoned his loyal friend and
+subject Sir Lancelot.  "Lancelot, noble knight," said Arthur, "within this
+sturdy belt is imprisoned the virtue of my wife.  The key to this chaste
 treasure I will entrust to only one man in the world.  To you."
-	Humbled before this great honor, Lancelot knelt, received his king's 
-blessing and took charge of the key.  Arthur mounted his steed and rode off.  
-Not half a mile from his castle, he heard hoofbeats behind him and turned to 
+	Humbled before this great honor, Lancelot knelt, received his king's
+blessing and took charge of the key.  Arthur mounted his steed and rode off.
+Not half a mile from his castle, he heard hoofbeats behind him and turned to
 see Sir Lancelot riding hard to catch up with him.
 	"What is amiss, my friend?" asked the king.
 	"My lord," gasped Lancelot, "you have given me the wrong key!"
 %
-	Bill had just returned from a week of honeymooning, and his best 
+	Bill had just returned from a week of honeymooning, and his best
 friend asked him how it went.
-	"The first night we did it nine times," Bill said.  "The second 
-night, eight times.  The third night, seven times.  The fourth night, six 
-times.  The fifth night, five times.  The sixth night, four times, and the 
+	"The first night we did it nine times," Bill said.  "The second
+night, eight times.  The third night, seven times.  The fourth night, six
+times.  The fifth night, five times.  The sixth night, four times, and the
 last night, nothing!"
 	"Nothing?" his pal asked.  "How come?"
 	"Hey, you ever tried putting a marshmallow in a parking meter?"
@@ -739,8 +739,8 @@ unto a snowball in Hell."
 	But the reward of a successful collaboration is a thing that
 cannot be produced by either of the parties working alone.  It is akin
 to the benefits of sex with a partner, as opposed to masturbation.  The
-latter is fun, but you show me anyone who has gotten a baby from playing 
-with him or herself, and I'll show you an ugly baby, with just a whole 
+latter is fun, but you show me anyone who has gotten a baby from playing
+with him or herself, and I'll show you an ugly baby, with just a whole
 bunch of knuckles.
 		-- Harlan Ellison
 %
@@ -788,7 +788,7 @@ the way, if you see your Mom this weekend, would be you sure and tell her,
 	Nov 9		Korean War Amputees
 	Nov 15		VA Hospital Polio Patients
 %
-	"Darling," he breathed, "after making love I doubt if I'll 
+	"Darling," he breathed, "after making love I doubt if I'll
 be able to get over you -- so would you mind answering the phone?"
 %
 	"Darling", said the young bride, "tell me what's bothering you.
@@ -809,11 +809,11 @@ to the Personal Ads in the back of her local paper.  In the ad she made it
 quite clear that what she was advertising for was an expert lover; she already
 had plenty of sensitive friends and meaningful relationships and what she
 now wanted was to get laid, to put it bluntly.  Phone calls started coming
-in, with each caller testifying to his sexual prowess, but none quite struck 
-the young woman's fancy.  Until one night her doorbell rang.  Opening the door 
-she found a man with no arms or legs, who informed her that he was there in 
-response to her advertisement.  "I'm terribly sorry," she stammered, "but my 
-ad was quite explicit.  I'm really looking for something of a sexual expert, 
+in, with each caller testifying to his sexual prowess, but none quite struck
+the young woman's fancy.  Until one night her doorbell rang.  Opening the door
+she found a man with no arms or legs, who informed her that he was there in
+response to her advertisement.  "I'm terribly sorry," she stammered, "but my
+ad was quite explicit.  I'm really looking for something of a sexual expert,
 and you... uh... don't have all the..."
 	"Listen," the man interrupted her, "I rang the doorbell, didn't I?"
 %
@@ -829,29 +829,29 @@ They used Raoul-Mitgong but he wasn't much help.  They used applied physics.
 They used techniques of criminology.  And what the hell, they caught him.
 		-- Harlan Ellison, "Repent, Harlequin, said the Tick-Tock Man"
 %
-	During a grouse hunt in North Carolina two intrepid sportsmen were 
-blasting away at a clump of trees near a stone wall.  Suddenly a red-face 
-country squire popped his head over the wall and shouted, "Hey, you almost 
+	During a grouse hunt in North Carolina two intrepid sportsmen were
+blasting away at a clump of trees near a stone wall.  Suddenly a red-face
+country squire popped his head over the wall and shouted, "Hey, you almost
 hit my wife."
 	"Did I?" cried one hunter, aghast.  "Terribly sorry.  Have a shot
 at mine, over there."
 %
-	During a session with a marriage counselor, the wife snapped at her 
+	During a session with a marriage counselor, the wife snapped at her
 husband: "That's not true, I do enjoy sex!"  Then, turning to the counselor,
 she added: "But this fiend expects it three or four times a year!"
 %
-	Ed, a traveling salesman, had his car break down in the middle of a 
-blizzard.  He trudged to a nearby farmhouse where the farmer told him that, 
-while they were short of beds, he could sleep with his daughter.  She proved 
-to be eighteen and beautiful.   So they went to bed, and shortly, Ed made a 
-pass at the daughter.  "Stop that!" she said.  "I'll call my father."  
-	He desisted.  But half an hour later he made another attempt.  "Uh, 
+	Ed, a traveling salesman, had his car break down in the middle of a
+blizzard.  He trudged to a nearby farmhouse where the farmer told him that,
+while they were short of beds, he could sleep with his daughter.  She proved
+to be eighteen and beautiful.   So they went to bed, and shortly, Ed made a
+pass at the daughter.  "Stop that!" she said.  "I'll call my father."
+	He desisted.  But half an hour later he made another attempt.  "Uh,
 stop ... that," she said.  "I'll call my father."
 	But she moved closer to him, so he made a third try.  This time, no
-protest, no threat.  Just as Ed, satisfied, was about to drowse off, she 
-tugged at his pajama sleeve.  "Could we do that again?" she asked.  
-	Ed obliged, and this time fell asleep only to be awakened by the 
-tug at his sleeve.  "Again?"  
+protest, no threat.  Just as Ed, satisfied, was about to drowse off, she
+tugged at his pajama sleeve.  "Could we do that again?" she asked.
+	Ed obliged, and this time fell asleep only to be awakened by the
+tug at his sleeve.  "Again?"
 	And again Ed obliged.  But when his sleep was once more interrupted
 by the tugging at his pajama sleeve, Ed indignantly pulled it away from her
 and mumbled, "Stop that!  Or I'll call your father."
@@ -884,27 +884,27 @@ of 5 hours and 26 minutes.  Mr. Mellor's claims that being the champion is
 not so much heroism but, "You just got to be able to have your tool bitten
 and not care."
 %
-	Every morning, the crowd on Coney Island beach was startled to see 
-a jogger with the build of a pro football player but a head the size of a 
+	Every morning, the crowd on Coney Island beach was startled to see
+a jogger with the build of a pro football player but a head the size of a
 baseball.  Finally, some brave young man got up the nerve to stop him and
 ask, "What happened to give you such a small head?"
-	The jogger sadly told the story of finding a magic lamp on the beach, 
+	The jogger sadly told the story of finding a magic lamp on the beach,
 which produced a beautiful genie when rubbed.  The genie said, "I now give
 you one wish.  Do you want a quick fuck or a little head?"
 %
-	Everyone in the smart nightclub was amazed by the old gentleman, 
-obviously pushing 70, tossing off manhattans and cavorting around the dance 
-floor like a 20-year old.  Finally curiousity got the best of the cigarette 
+	Everyone in the smart nightclub was amazed by the old gentleman,
+obviously pushing 70, tossing off manhattans and cavorting around the dance
+floor like a 20-year old.  Finally curiousity got the best of the cigarette
 girl.  "I beg your pardon, sir," she said, "but I'm amazed to see a gentleman
 of your age living it up like a youngster.  Tell me, are all of your faculties
 unimpaired?"
-	The old fellow looked up at the girl sadly and shook his head.  "Not 
-all, I'm afraid." he said.  "Just last evening I went nightclubbing with a 
-girlfriend -- we drank and danced all night and finally rolled into her place 
+	The old fellow looked up at the girl sadly and shook his head.  "Not
+all, I'm afraid." he said.  "Just last evening I went nightclubbing with a
+girlfriend -- we drank and danced all night and finally rolled into her place
 about two A.M.  We went to bed immediately, and I was asleep almost as soon
 as my head hit the pillow.  I woke around three-thirty and nudged my girl."
 	"Why, George," she said in surprise, "we did that fifteen minutes ago."
-	"So you see," the old boy said sadly, "my memory is beginning to 
+	"So you see," the old boy said sadly, "my memory is beginning to
 fail me."
 %
 	Farmer Johnson was drunk again.
@@ -918,7 +918,7 @@ could get it up once in a while we could get rid of your brother Bob."
 	"First, I'm going to buy you a few drinks and get you a little tight,"
 said the guy aggressively.
 	"Oh, no, you're not," said the girl.
-	"Then I'll take you to dinner at the most exclusive restaurant in 
+	"Then I'll take you to dinner at the most exclusive restaurant in
 town."
 	"Oh, no, you won't."
 	"Then I'll take you to my apartment and mix up a pitcher of daiquiris."
@@ -947,27 +947,27 @@ such as a "pride of lions" or a "gaggle of geese."
 	One of the professors noticed a group of prostitutes down the block,
 and posed the question, "What name would be given to that group?"  The four
 fell into silence for a moment, as they pondered the possibilities...
-	At last, one spoke: "How about 'a Jam of Tarts'?"  The others nodded
+	At last, one spoke: "How about `a Jam of Tarts'?"  The others nodded
 in acknowledgement as they continued to consider the problem.  A second
-professor spoke: "I'd suggest 'an Essay of Trollops.'"  Again, the others
-nodded.  A third spoke: "I propose 'a Flourish of Strumpets.'"
+professor spoke: "I'd suggest `an Essay of Trollops'."  Again, the others
+nodded.  A third spoke: "I propose `a Flourish of Strumpets'."
