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authorJason McIntyre <jmc@cvs.openbsd.org>2005-07-15 10:06:32 +0000
committerJason McIntyre <jmc@cvs.openbsd.org>2005-07-15 10:06:32 +0000
commit5d86db48f100ec074c778d872451ec371aa655fc (patch)
tree3e2b70e9340c97a69459072f1c1add47a639068e /games/fortune
parent6642eb449663f60a00c0e02566c478e6d02a61e8 (diff)
some improvements from ray lai: mainly dealing with erroneous double
spacing, but also some grammar, and a couple of dups removed;
Diffstat (limited to 'games/fortune')
-rw-r--r--games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes22
-rw-r--r--games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes-o.real2
-rw-r--r--games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes2105
-rw-r--r--games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes2-o32
-rw-r--r--games/fortune/datfiles/limerick2
-rw-r--r--games/fortune/datfiles/startrek4
6 files changed, 77 insertions, 90 deletions
diff --git a/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes b/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes
index f53e20fa32f..312debf25fe 100644
--- a/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes
+++ b/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes
@@ -295,7 +295,7 @@ favored by God with an extraordinary genius for swathing the bitter
facts of life in bandages of self-illusion.
-- H. L. Mencken
%
-A general leading the State Department resembles a dragon commanding
+A general leading the State Department resembles a dragon commanding
ducks.
-- New York Times, Jan. 20, 1981
%
@@ -3062,7 +3062,7 @@ come of nothing: speak again." -- King Lear.
-- Stan Kelly-Bootle, "The Devil's DP Dictionary"
%
#define BITCOUNT(x) (((BX_(x)+(BX_(x)>>4)) & 0x0F0F0F0F) % 255)
-#define BX_(x) ((x) - (((x)>>1)&0x77777777) \
+#define BX_(x) ((x) - (((x)>>1)&0x77777777) \
- (((x)>>2)&0x33333333) \
- (((x)>>3)&0x11111111))
@@ -3123,7 +3123,7 @@ Result is demagogism, license, agitation, discontent, anarchy.
since withdrawn.
%
Demographic polls show that you have lost credibility across the
-board. Especially with those 14 year-old Valley girls.
+board. Especially with those 14 year-old Valley girls.
%
Dentist, n.:
A Prestidigitator who, putting metal in one's mouth, pulls
@@ -4855,7 +4855,7 @@ Graduate life: It's not just a job. It's an indenture.
Grandpa Charnock's Law:
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
%
-Gravity is a myth: the Earth sucks.
+Gravity is a myth: the Earth sucks.
%
Gray's Law of Programming:
`_n+1' trivial tasks are expected to be accomplished in the same
@@ -5498,8 +5498,8 @@ back on the tray and bite another one and go, "Darn it! Another
cheese!" and so on.
-- Dave Barry, "The Stuff of Etiquette"
%
- How many seconds are there in a year? If I tell you there are
-3.155 x 10^7, you won't even try to remember it. On the other hand,
+ How many seconds are there in a year? If I tell you there are
+3.155 x 10^7, you won't even try to remember it. On the other hand,
who could forget that, to within half a percent, pi seconds is a
nanocentury.
-- Tom Duff, Bell Labs
@@ -10559,11 +10559,11 @@ POPI Punch Operator Immediately
PVLC Punch Variable Length Card
RASC Read And Shred Card
RPM Read Programmers Mind
-RSSC reduce speed, step carefully (for improved accuracy)
+RSSC reduce speed, step carefully (for improved accuracy)
RTAB Rewind tape and break
RWDSK rewind disk
RWOC Read Writing On Card
-SCRBL scribble to disk - faster than a write
+SCRBL scribble to disk - faster than a write
SLC Search for Lost Chord
SPSW Scramble Program Status Word
SRSD Seek Record and Scar Disk
@@ -12123,7 +12123,7 @@ Lover's Patties would be compressed into wads and sold as "Nuggets."
The best book on programming for the layman is "Alice in Wonderland";
but that's because it's the best book on anything for the layman.
%
-The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.
+The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.
-- W. C. Fields
%
The best defense against logic is ignorance.
@@ -14361,7 +14361,7 @@ Follow these simple suggestions:
(2) Use tape, magnets, or glue instead of paperweights.
(3) Give up skiing and skydiving for more horizontal sports like
curling.
-(4) Avoid showers .. take baths instead.
+(4) Avoid showers ... take baths instead.
(5) Don't hang all your clothes in the closet ... Keep them in one big
pile.
