Spelling and punctuation corrected. Duplicates removed, including those

present in fortunes2 that are already in fortunes.  Some attributions added/
corrected.  The warning in src/games/Notes still applies fully.  No fortunes
were lost in this process.

1 files changed, 5 insertions, 243 deletions

diff --git a/games/fortune/datfiles/limerick b/games/fortune/datfiles/limerick
index f7521b03ef6..0e8d1b7e1eb 100644
--- a/games/fortune/datfiles/limerick
+++ b/games/fortune/datfiles/limerick
@@ -19,12 +19,6 @@ You expected this line to be lewd.
 A beat schizophrenic said, "Me?
 I am not I, I'm a tree."
 	But another, more sane,
-	Shouted, "I'm a great dane "
-And covered his pants leg with pee.
-%
-A beat schizophrenic said, "Me?
-I am not I, I'm a tree."
-	But another, more sane,
 	Shouted, "I'm a Great Dane!"
 And covered his pants leg with pee.
 %
@@ -62,12 +56,6 @@ With the aid of his constable's truncheon.
 A broken-down harlot named Tupps
 Was heard to confess in her cups:
 	"The height of my folly
-	Was diddling a collie-
-But I got a nice price for the pups."
-%
-A broken-down harlot named Tupps
-Was heard to confess in her cups:
-	"The height of my folly
 	Was fucking a collie --
 But I got a nice price for the pups."
 %
@@ -159,12 +147,6 @@ Invented a jack-off machine.
 	The fuckin' thing broke
 And beat both his balls to a creame.
 %
-A clever young man named Eugene
-Invented a jack-off machine.
-	On the twenty-third stroke
-	The goddam thing broke
-And beat both his balls to a creame.
-%
 A cocksucking steno named Beeman
 Remarked as she swallowed my semen :
 	"On my minuscule salary
@@ -274,12 +256,6 @@ Wrote his thesis on cunts and on fucking'em.
 	Taught him Gamahuchee
 - so he added a footnote on sucking 'em.
 %
-A doctoral student from Buckingham
-Wrote his thesis on cunts and on fucking'em.
-	But a dropout from paree
-	Taught him Gamahuchee
-So he added a footnote on sucking 'em.
-%
 A do-it-yourselfer named Alice,
 Used a dynamite stick for a phallus.
 	She blew her vagina
@@ -299,13 +275,6 @@ Whose overworked sex is all callous,
 Through exuberance, tightness, and malice.
 %
 A dreary young bank clerk named Fennis
-Wished to foster an aura of menace;
-	To make people afraid
-	He wore gloves of grey suede
-And white footgear intended for tennis.
-		-- Edward Gorey
-%
-A dreary young bank clerk named Fennis
 Wished to foster an aura of menace.
 	To make people afraid
 	He wore gloves of grey suede
@@ -378,18 +347,6 @@ Scientifically played with himself,
 	He labled it: son,
 And filed him away on a shelf.
 %
-A geneticist living in Delft
-Scientifically played with himself,
-	And when he was done
-	He labled it: son,
-And filed him away on a shelf.
-A gentleman, otherwise meek,
-Detested with passion the leek;
-	When offered one out
-	He dealt such a clout
-To the maid, she was down for a week.
-		-- Edward Gorey
-%
 A gentleman, otherwise meek,
 Detested with passion the leek;
 	When offered one out
@@ -436,12 +393,6 @@ She could sense Fifth Column activity.
 %
 A graduate student named Zac
 Was said to be great in the sack.
-	An inch of his boner
-	Put girls in a coma
-And two gave them epileptic attacks.
-%
-A graduate student named Zac
-Was said to be great in the sack.
 	An inch of his boner 
 	Put girls in a coma
 And two gave them epileptic attacks.
@@ -530,12 +481,6 @@ A hearty young fellow named Yost
 Once had an affair with a ghost.
 	At the height of the spasm
 	The poor ectoplasm
-Cried, "Goodie, I feel it ... almost."
-%
-A hearty young fellow named Yost
-Once had an affair with a ghost.
-	At the height of the spasm
-	The poor ectoplasm
 Cried, "Goodie, I feel it... almost."
 %
 A hidebound young virgin named Carrie
@@ -649,12 +594,6 @@ Found an elephant's whang in her stew.
 	And don't wave it about,
 Or the others will all want one too."