 	They continued their walk in silence, until the first professor
 remarked to the remaining professor, who was the most senior and learned of
 the four, "You haven't suggested a name for our ladies.  What are your
 thoughts?"
-	Replied the fourth professor, "'An Anthology of Prose.'"
+	Replied the fourth professor, "`An Anthology of Prose'."
 %
-	Friends were surprised, indeed, when Frank and Jennifer broke their 
-engagement, but Frank had a ready explanation: "Would you marry someone who 
-was habitually unfaithful, who lied at every turn, who was selfish and lazy 
+	Friends were surprised, indeed, when Frank and Jennifer broke their
+engagement, but Frank had a ready explanation: "Would you marry someone who
+was habitually unfaithful, who lied at every turn, who was selfish and lazy
 and sarcastic?"
 	"Of course not," said a sympathetic friend.
 	"Well," retorted Frank, "neither would Jennifer."
 %
 	"Gentlemen of the jury," said the defense attorney, now beginning
 to warm to his summation, "the real question here before you is, shall this
-beautiful young woman be forced to languish away her loveliest years in a 
-dark prison cell?  Or shall she be set free to return to her cozy little 
+beautiful young woman be forced to languish away her loveliest years in a
+dark prison cell?  Or shall she be set free to return to her cozy little
 apartment at 4134 Mountain Ave. -- there to spend her lonely, loveless hours
 in her boudoir, lying beside her little Princess phone, 962-7873?"
 %
@@ -987,7 +987,7 @@ differences once and for all.
 	When Satan heard of this, he grinned and said, "And just
 where do you think you're going to find a lawyer?"
 %
-	Harry, a golfing enthusiast if there ever was one, arrived home 
+	Harry, a golfing enthusiast if there ever was one, arrived home
 from the club to an irate, ranting wife.
 	"I'm leaving you, Harry," his wife announced bitterly.  "You
 promised me faithfully that you'd be back before six and here it is almost
@@ -1003,7 +1003,7 @@ the next 15 holes, it was hit the ball, drag Fred, hit the ball, drag Fred...
 No matter how bad the situation, he would always say, "Well, it could have
 been worse."
 	To cure him of his annoying habit, his friends decided to invent a
-situation so completely black, so dreadful, that even Harry could find no 
+situation so completely black, so dreadful, that even Harry could find no
 hope in it.  Approaching him at the club bar one day, one of them said,
 "Harry!  Did you hear what happened to George?  He came home last night,
 found his wife in bed with another man, shot them both, and then turned
@@ -1050,7 +1050,7 @@ to a dead cat, do you?"
 		-- Monty Python
 %
 	"Hello, Police Department."
-	"This is Thomas Parrish, 903 Sylvester Court.  I've just been sexually 
+	"This is Thomas Parrish, 903 Sylvester Court.  I've just been sexually
 molested by a pervert, right here in my own home.  It was horrifying!"
 	"Just remain calm, sir, and tell me about it."
 	"Well, the man came in the window wearing a ski mask.  I was napping
@@ -1058,11 +1058,11 @@ on the bed, in just my pajamas, and the TV set was on so I didn't hear anything.
 Suddenly he had his great big old callused hand over my mouth, holding me down.
 I tried to scream... he was pulling my pants off.  I was so frightened!  He
 held a knife to my throat and undressed so quickly.  What could I do?  I
-couldn't stop him.  He was huge.  A great, hairy, beefy man, more than fifty 
+couldn't stop him.  He was huge.  A great, hairy, beefy man, more than fifty
 pounds heavier than I am, and hung like... Oh! it was terrible.  He had an
 erection, and he knelt on my shoulders and forced the awful thing down my
 throat; forced me to suck it.  Yes, officer!  There was no escaping this man.
-Finally, when I thought I would faint, he got off me and turned me over on 
+Finally, when I thought I would faint, he got off me and turned me over on
 my tummy, forcing my legs apart with his knees, and oh! I'm so embarrassed to
 say it, he put that huge thing...  It must have been a foot long, and I don't
 know how thick... into my...  Just a minute."
@@ -1293,18 +1293,18 @@ Assume that she bought them at a flea  market.
 people who write the resumes.  No resume ever tells an employer how many
 times a job applicant has had the clap.
 	Why, indeed, would anyone hire a person based on a resume written
-by a professional liar? 
+by a professional liar?
 	If the applicant is a man, the employer must ask only one question:
 did the applicant go to TCU?
 	If the applicant is a woman, the employer may simply ask: does she
 have a tongue that can lick the paint off a dormitory wall?
 		-- Dan Jenkins, "Baja Oklahoma"
 %
-	On the occasion of Nero's 25th birthday, he arrived at the Colosseum 
-to find that the Praetorian Guard had prepared a treat for him in the arena.  
-There stood 25 naked virgins, like candles on a cake, tied to poles, burning 
-alive.  "Wonderful!" exclaimed the deranged emperor, "but one of them isn't 
-dead yet.  I can see her lips moving.  Go quickly and find out what she is 
+	On the occasion of Nero's 25th birthday, he arrived at the Colosseum
+to find that the Praetorian Guard had prepared a treat for him in the arena.
+There stood 25 naked virgins, like candles on a cake, tied to poles, burning
+alive.  "Wonderful!" exclaimed the deranged emperor, "but one of them isn't
+dead yet.  I can see her lips moving.  Go quickly and find out what she is
 saying."
 	The centurion saluted, and hurried out to the virgin, getting as near
 the flames as he dared, and listened intently.  Then he turned and ran back
@@ -1676,7 +1676,7 @@ farewell is consummated between the sheets.
  	As he's putting his pants on, Mrs. Jones reaches into her nightstand,
 pulls out a dollar bill, and hands it to him.  Reacting to his astonished
 look, she says, "Well, I told my husband that you were retiring and that
-we should do something for you.  He said 'Fuck him.  Give him a dollar!'"
+we should do something for you.  He said `Fuck him.  Give him a dollar!'"
 She pauses and smiles proudly. "The lunch was MY idea."
 %
 	The other day my girlfriend and I were going to a party and on the
@@ -1781,7 +1781,7 @@ the Church after something like that."
 into Safeway anymore either."
 %
 	There was an Englishman, a Frenchman, and a Newfoundlander sitting in
-a bar having a few drinks together. 
+a bar having a few drinks together.
 	The Englishman turns to the Frenchman, "So tell me, what do you do to
 drive your wife wild in bed?"
 	"Well", replies the Frenchman, "After we make love, I go out to the
@@ -1804,10 +1804,10 @@ nudged the second and said, "Hey, look at that!  That really looks like fun
 it once, and the damn dog bit me!"
 %
 	"They spend years searching for their natural parents, convinced their
-parents will be happy to see them.  I mean, really, can you imagine someone 
+parents will be happy to see them.  I mean, really, can you imagine someone
 being happy to see an orphan?  Nobody wants them... that's why they're orphans!"
 	The speaker is Anne Baker, founder and guiding force behind
-Orphan-Off, an organization dedicated to keeping orphans confused about the 
+Orphan-Off, an organization dedicated to keeping orphans confused about the
 whereabouts of their natural parents.  She is a woman with a mission:
 	"Basically, what we do is band together to exchange information
 about which orphans are looking for which parents in what part of the
@@ -1816,10 +1816,10 @@ country.  We're completely computerized.
 leads as possible.  We'll tell some twenty-three-year-old loser that his
 real parents can be found at a certain address on the other side of the
 country.  Well, by the time the kid shows up, the family is prepared.  They
-look over the kid's photos and information and they say, 'Oh, the Emersons...
+look over the kid's photos and information and they say, `Oh, the Emersons...
 yeah, they used to live here... I think they moved out about five years ago.
 I think they went to Iowa, or maybe Idaho.'
-	"Bam, the door shuts in the kid's face and he's back to zero again.  
+	"Bam, the door shuts in the kid's face and he's back to zero again.
 He's got nothing to go on but the orphan's pathetic determination to continue.
 	"It's really amazing how much these kids will put up with.  Last year
 we even sent one kid all the way to Australia.  I mean, really.  Besides, if
@@ -1892,37 +1892,37 @@ arrested for selling ties illegally.  "And you," he said, "what do you do
 for a living?"
 	"Your honor, I'm a prostitute.  I'm not proud..."
 %
-	Two buddies had been out drinking for hours when their money finally 
+	Two buddies had been out drinking for hours when their money finally
 ran out.  "I have an idea," croaked Al.  "Lesh go over to my housh and borrow
 shum money from my wife."
-	The two of them reeled into Al's living room, snapped on the light, 
+	The two of them reeled into Al's living room, snapped on the light,
 and lo and behold, there was Al's wife making love on the sofa to another man.
-This state of affairs considerably unnerved Al's friend but didn't seem to 
+This state of affairs considerably unnerved Al's friend but didn't seem to
 affect the husband.
 	"Shay, dear, you have any money for your ever-lovin' hushban?" he
 asked.
 	"Yes, yes," she snapped.  "Take my purse from the mantle, and for
 Pete's sake, turn off those lights."
-	Outside they examined the purse, and Al proudly announced, "There's 
+	Outside they examined the purse, and Al proudly announced, "There's
 enough here for a pint for you and a pint for me.  Pretty good, eh, old buddy?"
 	"But, Al," protested his friend, somewhat sobered by the spectacle
 he'd just witnessed, "what about that fellow back there with your wife?"
 	"The hell with him," replied Al.  "Let him buy his own pint."
 %
-	Two Englishmen struck up a conversation with an American in the club 
+	Two Englishmen struck up a conversation with an American in the club
 car of a train headed east out of Chicago.
 	"I say," queried the younger Englishman, "have you ever been to
 London?"
-	The American laughed.  "It was my home for two years during the war," 
+	The American laughed.  "It was my home for two years during the war,"
 he said.  "Had some of the wildest times of my life in that old town."
 	The older Englishman, a little hard of hearing, asked, "What did
 he say, Reggie?"