(6) Stop flipping pancakes
@@ -16072,7 +16072,7 @@ another $2 if he claims it will be His Pleasure to serve you and
another $2 for each "special" he describes involving confusing terms
such as "shallots," and $4 if the menu contains the word "fixin's." In
many restaurants, this means the waiter will actually owe you money.
-If you are traveling with a child aged six months to three years, you
+If you are traveling with a child aged six months to three years, you
should leave an additional amount equal to twice the bill to compensate
for the fact that they will have to take the banquette out and burn it
because the cracks are wedged solid with gobbets made of partially
diff --git a/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes-o.real b/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes-o.real
index 5d6d493a2a3..c5f48031617 100644
--- a/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes-o.real
+++ b/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes-o.real
@@ -1126,7 +1126,7 @@ considering whether there were men on base.
"Our government has kept us in a perpetual state of fear -- kept us in
a continuous stampede of patriotic fervor -- with the cry of grave
national emergency... Always there has been some terrible evil to
-gobble us up if we did not blindly rally behind it by furnishing the
+gobble us up if we did not blindly rally behind it by furnishing the
exorbitant sums demanded. Yet, in retrospect, these disasters seem
never to have happened, seem never to have been quite real."
-- General Douglas MacArthur, 1957
diff --git a/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes2 b/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes2
index c60703a237e..1dbe27a04b1 100644
--- a/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes2
+++ b/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes2
@@ -1529,7 +1529,7 @@ speaks in such a low voice I can hardly hear them.
and waist, that it is almost impossible to reach one's shoelaces. And the
sizes don't run the way they used to. The 12's and 14's are so much smaller.
Even people are changing. They are so much younger than they used to
-be when I was their age. On the other hand people my age are so much older
+be when I was their age. On the other hand people my age are so much older
than I am.
I ran into an old classmate the other day and she has aged so much
that she didn't recognize me.
@@ -1803,11 +1803,6 @@ of her blonde companion.
"How many people work here?"
"Oh, about half."
%
- How many seconds are there in a year? If I tell you there are
-3.155 x 10^7, you won't even try to remember it. On the other hand, who
-could forget that, to within half a percent, pi seconds is a nanocentury.
- -- Tom Duff, Bell Labs
-%
"How would I know if I believe in love at first sight?" the sexy
social climber said to her roommate. "I mean, I've never seen a Porsche
full of money before."
@@ -2529,14 +2524,6 @@ a girl should not do before twenty."
"Your mother is right," said the executive, "I don't like a large
audience, either."
%
- n = ((n >> 1) & 0x55555555) | ((n << 1) & 0xaaaaaaaa);
- n = ((n >> 2) & 0x33333333) | ((n << 2) & 0xcccccccc);
- n = ((n >> 4) & 0x0f0f0f0f) | ((n << 4) & 0xf0f0f0f0);
- n = ((n >> 8) & 0x00ff00ff) | ((n << 8) & 0xff00ff00);
- n = ((n >> 16) & 0x0000ffff) | ((n << 16) & 0xffff0000);
-
--- Reverse the bits in a word.
-%
Never ask your lover if he'd dive in front of an oncoming train for
you. He doesn't know. Never ask your lover if she'd dive in front of an
oncoming band of Hell's Angels for you. She doesn't know. Never ask how many
@@ -2551,7 +2538,7 @@ it. The answer is obvious. A Japanese tourist took the picture.
Never ask if your lover has had therapy. Only people who have had
therapy ask if people have had therapy.
Don't ask about plaster casts of male sex organs marked JIMI, JIM, etc.
-Assume that she bought them at a flea market.
+Assume that she bought them at a flea market.
-- James Peterson and Kate Nolan
%
NEW YORK-- Kraft Foods, Inc. announced today that its board of
@@ -3685,7 +3672,7 @@ his ticket at home. Not wanting to miss any of the first inning, he went
to the ticket booth and got in a long line for another seat. After an hour's
wait he was just a few feet from the booth when a voice called out, "Hey,
Dave!" The Aggie looked up, stepped out of line and tried to find the owner
-of the voice -- with no success. Then he realized he had lost his place in
+of the voice -- with no success. Then he realized he had lost his place in
line and had to wait all over again. When the fan finally bought his ticket,
he was thirsty, so he went to buy a drink. The line at the concession stand
was long, too, but since the game hadn't started he decided to wait. Just as
@@ -3693,7 +3680,7 @@ he got to the window, a voice called out, "Hey, Dave!" Again the Aggie tried
to find the voice -- but no luck. He was very upset as he got back in line
for his drink. Finally the fan went to his seat, eager for the game to begin.