 %
-A lady, while dining in Crewe,
-Found an elephant's whang in her stew.
-	Said the waiter, "Don't shout
-	Or wave it about
-Or the others will ask for one, too."
-%
 A lady who signs herself "Vexed"
 Writes to say she believes she's been hexed:
 	"I don't mind my shins
@@ -716,12 +655,6 @@ Once rode through the streets in the nude.
 	Agnificent bottom"
 And slapped it as hard as they could.
 %
-A lovely young maid from St. Jude
-Once rode through the streets in the nude.
-	The police cried, "Whatam--
-	Agnificent bottom"
-And slapped it as hard as they cude.
-%
 A lusty young maid from Seattle
 Got pleasure by sleeping with cattle;
 	Till she found a bull
@@ -949,24 +882,6 @@ A pretty young lady named Vogel
 Once sat herself down on a molehill.
 	A curious mole
 	Nosed into her hole --
-Ms. Vogel's ok, but the mole's ill.
-%
-A pretty young lady named Vogel
-Once sat herself down on a molehill.
-	A curious mole
-	Nosed into her hole --
-Ms. Vogel's okay, but the mole's ill.
-%
-A pretty young lady named Vogel
-Once sat herself down on a molehill.
-	A curious mole
-	Nosed into her hole-
-Ms. Vogel's ok, but the mole's ill.
-%
-A pretty young lady named Vogel
-Once sat herself down on a molehill.
-     A curious mole
-     Nosed into her hole --
 Ms. Vogel's okay, but the mole's ill.
 %
 A pretty young maiden from France
@@ -1024,7 +939,7 @@ They have such peculiar diversions.
 	In the usual way
 And save up the nights for perversions.
 %
-A remarkable race are the Persians,
+A remarkable race are the Persians;
 They have such peculiar diversions.
 	They screw the whole day
 	In the regular way,
@@ -1153,12 +1068,6 @@ Beseeching poor Nestor to rest her.
 A sweetheart named Teresa Arden
 Went down on her beau in the garden.
 	He said, "Good lord, Tess,
-	Don't swallow that mess "
-And she replied, "Ulp, beg your pardon?"
-%
-A sweetheart named Teresa Arden
-Went down on her beau in the garden.
-	He said, "Good lord, Tess,
 	Don't swallow that mess!"
 And she replied, "Ulp, beg your pardon?"
 %
@@ -1181,12 +1090,6 @@ Could fuck you in ways quite adroit.
 Or open it out like a quoit.
 %
 A team playing baseball in Dallas
-Called te umpire blind out of malice.
-	While this worthy had fits
-	The team made eight hits
-And a girl in the bleachers named Alice.
-%
-A team playing baseball in Dallas
 Called the umpire blind out of malice.
 	While this worthy had fits
 	The team made eight hits
@@ -1259,14 +1162,7 @@ Reproached for not acting quite primly
 	I know sex isn't love,
 But it's such an entrancing facsimile."
 %
-A water pipe suited miss Hunt;
-She used it for many a bunt.
-	But the unlucky wench
-	Got it caught in her trench ---
-It took twenty-two men and a big Stillson wrench,
-To get the thing out of her cunt.
-%
-A water pipe suited miss Hunt;
+A water pipe suited Miss Hunt;
 She used it for many a bunt.
 	But the unlucky wench
 	Got it caught in her trench ---
@@ -1309,12 +1205,6 @@ His mouth can hold more than his belican.
 	Enough food for a week.
 And I'm darned if I know how the helican.
 %
-A wonderful bird is the pelican.
-His mouth can hold more than his belican.
-	He can take in his beak
-	Enough food for a week.
-I'm darned if I know how the helican.
-%
 A wonderful tribe are the Sweenies,
 Renowned for the length of their peenies.
 	The hair on their balls
@@ -1528,12 +1418,6 @@ Could, when feeling euphoric,
 	Three kinds of erection-
 Corinthian, ionic, and doric.
 %
-An architect fellow named Yoric
-Could, when feeling euphoric,
-	Display for selection
-	Three kinds of erection-
-Corinthian,ionic,and doric.
-%
 An ardent young man named Magruder
 Once wooed a girl nude in Bermuda.
 	She thought it quite lewd
@@ -1561,12 +1445,6 @@ And all she recalls is the ache.
 An artist who lived in Australia
 Once painted his ass like a Dahlia.