 	"He said he's been to London, father," the younger Englishman
 replied.
-	After a little lull in the conversation, the young man asked, "You 
+	After a little lull in the conversation, the young man asked, "You
 didn't, by any chance, meet a Hazel Wimbleton in London, did you?"
-	The American almost fell off his chair.  "Hot Pants Hazel!" he 
-exclaimed.  "My God, I shacked up with that horny broad for three months 
+	The American almost fell off his chair.  "Hot Pants Hazel!" he
+exclaimed.  "My God, I shacked up with that horny broad for three months
 just before I came back to the States!"
 	"What did he say, Reggie?" the older Englishman wanted to know.
 	"He says he knows Mother," the younger Englishman responded.
@@ -1931,7 +1931,7 @@ just before I came back to the States!"
 were rear-ended by a huge semi.  Somewhat shaken, they maneuvered over to the
 side of the road, where Phil instructed Larry to get out and confront the truck
 driver.  "Tell him we're going to sue, sue, sue!" he shrieked.
-	Obligingly, Larry got out and went around to the cab of the truck to 
+	Obligingly, Larry got out and went around to the cab of the truck to
 deliver this message to the huge, burly driver, whose response was to snarl,
 "Ah, why doncha suck my cock."
 	"Phil," said Larry, coming back to their car, "I think we're going
@@ -1948,26 +1948,26 @@ and turns to the younger brother.  "What'll you have?"
 	"I dunno," quavers the six-year-old, "but you can bet your ass
 it ain't gonna be Cheerios."
 %
-	Two longtime friends sipped Scotch in a local bar and talked about 
+	Two longtime friends sipped Scotch in a local bar and talked about
 their troubles.  "And on top of everything else," said the first, "my wife
 has cut me down to just once a week."
-	"That's too bad," agreed his friend, "but it could be worse.  I know 
+	"That's too bad," agreed his friend, "but it could be worse.  I know
 two guys she's cut off altogether.
 %
-	Two morticians alternated in sharing the responsibility of covering 
-the night shift. One early morning about 3:00 am, a body was brought into the 
-mortuary, and the mortician began work.  When he had unclothed the corpse, he 
-noticed a cork in the anus. Removing it, the strains of "Hello, Dolly, well, 
-hello, Dolly...!" were plainly heard being sung.  He put the cork back, and 
-the singing stopped. Pulling it out again, the same song started, "You're 
-lookin' swell, Dolly!".  Amazed, he telephoned his partner, and insisted he 
+	Two morticians alternated in sharing the responsibility of covering
+the night shift. One early morning about 3:00 am, a body was brought into the
+mortuary, and the mortician began work.  When he had unclothed the corpse, he
+noticed a cork in the anus. Removing it, the strains of "Hello, Dolly, well,
+hello, Dolly...!" were plainly heard being sung.  He put the cork back, and
+the singing stopped. Pulling it out again, the same song started, "You're
+lookin' swell, Dolly!".  Amazed, he telephoned his partner, and insisted he
 come immediately to see something very unusual. Roused from sleep, the partner
-asked if it could wait until morning. It took great persistence, but finally 
-the partner agreed to dress and come down to the shop.  When he got there, he 
-said, "Now what was it that was so important you had to get me out of bed at 
-this ungodly hour?" 
+asked if it could wait until morning. It took great persistence, but finally
+the partner agreed to dress and come down to the shop.  When he got there, he
+said, "Now what was it that was so important you had to get me out of bed at
+this ungodly hour?"
 	The man said, "Come into the embalming room."
-	They go into the embalming room, and the first partner says, "Now 
+	They go into the embalming room, and the first partner says, "Now
 watch."
 	He pulls out the cork, and the anus takes off singing again. The
 partner looks at him disgustedly and says:  "You brought me down here at
@@ -2050,7 +2050,7 @@ Rumania.
 		-- Cynthia Hemiel, "Sex Tips for Girls"
 %
 	While hunting, a man saw a beautiful nude woman come running out of
-the woods and disappear across the clearing.  Just as she got out of sight, 
+the woods and disappear across the clearing.  Just as she got out of sight,
 three men dressed in white uniforms came running out of the same woods.
 "Hey, you," yelled one of them, "did you see a woman come by here?"
 	"Yes," replied the hunter.  "What's the trouble?"
@@ -2104,7 +2104,7 @@ his pal.  "Well, buddy-boy," he said, "I'm afraid she's cheating on us."
 be anything else?"
 %
 	You see, this girl wakes up one morning, rolls over and sees an
-elephant in the bed with her.  Almost in shock, she says, "Did I pick you 
+elephant in the bed with her.  Almost in shock, she says, "Did I pick you
 up in the bar last night?"
 	"Uh-huh," the  elephant replies.
 	"Did I bring you home?"
@@ -2304,13 +2304,13 @@ And bring me back ma prick.		I canna wait for him to die
  5. A beer won't accuse you of lying when you say you read Playboy
 	"just for the articles".
  6. Beer doesn't mind seeing Chuck Norris and Charles Bronson flicks.
- 7.  Beer doesn't always want to go to the 'powder room' with everyone
+ 7. Beer doesn't always want to go to the "powder room" with everyone
 	else's beer.
  8. When you're through with a beer, the thought of another beer doesn't
 	make you ill.
 %
-A '49er walked into the saloon at Bloody Gulch.  He'd been prospecting for 
-more than a year.  
+A '49er walked into the saloon at Bloody Gulch.  He'd been prospecting for
+more than a year.
 	"Hey!  Y'got any wimmen around here?"
 	"Nope," the bartender replied, "But there's George in the back room."
 	"I don't go for that kind of thing," the prospector scowled.  He
@@ -2319,7 +2319,7 @@ A few months passed before the miner found his way down the mountain again.
 He stumbled into the tavern and asked the bartender, "Any wimmen pass through
 this part of town?"
 	"Nope.  Nary a one.  But we still got George in the back room."
-	Angry, the miner shouted, "I told you I don't go for that kind of 
+	Angry, the miner shouted, "I told you I don't go for that kind of
 thing," and turned on his heel and left.
 	Within a year he came back from his mine again.  With a wild look on
 his face he re-entered the saloon.  Leaning over the bar he whispered to the
@@ -2396,7 +2396,7 @@ Is loved by a fellow named Ikey.
 Is his prick, which is dreadfully spikey.
 %
 A beautiful man is paradise for the eyes, hell for the soul, and
-purgatory for the purse. 
+purgatory for the purse.
 %
 A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to see a gynecologist.  The doctor takes
 one look at this woman and his professionalism is a thing of the past.  Right
@@ -2780,9 +2780,9 @@ shocked at his approach.  Finally, the man approaches a pretty brunette and
 they hit it off immediately.  After a bit of quiet conversation, she handed
 the young man her hotel key and they started off for the elevators.  As they
 passed the drunk, he stopped the lucky one and asked him what his method was.
-	"Well," the man replied, "It's simple.  You say 'Tickle your ass
+	"Well," the man replied, "It's simple.  You say `Tickle your ass
 with a feather?'  If she sounds interested, you take it from there.  If she
-sounds angry, you smile and say 'Typically nasty weather.'"
+sounds angry, you smile and say `Typically nasty weather.'"
 	The drunk says "Ohhhhh, got it, I got it!" and walks over to a woman
 at the end of the bar to try out his new approach.  Getting her attention,
 he smiles and says "Fuck me!"
@@ -2842,15 +2842,15 @@ speak to the class.  The guy was more than happy to talk, and began with
 a story about a morning patrol where he had been nearly shot down.
 	"We had been up for about 20 minutes flying over enemy held
 territory, when we noticed, just in time, 3 fokkers diving on us from above."
-At the first mention of `fokkers' the class giggled a little bit.
+At the first mention of "fokkers" the class giggled a little bit.
 	"Our group broke formation, and began the dog-fighting.  As we
 fought, we noticed 2 more fokkers coming at us from above and 2 more
-fokkers, fresh from the landing field, come to join the battle".
-At this second and third mention of `fokkers' the class was almost laughing
+fokkers, fresh from the landing field, come to join the battle."
+At this second and third mention of "fokkers" the class was almost laughing
 openly, and the teacher interrupted the story to ask the pilot to explain
-to the class that a 'fokker' was a particular type of plane flown by the
+to the class that a "fokker" was a particular type of plane flown by the
 German Air Force.
-	He replied, "Ya, dat is true, but these fokkers were Messerschmidts".
+	He replied, "Ya, dat is true, but these fokkers were Messerschmidts."
 %
 A group of scientists discovered an apelike creature in the jungle, which
 they hoped would prove to be the missing link.  The proof of their theory,
@@ -3016,7 +3016,7 @@ Flannery was presiding, and on the witness stand was Tush Bumpass.
 backed 'er up agin' thet there wall, and ef Ah ever sawed a screwin' match,
 thet one wuz!"
 	"Mr. Bumpass," the Judge interrupted, "I'd prefer that you not use
-the word 'screw' in the courtroom. Say 'intercourse' instead."
+the word `screw' in the courtroom. Say `intercourse' instead."
 	Tush looked puzzled. "Intercourse?  Whut's thet, Judge?"
 	His Honor sighed.  "It's a technicality of language that you're
 probably not aware of.  Never mind.  Please continue."
@@ -3527,12 +3527,12 @@ and wanted some companionship, so after a good deal of thought she decided
 to visit the local pet shop.  The owner suggested a parrot, with which she
 could conduct a civilized conversation.  This seemed to be an excellent
 idea, so she bought a handsome parrot, sat him on a perch in her living room,
-and said, "Say 'Pretty boy.'"  Silence from the bird.  "Come on now, say
-'Pretty boy ... pretty boy.'"
+and said, "Say `Pretty boy'."  Silence from the bird.  "Come on now, say
+`Pretty boy ... pretty boy.'"
 	At long last, disgustedly, the bird said, "Oh, shit."