As he waited for the pitch, he heard the voice calling, "Hey Dave!" once more.
-Furious, he stood up and yelled at the top of his lungs, "My name is not
+Furious, he stood up and yelled at the top of his lungs, "My name is not
Dave!"
%
Them Toad Suckers
@@ -5395,7 +5382,7 @@ The remaining 10% takes the other 90% of the time.
94% of the women in America are beautiful
and the rest hang out around here.
%
-A truly great man will neither trample on a worm nor sneak to an emperor.
+A truly great man will neither trample on a worm nor sneak to an emperor.
-- B. Franklin
%
A bachelor is a man who never made the same mistake once.
@@ -7641,10 +7628,10 @@ Colonel's hat. One shot took effect in his forehead.
%
According to a recent and unscientific national survey, smiling is something
everyone should do at least 6 times a day. In an effort to increase the
-national average (the US ranks third among the world's superpowers in
+national average (the US ranks third among the world's superpowers in
smiling), Xerox has instructed all personnel to be happy, effervescent, and
most importantly, to smile. Xerox employees agree, and even feel strongly
-that they can not only meet but surpass the national average... except for
+that they can not only meet but surpass the national average... except for
Tubby Ackerman. But because Tubby does such a fine job of racing around
parking lots with a large butterfly net retrieving floating IC chips, Xerox
decided to give him a break. If you see Tubby in a parking lot he may have
@@ -7840,7 +7827,7 @@ month than you did before.
After his legs had been broken in an accident, Mr. Miller sued for damages,
claiming that he was crippled and would have to spend the rest of his life
in a wheelchair. Although the insurance-company doctor testified that his
-bones had healed properly and that he was fully capable of walking, the
+bones had healed properly and that he was fully capable of walking, the
judge decided for the plaintiff and awarded him $500,000.
When he was wheeled into the insurance office to collect his check,
Miller was confronted by several executives. "You're not getting away with
@@ -9154,7 +9141,7 @@ nobody big, I mean -- except me. And I'm standing on the edge of some crazy
cliff. What I have to do, I have to catch everybody if they start to go
over the cliff -- I mean if they're running and they don't look where they're
going I have to come out from somewhere and catch them. That's all I'd do
-all day. I'd just be the catcher in the rye. I know it; I know it's crazy,
+all day. I'd just be the catcher in the rye. I know it; I know it's crazy,
but that's the only thing I'd really like to be. I know it's crazy.
-- J.D. Salinger, "Catcher in the Rye"
%
@@ -9425,7 +9412,7 @@ a few, three flies buzz down from the ceiling and lazily circle each drinker.
Suddenly "buzzzzzzzzplooop", each fly does a kamakazi dive into a different
glass.
The Englishman take a disgusted look at his pint, dips the fly out
-with a spoon, flicks the fly over his shoulder, and drains the glass.
+with a spoon, flicks the fly over his shoulder, and drains the glass.
The Aussie notices the fly as he puts the glass to his lips. With
a quick puff he blows the bug out in a cloud of foam, and tosses the beer
down in one gulp.
@@ -9864,7 +9851,7 @@ Business before pleasure."
Back in the early 60's, touch tone phones only had 10 buttons. Some
military versions had 16, while the 12 button jobs were used only by people
who had "diva" (digital inquiry, voice answerback) systems -- mainly banks.
-Since in those days, only Western Electric made "data sets" (modems) the
+Since in those days, only Western Electric made "data sets" (modems) the
problems of terminology were all Bell System. We used to struggle with
written descriptions of dial pads that were unfamiliar to most people
(most phones were rotary then.) Partly in jest, some AT&T engineering
@@ -10113,7 +10100,7 @@ Behind every great computer sits a skinny little geek.
Behind every successful man you'll find a woman with nothing to wear.
%
Behold the fool saith, "Put not all thine eggs in the one basket" -- which
-is but a manner of saying, "Scatter your money and your attention"; but
+is but a manner of saying, "Scatter your money and your attention"; but
the wise man saith, "Put all your eggs in the one basket and -- watch that
basket!"
-- Mark Twain
@@ -10722,7 +10709,7 @@ Ever stopped to think or CARE
"Tell 'em I lied."
%
But I always fired into the nearest hill or, failing that, into blackness.
-I meant no harm; I just liked the explosions. And I was careful never to
+I meant no harm; I just liked the explosions. And I was careful never to
kill more than I could eat.
-- Raoul Duke
%
@@ -11310,7 +11297,7 @@ COBOL is for morons.