 	The drawing was fine,
-	The colour - devine,
-The scent - ah, that was a failia.
-%
-An artist who lived in Australia
-Once painted his ass like a Dahlia.
-	The drawing was fine,
 	The colour - divine,
 The scent - ah, that was a failia.
 %
@@ -1795,13 +1673,6 @@ Fan would giggle and show off her knees;
 And weep from a sense of unease.
 		-- Edward Gorey
 %
-Augustus, for slpashing his soup,
-Was put for the night on the stoop;
-	In the morning he'd not
-	Repented a jot,
-And next day he was dead of the croup.
-		-- Edward Gorey
-%
 Augustus, for splashing his soup,
 Was put for the night on the stoop;
 	In the morning he'd not
@@ -1828,13 +1699,6 @@ When he sits on the foot of my bed;
 But for the seventeen years he's been dead.
 		-- Edward Gorey
 %
-Each night Father fills me with dread
-When he sits on the foot ofmy bed;
-	I'd not mind that he speaks
-	In gibbers and squeaks,
-But for the seventeen years he's been dead.
-		-- Edward Gorey
-%
 From deep in the crypt at St. Giles
 Came a bellow that echoed for miles.
 	Said the rector, "My gracious,
@@ -1873,12 +1737,6 @@ Complacently stroking his madam,
 	For on all of the earth
 There were only two balls -- and he had 'em.
 %
-In the garden of Eden lay Adam,
-Complacently stroking his madam
-	And loud was his mirth
-	For on all of the earth
-There were only two balls and he had'em.
-%
 In the little French town of Le'Beau,
 Lived a maiden exceedingly droll.
 	At a masquerade ball,
@@ -1922,13 +1780,6 @@ You must keep her in close quarantine,
 Disorderly, drunk, and obscene.
 		-- Morris Bishop
 %
-The limerick is furtive and mean;
-You must keep her in close quarantine,
-	Or she sneaks to the slums
-	And promptly becomes
-Disorderly, drunk, and obscene.           
-		-- Morris Bishop
-%
 The old archeologist, Throstle,
 Discovered a marvelous fossil.
 	He knew from its bend
@@ -2106,12 +1957,6 @@ Who got laid by a big alligator.
 There once was a girl from Madras
 Who had such a beautiful ass -
 	It was not round and pink
-	( as you bastards think )
-But had two ears, a tail, and ate grass.
-%
-There once was a girl from Madras
-Who had such a beautiful ass -
-	It was not round and pink
 	(As you bastards think)
 But had two ears, a tail, and ate grass.
 %
@@ -2315,17 +2160,11 @@ Pa followed the pair to Pawtucket,
 	"You're welcome to Nan."
 But as for the bucket, Pawtucket.
 %
-There once was a man from Nantucket,
-Whose cock was so long he could suck it.
-	He said with a grin,
-	As he wiped off his chin,
-If my ear were a cunt I could fuck it!
-%
 There once was a man from Nantucket
 Whose dick was so long he could suck it.
 	He said with a grin
 	As he wiped off his chin,
-"If my ear was a cunt, I could fuck it."
+"If my ear was a cunt, I could fuck it!"
 %
 There once was a man from Racine,
 Who invented a screwing machine.
@@ -2358,12 +2197,6 @@ Who canoed with a girl in Bermuder.
 So McGru took an oar and subduder.
 %
 There once was a man named McSweeny
-Who spilled lots of gin on his weeney
-	So just to be couth
-	He added vermouth
-And slipped his best girl a martini.
-%
-There once was a man named McSweeny
 Who spilled some raw gin on his weeny.
 	Just to be couth,
 	He added vermouth,
@@ -2593,12 +2426,6 @@ There was a gay countess of Bray,
 And you may think it odd when I say,
 	That in spite of high station,
 	Rank and education,
-She always spelled cunt with a 'k'.
-%
-There was a gay countess of Bray,
-And you may think it odd when I say,
-	That in spite of high station,
-	Rank and education,
 She always spelled cunt with a 'k'.		
 %
 There was a gay dog from Ontario
@@ -3208,12 +3035,6 @@ Who wanted to dance in the ballet.
 	When she kicked off her drawers,
 But her hair and her bush didn't tally.
 %
-There was a young girl named Saphire
-Who succumbed to her lovers desire.
-	She said, "It's a sin,
-	But now that it's in,
-Could you shove it a few inches higher?"