 	Shocked, the schoolteacher said, "Just for that, you get five minutes
 in the refrigerator."  Five minutes later she put the shivering bird back on
-its perch and said, "Now let's hear it: 'Pretty boy ... pretty boy.'"
+its perch and said, "Now let's hear it: `Pretty boy ... pretty boy'."
 	"Damn it, wouldja lay off, lady?" said the parrot.
 	Outraged, the woman grabbed the bird, said, "That's it!  Ten minutes
 in the freezer," and slammed the door on him.
@@ -3622,7 +3622,7 @@ attendant.
 	"Young man," she began, "do North American porcupines have sharper
 pricks than those raised in Africa?"
 	The attendant hesitated for a moment.  "Well, ma'am," he answered,
-"the African porcupine's quills are sharper... but I think their pricks are 
+"the African porcupine's quills are sharper... but I think their pricks are
 about the same."
 %
 A stranger had just arrived in the mining town and was spending the evening at
@@ -3889,7 +3889,7 @@ AC/DC is a rock band.
 Achilles' Biological Findings:
 	(1)  If a child looks like his father, that's heredity.
 	     If he looks like a neighbor, that's environment.
-	(2)  A lot of time has been wasted arguing over what came first 
+	(2)  A lot of time has been wasted arguing over what came first
 	     -- the chicken or the egg.  It was undoubtedly the rooster.
 %
 Adam's Law:
@@ -3898,7 +3898,7 @@ Adam's Law:
 	(2)  Men know very well what they want;
 	     having got it, they begin to lose interest.
 %
-Admittedly, there are a lot of things that are better than sex, 
+Admittedly, there are a lot of things that are better than sex,
 and a lot more that are worse; but there's nothing quite like it...
 %
 Adopting the metric system would have certain psychological advantages --
@@ -3929,8 +3929,8 @@ for a while, and then kissed on the couch.  A little fondling, some feeling
 and petting ... to which the young lady lent herself shyly ... and then they
 were in the wide, cool bed, naked together.  They chatted more, established
 a communion, a rapport the older man considered remarkably gratifying.  The
-girl seemed sympatico, innocent, good.  
-	"Yes, that was it," he thought, "essentially good.  Why, she could 
+girl seemed sympatico, innocent, good.
+	"Yes, that was it," he thought, "essentially good.  Why, she could
 be my own daughter."  He smiled into the young girl's deep blue eyes.
 	"Tell me," he asked, his hand on her breast, "What's a nice girl
 like you doing in a hotel like this?"
@@ -4094,7 +4094,7 @@ crime?  Who enjoys his job today?  You?  Me?  Anybody?  The only satisfying
 part of any job is coffee break, lunch hour and quitting time.  Years ago
 there was at least the hope of improvement -- eventual promotion -- more
 important jobs to come.  Once you can be sold the myth that you may make
-president of the company you'll hardly ever steal stamps.  But nobody 
+president of the company you'll hardly ever steal stamps.  But nobody
 believes he's going to be president anymore.  The more people change jobs
 the more they realize that there is a direct connection between working for
 a living and total stupefying boredom.  So why NOT take revenge?  You're not
@@ -4189,7 +4189,7 @@ America's two greatest inventions are finger-fucking and carpet-bombing.
 An 11 is a 10 who doesn't have headaches.
 %
 An American, a Frenchman, and a Vietnamese refugee had a discussion about
-the happiness of life.  
+the happiness of life.
 	"To me, happiness is returning home on a Monday evening, having a wonderful
 dinner prepared by my wife, then slouching on the sofa watching Monday Night
 Football," the American said.
@@ -4199,13 +4199,13 @@ romantic dinner on top of the Eiffel tower.  That is happiness of life."
 	"You call those things happiness", the Vietnamese laughed, "then you
 two still don't understand life at all.  Imagine this.  You are sleeping
 soundly at night in Saigon.  Then suddenly you hear loud knocks on your front
-door.  You hear loud voices, 'Mr. Nguyen Van Binh, open the door!'.  Quaking
+door.  You hear loud voices, `Mr. Nguyen Van Binh, open the door!'  Quaking
 with fear, you rush out and open the door.  Right there, you see two secret
-policemen ready to handcuff you.  One of them says to you, 'Mr. Nguyen Van
+policemen ready to handcuff you.  One of them says to you, `Mr. Nguyen Van
 Binh, you are under arrest for your anti-revolutionary activities.  You are
 being sent to the re-educational camp tonight!'  Sweating profusely and
-shaking uncontrollably, you reply to them, 'Comrades, Mr. Nguyen Van Binh 
-lives next door.'  That moment is happiness in life, my friends.
+shaking uncontrollably, you reply to them, `Comrades, Mr. Nguyen Van Binh
+lives next door.'  That moment is happiness in life, my friends."
 %
 An American businessman in London was given special visitor's privileges at an
 exclusive men's club.  Striding in one afternoon, the American approached the
@@ -4276,7 +4276,7 @@ who has seen the Managing Director face on).
 		-- Katherine Whitehorn, "Roundabout"
 %
 And do you not think that each of you women is an Eve?  The judgement of God
-upon your sex endures today; and with it invariably endures your position of 
+upon your sex endures today; and with it invariably endures your position of
 criminal at the bar of justice.
 		-- Tertullian, second-century Christian writer
 %
@@ -4374,14 +4374,14 @@ there, but the third nun wouldn't touch it.
 %
 Another stupid gay joke!!!
 	You see, this gay man walks into a Texas bar and orders a strawberry
-daiquiri.  The bartender looks him over with amusement and says: "We don't 
+daiquiri.  The bartender looks him over with amusement and says: "We don't
 serve your kind, buddy, why don't you get out of here before the boys come
 in and kick your ass?"
 	The guy whimpers a little and lisps, "Pleasse misssture I am soooo
 thurstay...."
 	Well, the bartender feels somewhat sorry for him and hands him a beer
-on the house on the condition that he drink it in the back and leave as soon 
-as he's done.  A little while later, a hulking cowboy walks in and up to the 
+on the house on the condition that he drink it in the back and leave as soon
+as he's done.  A little while later, a hulking cowboy walks in and up to the
 bar.  He slams his fist on the bar and hollers, "I'm so thirsty, I could
 lick the sweat off of a bulls' balls!"
 	From the back of the bar comes the cry...  "Moo, moo, buckaroooooo!!!"
@@ -4489,7 +4489,7 @@ the local officials for information on local traffic rules and regulations.
 %
 As the truck driver came flying over the top of a steep hill, he spotted two
 figures in his path rolling around in the middle of the road.  The driver blew
-his horn and braked frantically, but the couple continued their lovemaking, 
+his horn and braked frantically, but the couple continued their lovemaking,
 oblivious to his warnings.  The truck finally slid to a halt barely three
 inches from the pair.  "Are you crazy?" the driver screamed at them.  "You
 could have been killed!"
@@ -4578,11 +4578,11 @@ popular, there were three people in a stagecoach one day:  a true red-
 blooded born and bred Texas gentleman, a tenderfoot city-slicker from
 back East, and a beautiful and well-endowed Texas lady.  The city-slicker
 kept eyeing the lady, and finally he leaned forward and said, "Lady, I'll
-give you $10 for a blow job."  
+give you $10 for a blow job."
 	The Texas gentleman looked appalled, pulled out his pistol, and
 killed the city-slicker on the spot.  The lady gasped and said, "Thank
 you, suh, for defendin' mah honor!"
-	Whereupon the Texan holstered his gun and said, "Your honor, hell!  
+	Whereupon the Texan holstered his gun and said, "Your honor, hell!
 No tenderfoot is gonna come 'round here raisin' the price of women in Texas!"
 %
 Balls Law:
@@ -4634,7 +4634,7 @@ beef stroganoff, n:
 "Before we get married," said the young woman to her fiancee, "I want to
 confess some affairs that I've had in the past."
 	"But you told me all about those a few weeks ago," her young man
-replied. 
+replied.
 	"Yes, darling," she explained, "but that was a few weeks ago."
 %
 Beifeld's Principle:
@@ -4662,7 +4662,7 @@ While Riley was away.
 %
 Benny Hill:	Would you like a peanut?
 Girl:		No, thank you, I don't want to be under obligation.
-Benny Hill:	You won't be under obligation for a peanut.  
+Benny Hill:	You won't be under obligation for a peanut.
 		It's not as if it were a chocolate bar or something.
 %
 Better a sister in a whorehouse than a brother on a Honda.
@@ -4692,9 +4692,9 @@ results.
 		-- The Joy of Sex
 		[Avoid armpit intercourse when razor stubble is present. Ed.]
 %
-Bill and Jim were walking home from work.  As they walked along, they 
-discussed their wives' spending habits.  "I don't understand how women 
-can spend so much money," Bill exclaimed.  "I mean, understand, she 
+Bill and Jim were walking home from work.  As they walked along, they
+discussed their wives' spending habits.  "I don't understand how women
+can spend so much money," Bill exclaimed.  "I mean, understand, she
 don't drink, and she's got her own pussy!"
 %
 Birth, copulation and death.
@@ -4776,10 +4776,10 @@ brunette bush, n:
 bug, n:
 	A son of a glitch.
 %
-Build a better mousetrap, the saying goes -- and with the brassiere, Yankee 
+Build a better mousetrap, the saying goes -- and with the brassiere, Yankee
 Ingenuity did exactly that.  But their true stroke of genius was the new bait.
-The old fashioned mousetrap was loaded with cheese; nobody cares much about 
-cheese, except mice.  But when American know-how reloaded the brassiere with 
+The old fashioned mousetrap was loaded with cheese; nobody cares much about
+cheese, except mice.  But when American know-how reloaded the brassiere with
 tits, every heterosexual male in the country was hopelessly trapped.
 		-- Alan Sherman, "The Rape of the A*P*E*"
 %
@@ -4805,9 +4805,9 @@ CAD:
 	that he's sterile until she's pregnant.
 %
 CALIFORNIA:
-	From Latin 'calor', meaning "heat" (as in English 'calorie' or
-	Spanish 'caliente'); and 'fornia', for "sexual intercourse" or
-	"fornication." Hence:  Tierra de California, "the land of hot sex."