%
COBOL programmers are down in the dumps.
%
-Coding is easy; All you do is sit staring at a
+Coding is easy: all you do is sit staring at a
terminal until the drops of blood form on your forehead.
%
Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum --
@@ -12134,7 +12121,7 @@ so post it as many places as you can.
%
Dear Sir,
I am firmly opposed to the spread of microchips either to the home or
-to the office, We have more than enough of them foisted upon us in public
+to the office, we have more than enough of them foisted upon us in public
places. They are a disgusting Americanism, and can only result in the farmers
being forced to grow smaller potatoes, which in turn will cause massive un-
employment in the already severely depressed agricultural industry.
@@ -15453,7 +15440,7 @@ Yes, damn thing wouldn't keep still, kept mucking about, 'owling...
Fourteen years in the professor dodge has taught me that one can argue
ingeniously on behalf of any theory, applied to any piece of literature.
This is rarely harmful, because normally no-one reads such essays.
- -- Robert Parker, quoted in "Murder Ink", ed. D. Wynn
+ -- Robert Parker, quoted in "Murder Ink", ed. D. Wynn
%
Frankly, Scarlett, I don't have a fix.
-- Rhett Buggler
@@ -15742,7 +15729,7 @@ Teach a man to fish, and he'll invite himself over for dinner.
Give a small boy a hammer and he will find
that everything he encounters needs pounding.
%
-Give a woman an inch and she'll park a car in it.
+Give a woman an inch and she'll park a car in it.
%
Give all orders verbally. Never write anything down
that might go into a "Pearl Harbor File".
@@ -16308,8 +16295,8 @@ Hackers are just a migratory lifeform with a tropism for computers.
%
Hacker's Guide To Cooking:
2 pkg. cream cheese (the mushy white stuff in silver wrappings that doesn't
- really come from Philadelphia after all; anyway, about 16 oz.)
-1 tsp. vanilla extract (which is more alcohol than vanilla and pretty
+ really come from Philadelphia after all; anyway, about 16 oz.)
+1 tsp. vanilla extract (which is more alcohol than vanilla and pretty
strong so this part you *GOTTA* measure)
1/4 cup sugar (but honey works fine too)
8 oz. Cool Whip (the fluffy stuff devoid of nutritional value that you
@@ -16321,10 +16308,10 @@ Hacker's Guide To Cooking:
beater if you have a cat(1) that can climb wall(1s) to lick it off
the ceiling(3m).
"Pour into a graham cracker crust..." Aha, the BUGS section at last. You
- just happened to have a GCC sitting around under /etc/food, right?
+ just happened to have a GCC sitting around under /etc/food, right?
If not, don't panic(8), merely crumble a rand(3m) handful of innocent
GCs into a suitable tempfile and mix in some melted butter.
-"...and refrigerate for an hour." Leave the recipe's stdout in a fridge
+"...and refrigerate for an hour." Leave the recipe's stdout in a fridge
for 3.6E6 milliseconds while you work on cleaning up stderr, and
by time out your cheesecake will be ready for stdin.
%
@@ -16727,7 +16714,7 @@ and heavy presence that you only see in a person who has abandoned
all hope of ever behaving "normally."
-- Hunter S. Thompson, "Fear and Loathing '72"
%
-He has been known by many names; the Prince of Lies, the Director, Lucifer,
+He has been known by many names; the Prince of Lies, the Director, Lucifer,
Belial, and once, at a party, some obnoxious drunk kept calling him "Dude".
-- Stig's Inferno
%
@@ -18582,7 +18569,7 @@ in a while I turn it on and off. On and off. On and off. One day I
got a call from a woman in France who said "Cut it out!"
-- Steven Wright
%
-I have a terrible headache, I was putting on toilet water and the lid fell.
+I have a terrible headache, I was putting on toilet water and the lid fell.
%
I have a theory that it's impossible to prove anything,
but I can't prove it.
@@ -19119,7 +19106,7 @@ and justice for all.
I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
-- S. Wright
%
-I prefer rogues to imbeciles because they sometimes take a rest.
+I prefer rogues to imbeciles because they sometimes take a rest.
-- Alexandre Dumas the Younger
%
I prefer the most unjust peace to the most righteous war.
@@ -19210,7 +19197,7 @@ the train to come in, he said to me: "Excuse me, Mr. Cooke, I don't want to
invade your privacy, but I have a bet with a friend of mine. Who composed
the opening theme music of `Omnibus'? My friend said Virgil Thomson." I
asked him, "What do you say?" He replied, "I say Aaron Copeland." I said,
-"You're right." The porter said, "I knew Thomson doesn't write counterpoint
+"You're right." The porter said, "I knew Thomson doesn't write counterpoint
that way." I told that to a network president, and he was deeply unimpressed.