-%
 There was a young girl named Sapphire
 Who succumbed to her lover's desire.
 	She said, "It's a sin,
@@ -3530,11 +3351,6 @@ There was a young lady from Munich
 Who had an affair with a eunuch.
 	At the height of their passion
 	He dealt her a ration
-%
-There was a young lady from Munich
-Who had an affair with a eunuch.
-	At the height of their passion
-	He dealt her a ration
 From a squirt gun concealed in his tunic.
 %
 There was a young lady from Norway
@@ -3920,18 +3736,6 @@ She excelled at (so everyone says).
 There was a young lady of Gaza
 Who shaved her cunt bare with a razor.
 	The crabs, in a lump,
-	Made tracks to her rump -
-This passing parade did amaze her.
-%
-There was a young lady of Gaza
-Who shaved her cunt bare with a razor.
-	The crabs, in a lump,
-	Made tracks to her rump -
-This passing parade did amaze her.		
-%
-There was a young lady of Gaza
-Who shaved her cunt bare with a razor.
-	The crabs, in a lump,
 	Made tracks to her rump--
 This passing parade did amaze her.
 %
@@ -4049,12 +3853,6 @@ The cheeks of her ass were so fat
 	Whenever she farted,
 And also whenever she shat.
 %
-There was a young lass from Surat.
-The cheeks of her ass were so fat
-	That they had to be parted
-	Whenever she farted,
-And also whenever she shat.			
-%
 There was a young laundress named Wrangle
 Whose tits tilted up at an angle.
 	"They may tickle my chin,"
@@ -4175,12 +3973,6 @@ Whose cock was so long he could suck it.
 	And saw his own ass,
 And broke his neck trying to fuck it.
 %
-There was a young man from Nantucket
-Whose cock was so long he could suck it.
-	He said with a grin,
-	While wiping his chin,
-"If my ear was a cunt, I could fuck it."
-%
 There was a young man from New Haven
 Who had an affair with a raven.
 	He said with a grin
@@ -4284,12 +4076,6 @@ Whose balls got caught in a socket.
 	So she threw the switch,
 And Crockett went off like a rocket.
 %
-There was a young man named Crockett
-Whose balls got caught in a socket.
-	His wife was a bitch,
-	Yeah, she threw the switch,
-And Crockett went off like a rocket.
-%
 There was a young man named Hughes
 Who swore off all kinds of booze.
 	He said, "When I'm muddled
@@ -4654,12 +4440,6 @@ Who remarked to his girl, "You're a tight one."
 	You're in the wrong hole;
 There's plenty of room in the right one."
 %
-There was a young sailor from Brighton
-Who said to his bird, "You're a tight'un."
-	She replied, "'Pon my soul,
-	You're in the wrong hole
-There's plenty of room in the right'un."
-%
 There was a young sapphic named Anna
 Who stuffed her friend's cunt with banana,
 	Which she sucked, bit by bit,
@@ -4963,12 +4743,6 @@ Who was stung in the arm by a wasp.
 	When asked, "Does it hurt?"
 	He relied, "No, it doesn't.
 I'm so glad that it wasn't a hornet."
-%
-There was an old man of St. Bees,
-Who was stung in the arm by a wasp.
-	When asked, "Does it hurt?"
-	He relied, "No, it doesn't.
-I'm so glad that it wasn't a hornet."
 		-- W.S. Gilbert
 %
 There was an old man of Tagore
@@ -4985,18 +4759,6 @@ He simply got tired of the counting.
 %
 There was an old man of the port
 Whose prick was remarkably short.
-	When he got into bed,
-	The old woman said,
-"That isn't a prick; it's a wart!"
-%
-There was an old man of the port
-Whose prick was remarkably short.
-	When he got into bed,
-	The old woman said,
-"This isn't a prick; it's a wart!"
-%
-There was an old man of the port
-Whose prick was remarkably short.
      When he got into bed,
      The old woman said,
 "That isn't a prick; it's a wart!"
@@ -5302,9 +5064,9 @@ That wears peckers down, limp and blunt!
 %
 When I was a baby, my penis
 Was as white as the buttocks of Venus.
-	But now 'this as red
+	But now 'tis as red
 	As her nipples instead--
-All because of the feminie genus!
+All because of the feminine genus!
 %
 When they asked a pert baggage name Alice,
 Who'd been bedded and banged in the palace,