+	From Latin "calor", meaning "heat" (as in English "calorie" or
+	Spanish "caliente"); and "fornia", for "sexual intercourse" or
+	"fornication".  Hence: Tierra de California, "the land of hot sex."
 		-- Ed Moran, Covina, California
 %
 Call for Ms. Lingus, Ms. Connie Lingus...
@@ -4944,7 +4944,7 @@ a Christian family, the feeling of guilt for Man's sins comes from God.
 In a Jewish family, it comes from your parents.
 %
 CHRISTMAS:
-	A day set apart by some as a time for turkey, presents, cranberry 
+	A day set apart by some as a time for turkey, presents, cranberry
 	salads, family get-togethers; for others, noted as having the best
 	response time of the entire year.
 %
@@ -5221,9 +5221,9 @@ Cox's philosophy:
 %
 coyote love, n:
 	Coyote love is a nebulous term.  Basically, what it involves is
-	the taking of a member of the preferred sex home from a singles 
+	the taking of a member of the preferred sex home from a singles
 	bar.  Then, when you wake up the next morning, they're sleeping
-	on your arm.  So, rather than wake them up as you escape, you 
+	on your arm.  So, rather than wake them up as you escape, you
 	chew off your arm at the shoulder.
 
 coyote ugly, adj:
@@ -5232,9 +5232,9 @@ coyote ugly, adj:
 %
 coyote love, n:
 	Coyote love is a nebulous term.  Basically, what it involves is
-	the taking of a member of the preferred sex home from a singles 
+	the taking of a member of the preferred sex home from a singles
 	bar.  Then, when you wake up the next morning, they're sleeping
-	on your arm.  So, rather than wake them up as you escape, you 
+	on your arm.  So, rather than wake them up as you escape, you
 	chew off your arm at the shoulder.
 
 coyote ugly, adj:
@@ -5368,7 +5368,7 @@ Dear Confused:
 Dear Ann Landers:
 	I have a problem.  I have two brothers; one works for the Illinois
 Bell Telephone Company, the other brother was just sentenced to death
-in the electric chair for murder.  My mother died from insanity when 
+in the electric chair for murder.  My mother died from insanity when
 I was three years old.  My two sisters are prostitutes and my father
 sells narcotics.
 	I recently met girl who was just released from a reformatory where
@@ -5453,7 +5453,7 @@ again.
 asking him what he was doing resulted in him beamingly telling her that he
 had found the answers to all of his questions!
 	"Mom", he said, "your driver's license says you're 34 years old, weigh
-125 pounds, and you and Daddy probably divorced 'cause you got an 'F' in sex!"
+125 pounds, and you and Daddy probably divorced 'cause you got an `F' in sex!"
 %
 Did you hear about the nearsighted fetishist who got off on the wrong foot?
 %
@@ -5602,7 +5602,7 @@ said as he stood on the gallows.  It seems the poor fellow was approached by a
 well-meaning if somewhat overzealous priest who, in horrific detail, described
 the unfading torments of Hades which awaited him if he did not repent of his
 misdeeds. The condemned man listened patiently to all that the priest had to
-say, and when he was done, grinned broadly and replied, 'Eat it raw, fuzz
+say, and when he was done, grinned broadly and replied, `Eat it raw, fuzz
 nuts.'"
 		-- "The Churchill Wit", National Lampoon
 %
@@ -5735,7 +5735,7 @@ Everyone has the right, without exception, to equal pay for equal work.
 Except for women.
 %
 Everyone in the office is welcome to join the group going to the Columbus
-Theater tonight.  Meet in the lobby at 8:30.  The films are "Blue Jennifer" 
+Theater tonight.  Meet in the lobby at 8:30.  The films are "Blue Jennifer"
 and "Hot Coed Cheerleaders".
 %
 Everyone *knows* cats are on a higher level of existence.  These silly humans
@@ -5747,7 +5747,7 @@ cats.
 	They don't have sexual hangups.  A cat gets horny, it does something
 about it.
 	They keep reasonable hours.  You *never* see a cat up before noon.
-	They know how to relax.  Ever heard of a cat with an ulcer?  
+	They know how to relax.  Ever heard of a cat with an ulcer?
 	What are the chances of a cat starting a nuclear war?  Pretty
 negligible.  It's not that they can't, they just know that there are much
 better things to do with ones time.  Like lie in the sun and sleep.  Or
@@ -5931,7 +5931,7 @@ For children, a woman.
 For pleasure, a boy.
 For sheer ecstasy, a melon.
 %
-For her first week's salary the gorgeous new secretary was given an 
+For her first week's salary the gorgeous new secretary was given an
 exquisite nightgown of imported lace.  The next week her salary was
 raised!
 %
@@ -5955,7 +5955,7 @@ For the sores on his prick he used Dial.
 That failed; he gave Lava a trial.
 	But the one remedy
 	For contagious V.D.
-Is the wonder drug sulfa-denial.		
+Is the wonder drug sulfa-denial.
 %
 "For the tenth time, dull Daphnis," said Chloe,
 "You have told me my bosom is snowy;
@@ -6226,8 +6226,8 @@ GAY:
 	One who'd rather swish than fight.
 %
 GEMINI (May 21 - June 20)
-	You are a quick and intelligent thinker.  People like you because 
-you are bisexual.  However, you are inclined to expect too much for too 
+	You are a quick and intelligent thinker.  People like you because
+you are bisexual.  However, you are inclined to expect too much for too
 little.  This means you are cheap.  Geminis are known for committing incest.
 %
 Gentlemen prefer blondes, but who says blondes prefer gentlemen?
@@ -6239,8 +6239,8 @@ George, after tying on a whopper the night before, woke up in the morning to
 find a pathetically unattractive woman sleeping blissfully beside him.  He
 leaped out of bed, dressed quickly, and furtively placed $100 on top of the
 bureau.  He then started to tiptoe out of the room.  But, as he passed the
-foot of the bed, he felt a tug at his trouser leg.  Glancing down, he saw 
-another female even homelier than the one he'd left in bed.  She gazed up 
+foot of the bed, he felt a tug at his trouser leg.  Glancing down, he saw
+another female even homelier than the one he'd left in bed.  She gazed up
 at him soulfully, and asked, "Nothing for the bridesmaid?"
 %
 George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but he
@@ -6251,9 +6251,9 @@ GEORGIA:
 	Where kinky sex means getting laid.
 %
 "Get a load of that chick!"	"Dude -- you gotta ask her out."
-"Weellll, I dunno..."		"Look.  The worst she can say, is 'No'!"
+"Weellll, I dunno..."		"Look.  The worst she can say, is `No'!"
 "Hey!  You're right!"		"I'm always right!"
-"The worst she can say... is 'No'!"
+"The worst she can say... is `No'!"
 
 "Idunnoifyou'vebeennoticingmebutI'vebeennoticingyouandIwaswonderingif
 you'd like to go out with me!"
@@ -6271,7 +6271,7 @@ Too bad wimp-itis has no cure.		I'm god's gift to the male race.
 I'm too hot, too hot for you.		I'm the queen of babes supreme,
 					But you'll only see me in you dreams.
 "Well?  What'd she say??"		I'm too hot, too hot for you.
-"Well, she didn't say no..."
+"Well, she didn't say `no'..."
  		-- Barry and the Bookbinders, "The Worst She Can Say is No"
 %
 GET OFF THE FUCKING SYSTEM THIS INSTANT, YOU ASSHOLE!!!!
@@ -6796,7 +6796,7 @@ pink damsels is not righteous, but he can have a lot more fun.
 %
 He who sneezes without a handkerchief takes matters into his own hands.
 %
-He who trains his tongue to quote the learned 
+He who trains his tongue to quote the learned
 sages, will be known far and wide as a smart ass.
 		-- Howard Kandel
 %
@@ -7195,7 +7195,7 @@ one morning when his housekeeper found him trapped in the recreation room under
 an enormous mound of rubberized implements, and the court had to issue a ruling
 stating that it didn't know what the hell pornography was except that it was
 illegal and everybody should stop badgering the court about it because the
-court was going to take a nap. 
+court was going to take a nap.
 		-- Dave Barry, "Pornography"
 %
 Here's a toast to Screwy Dick,
@@ -7701,7 +7701,7 @@ I want the same things all men do, Rice Krispies and some sucking.
 %
 I was 15 years old before I found out that "damn yankee" was two words.
 %
-I was a cock-teaser at Rooster Rama.  
+I was a cock-teaser at Rooster Rama.
 I used to enrage the bantams before the big bouts.
 		-- Firesign Theatre
 %
@@ -7751,7 +7751,7 @@ I wish that my room had a floor;
 I don't so much care for a door,
 	But this walking around
 	Without touching the ground
-Is getting to be quite a bore! 
+Is getting to be quite a bore!
 		-- Gelett Burgess
 %
 I wonder what my wife will want tonight;
@@ -8383,11 +8383,10 @@ day, the headlines read: Irish Ventriloquist Beaten to Death Behind Bar.
 It seems that John gets this phone call:
 	"Hello," he answers.  The voice on the other end of the line
 is hard and cold.
-	"This is Susan," he hears.  "We met at a party a few months
-ago.
+	"This is Susan," he hears.  "We met at a party a few months ago."
 	"Of course, Susan!", John replies.  "How are you?"
 	"Not very well.  Remember how after the party you took me home and
-we parked?  And you told me that I was a 'good sport'?  Well, I'm pregnant
+we parked?  And you told me that I was a `good sport'?  Well, I'm pregnant
 and I'm going to kill myself tonight."
 	John is silent for a few moments, collecting his thoughts.  "Well,"
 he finally replies, "you sure *are* a good sport."
@@ -8649,7 +8648,7 @@ I've got Hubert's pecker in my pocket.
 
 Don't see 'em this big out here, do they?