-- Alistair Cooke
%
@@ -19233,7 +19220,7 @@ I respect the institution of marriage. I have always thought that every
woman should marry -- and no man.
-- Benjamin Disraeli, "Lothair"
%
-I reverently believe that the maker who made us all makes everything in New
+I reverently believe that the maker who made us all makes everything in New
England, but the weather. I don't know who makes that, but I think it must be
raw apprentices in the weather-clerks factory who experiment and learn how, in
New England, for board and clothes, and then are promoted to make weather for
@@ -22256,7 +22243,7 @@ to Poincare having had a "... sleepless night which initiated all that
memorable work ..." and gives the following, very revealing quote:
"One evening, contrary to my custom, I drank black coffee and
- could not sleep. Ideas rose in crowds; I felt them collide
+ could not sleep. Ideas rose in crowds; I felt them collide
until pairs interlocked, so to speak, making a stable
combination."
@@ -25114,7 +25101,7 @@ the earth, like because the first thing in saving this world, is getting
rid of stupid and square attitudes and having fun.
-- Senior Year Quote
%
-Like you, I am frequently haunted by profound questions related to man's
+Like you, I am frequently haunted by profound questions related to man's
place in the Scheme of Things. Here are just a few:
Q -- Is there life after death?
@@ -26216,7 +26203,7 @@ oxide, bus grant cards, gummy worms, and some bits of old pdp backplane to
hang above the machine room. This totem must be blessed by the old and wise
venerable god of unibus at once, before the idolatization of vme, q and pc
bus drive him to bitter revenge. Alas, if this fails, and the voodoo boxen
-aren't destroyed, there may be more than worms in the apple. Next, the
+aren't destroyed, there may be more than worms in the apple. Next, the
arrival of voodoo optico transmitigational magneto killer paramecium, capable
of teleporting from cable to cable, screen to screen, ear to ear and hoof
to mouth...
@@ -28408,7 +28395,7 @@ Talking politics and nuclear fission
We see him and he's all washed up --
Moving on into the body of a beetle
Getting ready for a long long crawl
-He ain't nothing -- he ain't nothing at all...
+He ain't nothing -- he ain't nothing at all...
Death and Money make their point once more
In the shape of Philosophical assassins
@@ -28512,7 +28499,7 @@ OCCAM'S ERASER:
%
OCCIDENT:
The part of the world lying west (or east) of the Orient. It is
- largely inhabited by Christians, powerful sub-tribe of the
+ largely inhabited by Christians, powerful sub-tribe of the
Hypocrites, whose principal industries are murder and cheating,
which they are pleased to call "war" and "commerce." These, also,
are the principal industries of the Orient.
@@ -29467,7 +29454,7 @@ Oral sex is like being attacked by a giant snail.
Orcs really aren't so bad (if you use lots of catsup).
%
Order and simplification are the first steps toward
-mastery of a subject -- the actual enemy is the unknown.
+mastery of a subject -- the actual enemy is the unknown.
-- Thomas Mann
%
OREGON:
@@ -29532,7 +29519,7 @@ but the trouble is they charge fifteen cents for them.
Our government has kept us in a perpetual state of fear -- kept us in a
continuous stampede of patriotic fervor -- with the cry of grave national
emergency... Always there has been some terrible evil to gobble us up if we
-did not blindly rally behind it by furnishing the exorbitant sums demanded.
+did not blindly rally behind it by furnishing the exorbitant sums demanded.
Yet, in retrospect, these disasters seem never to have happened, seem never
to have been quite real.
-- General Douglas MacArthur, 1957
@@ -29671,7 +29658,7 @@ panic: kernel segmentation violation. core dumped (only kidding)
%
Paprika Measure:
- 2 dashes == 1smidgen
+ 2 dashes == 1 smidgen
2 smidgens == 1 pinch
3 pinches == 1 soupcon
2 soupcons == too much paprika
@@ -31855,7 +31842,7 @@ Reception area, n:
Recipe for a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster:
(1) Take the juice from one bottle of Ol' Janx Spirit
(2) Pour into it one measure of water from the seas of
- Santraginus V (Oh, those Santraginean fish!)
+ Santraginus V. (Oh, those Santraginean fish!)
(3) Allow 3 cubes of Arcturan Mega-gin to melt into the
mixture (properly iced or the benzine is lost.)