 		-- Lyndon B. Johnson, exposing himself to reporters in a
-		public toilet during a tour of the Far East
+		   public toilet during a tour of the Far East
 %
 Jack an Jill went up the hill.
 Jill went down,
@@ -8673,7 +8672,7 @@ Each had a buck and a quarter.
 Jill came down with two and a half --
 And you thought that they went for water.
 %
-Jack and Jill 
+Jack and Jill
 Went up the hill,
 Each had a buck and a quarter!
 Jill came down,
@@ -8725,7 +8724,7 @@ Jews always know two things: suffering and where to find great Chinese food.
 %
 Jimmy Carter, Ted Kennedy, Gary Hart, Joseph Biden and Michael Dukakis were
 on a cruise down the Potomac when the ship struck a rock and began to sink.
-	"Gentlemen," Carter said, "as good Christians, we should let the 
+	"Gentlemen," Carter said, "as good Christians, we should let the
 women and children aboard the lifeboats first."
 	"Fuck the women!" Kennedy shouted.
 	"Do we have time?" Hart asked.
@@ -8747,7 +8746,7 @@ Just go with the flow control, roll with the crunches, and, when you get
 a prompt, type like hell.
 %
 Just go with the flow control, roll with the
-crunches, and, when you get a prompt, type like hell. 
+crunches, and, when you get a prompt, type like hell.
 %
 Just once I would like to persuade the audience not to wear any article of
 blue denim.  If only they could see themselves in a pair of brown corduroys
@@ -9527,13 +9526,13 @@ to screw again as long as I live.
 %
 My sex life hasn't been so good; either fist or famine.
 %
-My travel agent's an Oxford chap 
+My travel agent's an Oxford chap
 Who rolls his eyes when he speaks.
-I asked him about the Isle of Man 
+I asked him about the Isle of Man
 For a journey of about six weeks.
-And this is what he said to me 
+And this is what he said to me
 As he looked me right in the eye,
-"For a far-out trip, try an ice cream dip 
+"For a far-out trip, try an ice cream dip
 Of Elephant Shit On Rye."
 
 A brand-new store just opened its door
@@ -9973,15 +9972,15 @@ Ona day Ima gonna to Detroit to a bigga hotel.  Ina morning I go down to
 eat breakfast.  I tella waitress I wanna two piss's toast.  She bringa me
 only one piss.  I tella her I wanna two piss ona my plate.  She says you
 better no piss on the plate, you sonna bitch.  I don't even know the lady
-and she call me sonna bitch.  Later I go out to eat at the bigga restaurant.  
-The waitress bring me a spoon and a knife but no fock.  I tell her I wanna 
-fock.  She tells me everone wanna fock.  I tell her "you no understand", I 
-wanna fock on the table.  She say you better not fock on the table, you 
-sonna bitch.  So I go back to my room ina hotel and there isa no shits ona 
+and she call me sonna bitch.  Later I go out to eat at the bigga restaurant.
+The waitress bring me a spoon and a knife but no fock.  I tell her I wanna
+fock.  She tells me everone wanna fock.  I tell her "you no understand", I
+wanna fock on the table.  She say you better not fock on the table, you
+sonna bitch.  So I go back to my room ina hotel and there isa no shits ona
 my bed.  I calla the manager and tella him I wanna shit.  He tella me to go
-to the toilet.  I say "you no understand", I wanna shit on the bed.  He say 
-you better no shit ona bed, you sonna bitch.  I go to check out and the man 
-at the desk say "peace to you".  I say piss on you too, you sonna bitch.  I 
+to the toilet.  I say "you no understand", I wanna shit on the bed.  He say
+you better no shit ona bed, you sonna bitch.  I go to check out and the man
+at the desk say "peace to you".  I say piss on you too, you sonna bitch.  I
 gonna back to Italy.
 %
 Once a woman has given you her heart you
@@ -10030,20 +10029,20 @@ know, the bull surprised the brown cow."
 Once upon a time there was a farmer who owned a large number of chickens and
 made money by selling chickens to a local distributing company.  The farmer
 wanted to increase his business, and so went to market to buy another rooster.
-"This rooster," assured the vendor, "is my best.  He's virile and energetic 
-and will take care of all your chickens!"  The farmer, delighted at this, 
-bought the rooster and returned to his farm.  He set the rooster loose among 
-his hen houses and, sure enough, the rooster enthusiastically went to work. 
-It wasn't too long, however, before the rooster finished off all the hens and 
-began on the few geese and ducks that were on the farm.  "If you keep up this 
-rate," warned the farmer, "you'll screw yourself to death!"  The rooster, 
-however, scoffed at the farmer and continued at an increased speed.  The next 
-morning, the farmer was doing his chores when he noticed several buzzards in 
-the sky circling over something.  He headed out behind the barn, and sure 
-enough there was the rooster, flat on his back, with eyes closed.  The farmer 
-shook his fist at the motionless body and cursed, shouting "I knew it!  I told 
-you so!  I knew you'd screw yourself to death!"  The rooster turned his head 
-toward the farmer, opened one eye, and winked.  "Shhh!" he said, pointing to 
+"This rooster," assured the vendor, "is my best.  He's virile and energetic
+and will take care of all your chickens!"  The farmer, delighted at this,
+bought the rooster and returned to his farm.  He set the rooster loose among
+his hen houses and, sure enough, the rooster enthusiastically went to work.
+It wasn't too long, however, before the rooster finished off all the hens and
+began on the few geese and ducks that were on the farm.  "If you keep up this
+rate," warned the farmer, "you'll screw yourself to death!"  The rooster,
+however, scoffed at the farmer and continued at an increased speed.  The next
+morning, the farmer was doing his chores when he noticed several buzzards in
+the sky circling over something.  He headed out behind the barn, and sure
+enough there was the rooster, flat on his back, with eyes closed.  The farmer
+shook his fist at the motionless body and cursed, shouting "I knew it!  I told
+you so!  I knew you'd screw yourself to death!"  The rooster turned his head
+toward the farmer, opened one eye, and winked.  "Shhh!" he said, pointing to
 the birds above.  "I think they're coming down."
 %
 Once upon a time there was a little girl named Little Red Riding Hood.  One
@@ -10086,7 +10085,7 @@ all his might.
 Once upon a time there were three coeds -- a big coed, a medium-sized coed,
 and a little, tiny coed.  One night they came home from a dance, and the big
 coed said, "Someone's been sleeping in my bed!"
-	The medium-sized coed looked in her room and said, "Someone's been 
+	The medium-sized coed looked in her room and said, "Someone's been
 sleeping in my bed!"
 	And the little, tiny coed said, "Well, nighty-night, girls!"
 %
@@ -10207,15 +10206,15 @@ inquired.
 	"Because he likes to fuck pigs."
 %
 "One day I got on the usual bus, and when I stepped in, I saw the most
-gorgeous blond Chinese girl... I sat beside her... I said 'Hi,' and she
-said 'Hi,' and then I said 'Nice day, isn't it,' and she said 'Yeah, I
-guess'... I said 'What do you mean "you guess"?'... she said 'I saw my
-analyst today and he says I have a problem.'... so I asked 'What's the
-problem?'... she replied 'I can't tell you, I don't even know you.'...
-I said 'Well sometimes it's good to tell your problems to a perfect
-stranger on a bus.'  So she said, 'Well, my analyst said I'm a nymphomaniac
+gorgeous blond Chinese girl... I sat beside her... I said `Hi,' and she
+said `Hi,' and then I said `Nice day, isn't it,' and she said `Yeah, I
+guess'... I said `What do you mean "you guess"?'... she said `I saw my
+analyst today and he says I have a problem.'... so I asked `What's the
+problem?'... she replied `I can't tell you, I don't even know you.'...
+I said `Well sometimes it's good to tell your problems to a perfect
+stranger on a bus.'  So she said, `Well, my analyst said I'm a nymphomaniac
 and I only like Jewish cowboys... by the way, my name is Diane.'  I said,
-'Hello, Diane, my name is Bucky Goldstein.'"
+`Hello, Diane, my name is Bucky Goldstein.'"
 		-- Stephen Wright
 %
 One day, in a bar, a young man walks in with a little dwarf about one foot
@@ -10259,7 +10258,7 @@ bit him on his penis.  Hearing George's howl of pain and fright, his friend
 Fred came running up and told him to lie still while he used the radio to
 call a doctor.
 	"There's only one way to save your friend's life," said the doctor
-gravely.  "If you cut a shallow 'X' over the bite and then suck as much of
+gravely.  "If you cut a shallow `X' over the bite and then suck as much of
 the poison out as you can, he'll probably be okay, but otherwise there's not
 much hope."
 	Hearing Fred's footsteps, George rose weakly up on one elbow and
@@ -10295,7 +10294,7 @@ to lay on guilt, involves the mother who gave her son two neckties on Chanuka.
 	"The boy hurried into his bedroom, ripped off the tie he was wearing,
 put on one of the ties his mother had brought him, and hurried back.  "Look,
 Mama! Isn't it gorgeous?"
-	"Mama asked, 'What's the matter?  You don't like the other one?'"
+	"Mama asked, `What's the matter?  You don't like the other one?'"
 		-- Leo Rosten, "Hooray For Yiddish"
 %
 One of the airlines recently introduced a special half-fare rate for wives
@@ -10545,9 +10544,9 @@ polish fly, n:
 %
 Politicians do it to everyone.
 %
-Pompoir:  The most sought-after feminine sexual response of all.  
+Pompoir:  The most sought-after feminine sexual response of all.
 
-'She must... close and constrict the Yoni until it holds the Lingam as with
+"She must... close and constrict the Yoni until it holds the Lingam as with
 a finger, opening and shutting at her pleasure, and finally acting as the
 hand of the Gopala-girl who milks the cow.  This can be learned only by long
 practice, and especially by throwing the will into the part affected, even
@@ -10558,8 +10557,8 @@ are abnormally developed.  In Abyssinia for instance, a woman can so exert
 them as to cause pain to a man, and when sitting on his thighs, she can
 induce orgasm without moving any other part of her person.  Such an artist
 is called by the Arabs Kabbazah, literally, a holder, and it's not surprising
-that slave dealers pay large sums for her'  Thus Richard Burton.  It has
-nothing to do with 'race' but a lot to do with practice.  See exercises.