(4) Allow four liters of Fallian marsh gas to bubble through it.
@@ -32525,7 +32512,7 @@ Caption:
"I'm sorry you've seen me, Billy. Now I'll have to kill you."
%
Schmidt's Observation:
- All things being equal, a fat person uses more soap
+ All things being equal, a fat person uses more soap
than a thin person.
%
Science and religion are in full accord but
@@ -34717,8 +34704,8 @@ That's where the money was.
It's a rather pleasant experience to be alone in a bank at night.
-- Willie Sutton
%
-The White Rabbit put on his spectacles.
- "Where shall I begin, please your Majesty ?" he asked.
+The White Rabbit put on his spectacles.
+ "Where shall I begin, please your Majesty ?" he asked.
"Begin at the beginning,", the King said, very gravely,
"and go on till you come to the end: then stop."
-- Lewis Carroll
@@ -37662,7 +37649,7 @@ The propriety of some persons seems to consist in having improper
thoughts about their neighbours.
-- F.H. Bradley
%
-The public demands certainties; it must be told definitely and a bit
+The public demands certainties; it must be told definitely and a bit
raucously that this is true and that is false. But there are no
certainties.
-- H.L. Mencken, "Prejudice"
@@ -38872,7 +38859,7 @@ Proceed by induction:
So A = B.
Assume that the theorem is true for some value k. Take A and B with
- MAX(A, B) = k+1. Then MAX((A-1), (B-1)) = k. And hence
+ MAX(A, B) = k+1. Then MAX((A-1), (B-1)) = k. And hence
(A-1) = (B-1). Consequently, A = B.
%
Theorem: All programs are dull.
@@ -39594,7 +39581,7 @@ There was a young man from Verdunne.
There was an old Indian belief that by making love on the hide of
their favorite animal, one could guarantee the health and prosperity
of the offspring conceived thereupon. And so it goes that one Indian
-couple made love on a buffalo hide. Nine months later, they were
+couple made love on a buffalo hide. Nine months later, they were
blessed with a healthy baby son. Yet another couple huddled together
on the hide of a deer and they too were blessed with a very healthy
baby son. But a third couple, whose favorite animal was a hippopotamus,
@@ -40035,10 +40022,10 @@ This "brain-damaged" epithet is getting sorely overworked. When we can
speak of someone or something being flawed, impaired, marred, spoiled;
batty, bedlamite, bonkers, buggy, cracked, crazed, cuckoo, daft, demented,
deranged, loco, lunatic, mad, maniac, mindless, non compos mentis, nuts,
-Reaganite, screwy, teched, unbalanced, unsound, witless, wrong; senseless,
-spastic, spasmodic, convulsive; doped, spaced-out, stoned, zonked; {beef,
+Reaganite, screwy, teched, unbalanced, unsound, witless, wrong; senseless,
+spastic, spasmodic, convulsive; doped, spaced-out, stoned, zonked; {beef,
beetle,block,dung,thick}headed, dense, doltish, dull, duncical, numskulled,
-pinhead; asinine, fatuous, foolish, silly, simple; brute, lumbering, oafish;
+pinhead; asinine, fatuous, foolish, silly, simple; brute, lumbering, oafish;
half-assed, incompetent; backward, retarded, imbecilic, moronic; when we have
a whole precisely nuanced vocabulary of intellectual abuse to draw upon,
individually and in combination, isn't it a little <fill in the blank> to be
@@ -41376,7 +41363,7 @@ And stood awhile in thought. The Jabberstock, with clothes of tweed,
Chip Black! Chip Blue! And through And yuppied great with greed!
and through
The forecast blade went snicker-snack! "And hast thou slain the Jabberstock?
-It bit the dirt, and with its shirt, Come to my firm, V.P.ish boy!
+It bit the dirt, and with its shirt, Come to my firm, V.P.ish boy!
He went rebounding back. O big bucks day! Moolah! Good Play!"
He bought him a Mercedes Toy.
'Twas panic, and the slithy brokers
@@ -46341,7 +46328,7 @@ If you want to get anywhere, you'll have to run much faster.
You humans are all alike.
%
You just know when a relationship is about to end. My girlfriend called me
-at work and asked me how you change a lightbulb in the bathroom. "It's very
+at work and asked me how you change a lightbulb in the bathroom. "It's very
simple," I said. "You start by filling up the bathtub with water..."
%
You just wait, I'll sin till I blow up!
diff --git a/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes2-o b/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes2-o
index d0ac22f3d80..1d7ea6e5306 100644
--- a/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes2-o
+++ b/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes2-o
@@ -650,7 +650,7 @@ a postcard?"
Yuppie women are; cold, ruthless bitches with no time for love, and only
an occasional weekend for sex. Your one "hot date" with Joe Fastrack,
rising corporate star, ended in disaster. Yesterday you heard him telling
-a friend over lunch, "The woman must masturbate with popsicles!" Well,
+a friend over lunch, "The woman must masturbate with popsicles!" Well,
all is not lost! SofSqueeze can change your nickname to Electrolux in just
15 minutes a day!
SofSqueeze is a pressure sensitive device (divided into appropriate
@@ -1286,7 +1286,7 @@ it. The answer is obvious. A Japanese tourist took the picture.
Never ask if your lover has had therapy. Only people who have had
therapy ask if people have had therapy.
Don't ask about plaster casts of male sex organs marked JIMI, JIM, etc.
-Assume that she bought them at a flea market.
+Assume that she bought them at a flea market.
-- James Peterson and Kate Nolan
%
Never take a resume seriously. Resumes only make money for the
@@ -1354,7 +1354,7 @@ his current flow, it caused her shunt to overheat, and Micro-Farad was rapidly
discharged and drained of every electron. They Fluxed all night trying
various connections and sockets until his magnet had a soft core and lost
all of its field strength.
- Afterwards, Milli-Amp tried self-induction and damaged her
+ Afterwards, Milli-Amp tried self-induction and damaged her
solenoids. With his battery fully discharged, Micro-Farad was unable to
excite his field, so they spent the night reversing polarity and blowing
each others fuses.
@@ -1859,7 +1859,7 @@ being so helpless.
%
This guy is walking down the beach one fine sunny day, feeling
good, when suddenly he sees this woman with no arms or legs in a wheelchair,
-sobbing like crazy. He decides to be gallant, "What's wrong, miss?"
+sobbing like crazy. He decides to be gallant, "What's wrong, miss?"
"I...<sob, sniffle>...I'm 21 and I <choke> I've never been kissed...
<sniffle>"
So this guy, he decides, what the hell, let's cheer up the poor lady.
@@ -2106,7 +2106,7 @@ be anything else?"
You see, this girl wakes up one morning, rolls over and sees an
elephant in the bed with her. Almost in shock, she says, "Did I pick you
up in the bar last night?"
- "Uh-huh," the elephant replies.
+ "Uh-huh," the elephant replies.
"Did I bring you home?"
"Uh-huh."
"Did we, uh, fool around?"
@@ -2963,7 +2963,7 @@ worked. Finally, the butler bursts into the room, summoned by her screams.
A husky foreigner, looking for sex, accepted a prostitute's terms. When
she undressed, he noticed that she had no pubic hair. The man shouted,
"What, no wool? In my country all women have wool down there."
- The prostitute snapped back, "What do you want to do, knit or fuck?"
+ The prostitute snapped back, "What do you want to do, knit or fuck?"
%
A lanky Texan was mad because Texas had just become the second largest state in
the Union, so he made up his mind to move to Alaska. He drove for three days
@@ -3235,7 +3235,7 @@ longer and about an inch wider," the doctor says.
"Malignant."
%
A man was playing golf one day when a little frog hopped out the water at a
-water hazard and croaked, "I am a magic frog, and since you are the 10,000th
+water hazard and croaked, "I am a magic frog, and since you are the 10,000th
person to play through here, I'm prepared to offer you one of two magic gifts:
First, for a whole year you can have the most fabulous sex life that anyone
ever had; beyond your wildest dreams. Or, second, for a whole year you can
@@ -5152,7 +5152,7 @@ Confucius say:
%
Confucius say:
woman who ride bicycle peddle ass around town.
- fool man climb tree to get cherries; wise man spread limbs.
+ fool man climb tree to get cherries; wise man spread limbs.
woman who fly upside down in airplane have big crack up.
man who live in glass house should bathe in the basement.
man who make love on ground have piece on Earth.
@@ -8471,7 +8471,7 @@ I said "Fix the damned thing and leave my private
It was at the eighth annual mouse convention and mice from near and far had
gathered for the ball. A pretty little female mouse waltzed by the stag
line and one of the males whistled a low, dirty whistle to himself.
-Turning to another mouse he said, "Look at the legs on that bitch, aren't
+Turning to another mouse he said, "Look at the legs on that bitch, aren't
they beautiful?"
"Just fair," was the answer.