+that slave dealers pay large sums for her."  Thus Richard Burton.  It has
+nothing to do with "race" but a lot to do with practice.  See exercises.
 		-- The Joy of Sex
 %
 Poor Alice who lived in Corvallis
@@ -10623,8 +10622,8 @@ Printers do it without wrinkling the sheets.
 %
 Prior to this year's Rock & Roll Hall of Fame ceremony, [Cash] went to
 the bathroom.  "I was standing at the urinal, and Keith Richards walked
-in...  He said, 'Look at this, I'm pissing with Johnny Cash. We need a
-picture of this.'  I said, 'No, Keith, we *don't* need a picture of this.'"
+in...  He said, `Look at this, I'm pissing with Johnny Cash. We need a
+picture of this.'  I said, `No, Keith, we *don't* need a picture of this.'"
 		-- Rolling Stone interview with Johnny Cash.
 %
 Procrastinators do it tomorrow.
@@ -10658,7 +10657,7 @@ out the door.
 pubic hair, n:
 	Organic dental floss.
 %
-Puff the Jewish dragon lived in Palestine, 
+Puff the Jewish dragon lived in Palestine,
 And frollicked in the Autumn mist,
 And drank Manishiewitz wine.
 Little Rabbi Jacob loved that rascal Puff,
@@ -11737,7 +11736,7 @@ Self-abuse is the most certain road to the grave.
 		-- Dr. George M. Calhoun, 1855
 %
 SEMINARS:
-	From 'semi' and 'arse', hence, any half-assed discussion.
+	From "semi" and "arse", hence, any half-assed discussion.
 %
 Sen. Danforth:  "There is nothing on the face of the album which would
 		notify you if the record has pornographics material or
@@ -12208,7 +12207,7 @@ successful cunnilingus:
 SUGAR DADDY:
 	A man who can afford to raise cain.
 %
-Sure, and of course I would vote for a woman for president!  
+Sure, and of course I would vote for a woman for president!
 Quite naturally, we wouldn't have to pay her so much.
 %
 Sure banking is Biblical!
@@ -12425,12 +12424,12 @@ and stayed quite a while, and when they came out we all went to the dinner
 table.  Remember all that, Ed?"
 	"Yeh."
 	"Now," Hud continued, "you recall that I was just getting to pass
-the gravy when Mother said, 'Bishop, does your prick still throb?'  The gravy
+the gravy when Mother said, `Bishop, does your prick still throb?'  The gravy
 bowl flew out of my hands and hit the table, and the gravy splattered all
 over everyone.  And just at that point you, Brother Edward, you hollered,
 'Sheee-itt!'  You remember that?"
 	"Yeh."
-	"Well, when you hollered 'Sheee-itt!' that was a _faux_pas_."
+	"Well, when you hollered `Sheee-itt!' that was a _faux_pas_."
 %
 The bustard's a remarkable fowl
 With surely no reason to growl
@@ -12672,9 +12671,9 @@ two great kingdoms.  Yet, because the young couple seemed so formal to each
 other, he posted a spy outside the royal wedding chamber and demanded a full
 account of the wedding night's progress.
 	"It's hard to tell," said the spy the next morning. "When the prince
-entered the chamber, I heard the princess say, quite formally, 'I offer you my
-honor.'  Then the prince said, with equal courtliness, 'I honor your offer.'
-And that's the way it went all night long -- honor, offer, honor, offer.
+entered the chamber, I heard the princess say, quite formally, `I offer you my
+honor.'  Then the prince said, with equal courtliness, `I honor your offer.'
+And that's the way it went all night long -- honor, offer, honor, offer."
 %
 The King named Oedipus Rex
 Who started this fuss about sex
@@ -12869,19 +12868,19 @@ took the young champion behind the barn.  "Kid," he said, "the hens are after
 me for giving up my position so readily.  So why don't we have a race, say,
 ten laps around the farmhouse?  The winner becomes undisputed keeper of the
 henhouse and the hens will stop nagging me.
-	The young rooster, with only contempt for his elder, agreed.  
-Surprisingly, the older one jumped off to an early lead.  His counterpart, 
+	The young rooster, with only contempt for his elder, agreed.
+Surprisingly, the older one jumped off to an early lead.  His counterpart,
 weakened by the activities of the previous week, was never quite able to
-overtake him.  As they rounded the barn for the fourth time, the elder rooster 
+overtake him.  As they rounded the barn for the fourth time, the elder rooster
 maintained a formidable lead.
-	Suddenly, a shotgun blast rang out.  The young rooster fell in the 
+	Suddenly, a shotgun blast rang out.  The young rooster fell in the
 dust, his plumage riddled with buckshot.
 	"Dammit, Emmy," said the farmer.  "That's the last rooster we buy
 from Ferguson.  Four of 'em this month, and every one's been queer."
 %
 The nipples of Sarah Sarong
 When excited are twelve inches long
-	This embarrassed her lover 
+	This embarrassed her lover
 	Who was pained to discover
 She expected no less of his dong
 %
@@ -12991,7 +12990,7 @@ been acting peculiarly ever since she started working for him a month ago.
 	"After my very first week on the job," she said, "I received a
 twenty-dollar raise.  At the end of the second week he called me into his
 private office, gave me a lovely black nightie, five pairs of nylon stockings
-and said, 'These are for a beautiful, efficient secretary.'  At the end of the
+and said, `These are for a beautiful, efficient secretary.'  At the end of the
 third week he gave me a gorgeous mink stole.  Then, this afternoon, he called me
 into his private office again, presented me with this fabulous diamond bracelet
 and asked me if I would consider making love to him and what it would cost.
@@ -13134,7 +13133,7 @@ inquired.
 	The young man grinned.  "Perfectly.  The other night, we were having
 supper, and as I reached for the salt -- so did she!  Our hands touched... It
 was as if an electric current ran through us.  I leaped to my feet, swept the
-dishes from the table and then and there consummated our marriage!  There's 
+dishes from the table and then and there consummated our marriage!  There's
 just one problem, however.  We can't go back to The Four Seasons again..."
 %
 The sight of his guests filled Lord Cray
@@ -13279,7 +13278,7 @@ youth pointed to another, somewhat larger boy smirking in the corner.
 "That's him, sir, the one who forced me to do all those crimes against
 nature.  The bully!"
 	"Now tell me, son, as closely as you can, when this happened."
-	"Sir, two weeks ago on Wednesday at 4:00, then at 7:00 that same 
+	"Sir, two weeks ago on Wednesday at 4:00, then at 7:00 that same
 evening, on Friday, twice on Saturday, two times on Monday, once on
 Wednesday, and then he met that bitch Roy and he hasn't touched me since."
 %
@@ -13359,7 +13358,7 @@ stand.  A screaming woman and the smell of burning rubber."
 Then there was the girl who was engaged
 to a gymnast -- 'til he broke it off.
 %
-Then there was the girl whose boyfriend didn't smoke, drink or 
+Then there was the girl whose boyfriend didn't smoke, drink or
 swear, and never, ever made a pass at her.  He also made his own dresses.
 %
 Then there was the guy that got badly messed up fighting
@@ -13448,7 +13447,7 @@ beech or a son of a birch?" asks the beech.
 	"You're both wrong!" says the bird.  "That's the best piece of ash
 I've had my pecker in for a long time!"
 %
-There is a definite parallel between shots of tequila and a  
+There is a definite parallel between shots of tequila and a
 woman's breasts.  One is not enough and three are too many.
 %
 There is a new model of car being sold in San Francisco --
@@ -13529,18 +13528,18 @@ Got his testicles caught in a wringer.
 There was once a newly-married couple.  Now these two lovers were, well,
 rather uptight about using expressions such as "having sex", "getting it on",
 or "boffing the brains out".  So, they decided to use the euphemism, "doing
-the laundry" whenever the topic of sex came up. 
-	One evening, hubby said, "Well, honey, feel like doing some laundry 
-tonite?", and she consented.  The next evening, hubby again asked, "Sweetie, 
-feel like doing some laundry tonite?"  Well, wifey wasn't really in the mood, 
-but complied.  On the third night, when hubby approached her, asking her to 
-participate in doing still MORE laundry, she replied, "Oh, Hon, I'm really not 
+the laundry" whenever the topic of sex came up.
+	One evening, hubby said, "Well, honey, feel like doing some laundry
+tonite?", and she consented.  The next evening, hubby again asked, "Sweetie,
+feel like doing some laundry tonite?"  Well, wifey wasn't really in the mood,
+but complied.  On the third night, when hubby approached her, asking her to
+participate in doing still MORE laundry, she replied, "Oh, Hon, I'm really not
 in the mood for doing any laundry tonite."
-	Well, hubby, being a bit disappointed, locked himself in the bathroom 
+	Well, hubby, being a bit disappointed, locked himself in the bathroom
 and engaged in a spot of self-abuse instead.  Upon returning to the living
 room, wifey said, "Well, Poopsie, I've changed my mind -- how about doing
 some laundry?"  To which he replied, "Oh, no, that's okay, I just did a small
-load!" 
+load!"
 %
 There was once a salesman who had an outstanding record for selling tooth-
 brushes.  His boss, wondering at his unlikely success, sent a man out to
@@ -13650,13 +13649,13 @@ DS:	You're confused.   Why would there be a Swiss soldier here?  And who
 Czech:	Well, maybe, but you said it, not me.
 %
 This fellow rushed into a crowded tavern on Saturday night.  Men and women
-stood three-deep at the bar.  Our man, who felt nature calling strongly, 
-looked about him but couldn't see anything that resembled a john.  He saw a 
-stairway and bounded up the steps to the second floor in his increasingly 
-desperate search.  Just as his bowels threatened to erupt, he spotted a 
-one-foot by one-foot hole in the floor.  Now, at the end of his control, he 
-decided to take advantage of the hole.  He dropped his pants, hunched over it, 
-and did his thing.  Thoroughly relieved and relaxed, he sauntered down the 
+stood three-deep at the bar.  Our man, who felt nature calling strongly,
+looked about him but couldn't see anything that resembled a john.  He saw a
+stairway and bounded up the steps to the second floor in his increasingly
+desperate search.  Just as his bowels threatened to erupt, he spotted a
+one-foot by one-foot hole in the floor.  Now, at the end of his control, he
+decided to take advantage of the hole.  He dropped his pants, hunched over it,
+and did his thing.  Thoroughly relieved and relaxed, he sauntered down the
 steps to find, to his surprise, that the crowded bar was now empty.
 	"Hey!" he yelled to the seemingly empty room, "Where is everyone?"
 	From behind the bar a voice responded, "Hey!  Where were you when
@@ -13763,8 +13762,8 @@ to bed reassured, only to be awakened in the night by his sister calling with
 the news that their mother had died suddenly in the night.  The father had a
 series of psychological tests done; nothing unusual was uncovered.  About a
 month later, the boy ended his prayers with, "God specially bless Daddy, who
-won't be with us much longer."  The man was panic-stricken, certain that he was 
-going to die during the night.  He resolved to stay awake all night; if awake 
+won't be with us much longer."  The man was panic-stricken, certain that he was
+going to die during the night.  He resolved to stay awake all night; if awake
 and alert he should be able to prevent any tragedy.  Morning came.  Breathing
 a huge sigh of relief, he went to get the paper off the porch.  There, lying
 dead on the doorstep, was the milkman.
@@ -13824,8 +13823,8 @@ it might rain.  I don't know why it works, but he's never been wrong!"
 	"Laurie, what if he has an erection?" asks the other woman.
 	"Honey, on a day like *that*, you don't do the *laundry."
 %
-Three young women were attending the same logic class given at one of the 
-better universities.  During a lecture the professor stated that he was 
+Three young women were attending the same logic class given at one of the
+better universities.  During a lecture the professor stated that he was
 going to test their ability at situation reasoning.
 	"Let us assume," said the prof, "that you are aboard a small craft
 alone in the Pacific, and you spot a vessel approaching you with several
@@ -14062,11 +14061,11 @@ will get hard?"
 Two Peace Corp. doctors who had just returned to a stateside hospital
 were in front of the main desk in the midst of a heated argument that
 went along these lines:
-	(1st doctor)	"No, no, no! It's 'waaaahmmmb'"
-	(2nd doctor)	"No you're wrong! It's 'woooooommmb'"
+	(1st doctor)	"No, no, no! It's `waaaahmmmb'"
+	(2nd doctor)	"No you're wrong! It's `woooooommmb'"
 and this continued for quite sometime.
 	Finally a nurse stepped in and said: "The correct pronunciation is
-'womb'" and trotted off.
+`womb'" and trotted off.
 	(1st doctor)	"That shows you what she knows."
 	(2nd doctor)	"Yeah.  I bet she's never even SEEN a hippopotamus,
 let alone heard one fart underwater."
@@ -14144,7 +14143,7 @@ had a couple himself that night, and was feeling rather sorry for his fellow
 man, he asked the inebriated one what the trouble was.
 	"I did a terrible thing tonight," sniffled the drunk.  "I sold my
 wife to a guy for a bottle of Scotch."
-	"That is terrible," said the man, too much under the weather to 
+	"That is terrible," said the man, too much under the weather to
 muster any real indignation.  "And now that she's gone, you wish you had her
 back."
 	"Thas right," said the drunk, still sniffling.
@@ -14207,7 +14206,7 @@ TIKEH NUNEH BA OB KHRELEH BEZORG VA KHRUBE BOYAST INO BEGERAM.
 
 ETEHFOR'AN, DEHRATEE, OTAGEH SHOMA MIKRASTAM KHE
 DO HAFTAEH BA BODANEH SHEEREEL TEEGZ.
-	Truly, I would rather be a hostage to your greatly esteemed 
+	Truly, I would rather be a hostage to your greatly esteemed
 	self than spend a fortnight upon the person of Cheryl Tiegs.
 %
 USENET is like a herd of performing elephants with diarrhea --
@@ -14587,7 +14586,7 @@ Is playing tonsil hockey.
 Well, I'd left home just a week before,
 And I'd never ever kissed a woman before,
 But Lola smiled and took me by the hand,
-And said 'Little boy, gonna make you a man!'
+And said "Little boy, gonna make you a man!"
 Well, I'm not the world's most masculine man,
 But I know what I am and I'm glad I'm a man and so's Lola.
 La, la, la, la-Lola... la, la, la, la-Lola...  Lola.
@@ -14812,7 +14811,7 @@ the boss caught up with her.  "I've got some bad news for you, Liz," he said.
 "I've got to lay you or Jack off."
 	"Jack off," she snapped.  "I have a headache."
 %
-When I need something 
+When I need something
 To help me unwind
 I find a six-foot baby		What kind of guy
 With a one-track mind		Does a lot for me
@@ -14952,7 +14951,7 @@ will happen, the executive sadly found himself unable to perform.
 into the bedroom to find his wife swathed in a rumpled bathrobe, her hair
 curled, her face creamed, munching candy loudly as she pored through a movie
 magazine.  And then, without warning, he felt the onset of a magnificent
-erection. 
+erection.
 	Looking down at his throbbing member, he snarled, "Why you ungrateful,
 mixed-up, son-of-a-bitch!  Now I know why they call you a prick!"
 %
diff --git a/games/fortune/datfiles/limerick b/games/fortune/datfiles/limerick
index 2bd59e0ba75..6b68000c9bf 100644
--- a/games/fortune/datfiles/limerick
+++ b/games/fortune/datfiles/limerick
@@ -393,7 +393,7 @@ She could sense Fifth Column activity.
 %
 A graduate student named Zac
 Was said to be great in the sack.
-	An inch of his boner 
+	An inch of his boner
 	Put girls in a coma
 And two gave them epileptic attacks.
 %
@@ -1167,7 +1167,7 @@ She used it for many a bunt.
 	But the unlucky wench
 	Got it caught in her trench ---
 It took twenty-two men and a big Stillson wrench,
-To get the thing out of her cunt. 
+To get the thing out of her cunt.
 %
 A weary old lecher named Blott
 Took a luscious young blond to his yacht.
@@ -2414,7 +2414,7 @@ There was a gay countess of Bray,
 And you may think it odd when I say,
 	That in spite of high station,
 	Rank and education,
-She always spelled cunt with a 'k'.		
+She always spelled cunt with a "k".
 %
 There was a gay dog from Ontario
 Who fancied himself a Lothario.
@@ -2737,7 +2737,7 @@ There was a young fellow named Paul
 Who confessed, "I have only one ball.
 	But the size of my prick
 	Is God's dirtiest trick,
-For my girls always ask, 'Is that all?'"
+For my girls always ask, `Is that all?'"
 %
 There was a young fellow named Pell
 Who didn't like cunt very well.
@@ -3199,7 +3199,7 @@ Who filled her vagina with glue.
 	"If they pay to get in,
 They'll pay to get out of it too."
 %
-There was a young harlot named Schwartz	
+There was a young harlot named Schwartz
 Whose cock-pit was studded with warts,
 	And they tickled so nice
 	She drew a high price
@@ -4761,7 +4761,7 @@ There was an old man with a beard
 Who said, "It is just what I feared!
 	Two owls and a hen,
 	Four larks and a wren
-Have all built their nests in my beard!" 
+Have all built their nests in my beard!"
 %
 There was an old person of Ware
 Who had an affair with a bear.
@@ -4919,7 +4919,7 @@ They had come in the fugue to the stretto
 When a dark, bearded man from a ghetto
 	Slipped forward and grabbed
 	Her tresses and stabbed
-Her to death with a rusty stiletto. 
+Her to death with a rusty stiletto.
 		-- Edward Gorey
 %
 Though his plan, when he gave her a buzz,
@@ -4955,7 +4955,7 @@ I think they have rotted the drums."
 %
 To bear offspring, Noah's snakes were unable.
 Their fertility was somewhat unstable.
-	He constructed a bed 
+	He constructed a bed
 	Out of tree trunks and said,
 "Even adders can multiply on a log table."
 %
@@ -4971,7 +4971,7 @@ To his bride said a numskull named Clarence :
 	I picked up from rabbits,
 And occasionally watching my parents."
 %
-To his bride said economist Fife :
+To his bride said economist Fife:
 "The semen you'll launch as my wife,
 	We will salvage and freeze
 	To resemble goat's cheese,
diff --git a/games/fortune/datfiles/recipes b/games/fortune/datfiles/recipes
index f227eeed86d..8e25f29b2da 100644
--- a/games/fortune/datfiles/recipes
+++ b/games/fortune/datfiles/recipes
@@ -31,7 +31,7 @@ Butter
 2.5 cups raisins
 2.5 tsp oregano
 22 cups water
-40 chicken bouillon cubes (or equivalent - you want to make double 
+40 chicken bouillon cubes (or equivalent - you want to make double
 			  strength chicken stock - chicken-in-a-mug
 			  works well made double strength).
 
diff --git a/games/fortune/datfiles/startrek b/games/fortune/datfiles/startrek
index be0f63d390f..d6ff02aaa6d 100644
--- a/games/fortune/datfiles/startrek
+++ b/games/fortune/datfiles/startrek
@@ -444,7 +444,7 @@ Superior ability breeds superior ambition.
 		-- Spock and Nomad, "The Changeling", stardate 3541.9
 %
 "The combination of a number of things to make existence worthwhile."
-"Yes, the philosophy of 'none,' meaning 'all.'"
+"Yes, the philosophy of `none', meaning `all'."
 		-- Spock and Lincoln, "The Savage Curtain", stardate 5906.4
 %
 The face of war has never changed.  Surely it is more logical to heal