"You're crazy," said the first mouse and then turning to another,
@@ -9339,7 +9339,7 @@ billions of tiny units of protoplasm, called "cells"! And what is even more
interesting, the ones on the outside are all dying! This is a fact. Your
skin is like an aggressive modern corporation, where the older veteran cells,
who have finally worked their way to the top and obtained offices with nice
-views, are constantly being shoved out the window head first, without so
+views, are constantly being shoved out the window head first, without so
much as a pension plan, by younger hotshot cells moving up from below.
-- Dave Barry
%
@@ -10274,7 +10274,7 @@ One morning after an evening of particularly heavy drinking, a man awoke
and upon rolling over in bed saw one of the ugliest women he had ever
seen. As he was about to get out of bed, he looked on the floor and saw
another woman even less appealing than the first. Seeing his look of
-wide-eyed amazement, the woman on the floor snapped, "Don't look at me
+wide-eyed amazement, the woman on the floor snapped, "Don't look at me
like that, I was only the bridesmaid."
%
One night a girl had an affair
@@ -11293,10 +11293,10 @@ quickie, n:
quickie, n:
No sooner spread than done.
%
-QWERT (kwirt) n. [MW < OW qwertyuiop, a thirteenth] 1. a unit of weight
-equal to 13 poiuyt avoirdupois (or 1.69 kiloliks), commonly used in
+QWERT (kwirt) n. [MW < OW qwertyuiop, a thirteenth] 1. a unit of weight
+equal to 13 poiuyt avoirdupois (or 1.69 kiloliks), commonly used in
structural engineering 2. [Colloq.] one thirteenth the load that a fully
-grown sligo can carry. 3. [Anat.] a painful irritation of the dermis
+grown sligo can carry. 3. [Anat.] a painful irritation of the dermis
in the region of the anus 4. [Slang] person who excites in others the
symptoms of a qwert.
-- Webster's Middle World Dictionary, 4th ed.
@@ -14338,7 +14338,7 @@ We ... make the modern error of dignifying the Individual. We do everything
we can to butter him up. We give him a name, assure him that he has certain
inalienable rights, educate him, let him pass on his name to his brats and
when he dies we give him a special hole in the ground ... But after all, he's
-only a seed, a bloom and a withering stalk among pressing billions. Your
+only a seed, a bloom and a withering stalk among pressing billions. Your
Individual is a pretty disgusting, vain, lewd little bastard ... By God,
he has only one right guaranteed him in Nature, and that is the right to die
and stink to Heaven.
@@ -14875,7 +14875,7 @@ When the naive young lady asked the clerk in Le Sex Shoppe to show her his
selection of vibrators, he brought out the two most popular ones.
"The basic white plastic one here is twenty dollars," the clerk said.
"The flesh-toned rubber models are thirty."
- "I'm just not sure," the woman said, Then she noticed an eye-catching
+ "I'm just not sure," the woman said. Then she noticed an eye-catching
item on the back shelf. "How much is that plaid one over there?
"Uh, well, that's a pretty special one," said the clerk. "I couldn't
sell you that one for less than a hundred."
diff --git a/games/fortune/datfiles/limerick b/games/fortune/datfiles/limerick
index 6b68000c9bf..42328163567 100644
--- a/games/fortune/datfiles/limerick
+++ b/games/fortune/datfiles/limerick
@@ -3712,7 +3712,7 @@ I much prefer fucking to feeling."
There was a young lady of fashion
Who had oodles and oodles of passion.
To her lover she said,
- As they climbed into bed,
+ As they climbed into bed,
"Here's one thing the bastards can't ration!"
%
There was a young lady of Fez
diff --git a/games/fortune/datfiles/startrek b/games/fortune/datfiles/startrek
index d6ff02aaa6d..c41f96f1aa0 100644
--- a/games/fortune/datfiles/startrek
+++ b/games/fortune/datfiles/startrek
@@ -181,7 +181,7 @@ I have never understood the female capacity to avoid a direct answer to
any question.
-- Spock, "This Side of Paradise", stardate 3417.3
%
-I object to intellect without discipline; I object to power without
+I object to intellect without discipline; I object to power without
constructive purpose.
-- Spock, "The Squire of Gothos", stardate 2124.5
%
@@ -322,7 +322,7 @@ Madness has no purpose. Or reason. But it may have a goal.
-- Spock, "The Alternative Factor", stardate 3088.7
%
Many Myths are based on truth
- -- Spock, "The Way to Eden", stardate 5832.3
+ -- Spock, "The Way to Eden", stardate 5832.3
%
Men don't talk peace unless they're ready to back it up with war.
-- Col. Green, "The Savage Curtain", stardate 5906.4